Men vs. Women-Funny Part 2

Men vs. Women
from http://www.funny2.com/menandwomen.htm

Groceries:

Women: A woman makes a list of things she needs, then goes out to the store and buys those things.

Men: A man waits till the only items left in his fridge are half a lime and a beer. Then he goes grocery shopping. He buys everything that looks good. By the time a man reaches the checkout counter, his cart is packed tighter than the Clampett's car on Beverly Hillbillies. Of course, this will not stop him from going to the express lane.


Maturity:

Women: They mature much faster than men. Most 17-year old females can function as adults.

Men: Most 17-year old males are still trading baseball cards and giving each other wedgies after gym class. This is why high school romances rarely work out.

Shoes:

Women: When preparing for work, a woman will put on a wool suit, then slip on Reebok sneakers. She will carry her dress shoes in a plastic bag from Saks. When a woman gets to work, she will put on her dress shoes. Five minutes later, she will kick them off because her feet are under the desk.

Men: A man will wear the same pair of shoes all day. Let's not talk about how many days he'll wear the same socks.


Children:

Women: A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and soccer games and romances and best friends and favorite foods and secret fears and hopes and dreams.

Men: A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

Laundry:

Women: Women do laundry every couple of days.

Men: A man will wear every article of clothing he owns, including his surgical pants (the ones that were hip about eight years ago) before he will do his laundry. When he is finally out of clothes, he will wear a dirty sweatshirt inside out, rent a U-Haul and take his mountain of clothes to the Laundromat. Men always expect to meet beautiful women at the Laundromat. This is a myth perpetuated by reruns of old episodes of "Love American Style."


Mirrors:

Men: Men are vain and will check themselves out in a mirror.

Women: They are ridiculous; they will check out their reflections in any shiny surface: mirrors, spoons, store windows, bald guys' heads.


Richard Gere:

Women: Women like Richard Gere because he is sexy in a dangerous way.

Men: Men hate Richard Gere because he reminds them of that slick guy who works at the health club and dates only married women.

Locker Rooms:

Men: In the locker room men talk about three things: money, football, and women. They exaggerate about money, they don't know football nearly as well as they think they do, and they fabricate stories about women.

Women: They talk about one thing in the locker room - sex. And not in abstract terms, either. They are extremely graphic and technical, and they never lie.

Friends:

Women: Women on a girls' night out talk the whole time.

Men: Men on a boy's night out say about twenty words all night, most of which are "Pass the Doritos" or "got any more beer?"

Online dating- 5 things to avoid

Posted Oct 10th 2007 1:30PM by Joshua Fruhlinger
This article came from AOL


Everyone's doing it - over 40 percent of U.S. singles are finding matches online. That's more than 40 million single Americans cruising the Internet looking for love (based on census results that say there are over 100 million single Americans).

So the Internet must be a great place to find true love, right? Not so fast. While online dating can be a great way to find someone new, dating sites are littered with scam artists, cheaters, and straight-up liars.

Now, this doesn't mean you should avoid online dating altogether -- just don't believe everything you see out there. In order to help sort out the winners from the losers, we've compiled a list of the top five types of online daters you should definitely avoid, along with some tips to help you save some heartache. Be careful out there, and good luck!



1. Liars
In a recent survey, it was found that most online profiles contain some sort of lie, whether it's the person's age or -- in some cases -- relationship status. White lies -- adding an inch to height or dropping a couple pounds -- are the most common and not a big deal to most people.

Consider these facts according to the April 2007 issue of Proceedings of Computer/Human Interaction:


About 52.6 percent of men lie about their height, as do 39 percent of women.
Slightly more women lie about their weight (64.1 percent) than men (60.5 percent).
When it comes to age, 24.3 percent men lie compared with 13.1 percent of women.
When it comes to misrepresenations of age or relationship status, be careful or you could get seriously burned. In one recent case, a woman met a man on a popular dating site with whom she immediately hit it off. She even put her life on hold to go with him to Dubai when he was transferred for work. Eleven months into the relationship, she came across an e-mail -- from his son! What's more, the e-mail said something about "Mom" saying hi. In one fell swoop, our poor girl found out the man she met online was not only a father -- he was married! She moved back to the United States and has given up on online dating since.

How to Avoid Them:

Ask questions. Though it may be listed on someone's profile, someone's age is fair game in the questions department, so feel free to ask your potential date how old (or young!) they are. You may find that 35 suddenly becomes 42. While you don't want to ask too many questions and scare the person away, it's perfectly fair to verify the big things: age, weight, height, and -- most of all -- whether or not that person is, in fact, single. Half the time, people lie on their profiles to get people interested -- nine times out of ten, someone will level with you about their stats once you show some real interest, since they know they might have a chance of meeting you in person.


2. Photo Fakes

Dating site traffic analyses show that profiles with pictures are clicked on twice as much as those without. Having a good picture of yourself can be the difference between getting seen and getting lost. However, some people take the notion of "looking good" a little too far. They post misleading pictures that can trap you into thinking you're meeting your dreamboat only to find a shipwreck waiting for you. Let's face it, not everyone looks as good as George Clooney or Angelina Jolie.

Joan, a woman from New Jersey, had thought she met Mr. Right. He was charming and -- according to the picture on his profile -- quite handsome. She looked forward to seeing his auburn hair and deep eyes when it turned out that Mr. Right had gone gray. He also hadn't seen a gym in years. Turns out that his profile picture was over five years old. While there's nothing wrong with gray hair or a couple extra pounds, people who misrepresent their looks aren't being honest.

How to avoid them:

Look for profiles with more than one picture. People who choose only flattering angles could be hiding something. Ask for a recent picture, and if the person refuses, you could be looking at that person's high school yearbook photo. And if someone looks as good as George Clooney or Angelina Jolie, you need to double-check that it's for real.


3. Fixer-Uppers

Most marriages end in divorce -- that's just a fact of life. But many people on the rebound make their profiles all about what they don't want. The truth is, these people are on the rebound and are likely to still be living with the wounds of their last relationship. You may be in for some serious scrutiny, criticism, and baggage-handling, so beware. Imagine, for example, what any of Sir Paul McCartney's new lovers must think as he talks about his past relationships!

Consider these recent profile headlines:

• Cheaters Need Not Apply
• Tired of Meeting Women in Bars
• No Manipulative B*thces, please!
• Please Don't Be A Liar
• Felons, potheads and jerks need not apply

What we have here are jilted lovers. Run. Run away. While it's a good idea to learn from your past relationships, no one wants to date a bitter, angry person. By telling people what you don't want, you're scaring off potential mates.

On the other side, if you're reading profiles, avoid these singles as they are either recently out of relationships or still getting over something pretty big. They're not ready, and you don't want to be their fixer-upper.

How to avoid them:

To steer clear of the fixer-upper at all costs, watch out for the aforementioned profile headlines. While you may hate the same things these rebounders do, you still shouldn't pursue a relationship with them. Having something in common can be great, but those things should be positive, not negative. As the old saying goes,"You must love yourself before you love another...."

4. Membership Fishers

You finally got a response to your profile, and she's hot! You're all set to respond to the beauty queen, but there's one problem: Her profile happens to be over at some other site.

Of course, before you can send her a note on her profile, you're asked by the new dating site she's listed with the to sign up. Before you know it, you're a member of a new dating site, and it has your credit card info, and, it turns out, your new love doesn't exist.

Dating sites make their money on membership dues, and with thousands of them competing for daters, they're in a vicious fight to get you to sign up. Some wily sites have taken to trolling single people from other sites, making them think that a new lovely wants to meet them... at a new site that requires signing up.

How to avoid them:

Make sure anyone you hear from is already signed up with the online dating site you're signed up with. If someone responds to your profile, it means they already have a profile at the site you are using. Don't fall for the "meet me over here" tactic. If they really like you, they'll come talk to you where you are.

5. Cheaters

How is it possible that this new, wonderful person is still single? In fact, he or she may not be. While there are some great singles out there waiting to steal your heart away, some of them are not, in fact, single. Surprise, surprise, it turns out that some people use dating sites as a way to get a little something on the side when they're out of town.

Consider this story about Jill, a 27-year-old Washington, DC, marketing executive, who met the "man of her dreams" online:

"Since he lived in a different city ‑- Roanoke, Virginia ‑- it was easy for him to sneak around." She told iVillage, "Although he made excuse after excuse about why he continually had to cancel a date at the last minute ‑- one time claiming he'd been in a car accident ‑- I got suspicious only after I knew everything." There had been numerous red flags. For instance, he only called from his cell phone while driving in his car. It turns out that Joe (not his real name) was talking to several women online. According to his wife, Jill was the only one he'd actually met and kissed.

How to avoid them:

Look out for people who can only talk to you during the day, will only talk online or via text message, or who mysteriously disappear at night and on weekends. Other warning signs include out-of-town lovers who happen to be in town a lot. And be especially cautious of people who live thousands of miles away, since you have no real way of verifying what's actually going on with them day-to-day. There's a good chance you could be on the back burner. Also, look out for people who list their status as "separated" -- they could be separated in mind, only.

How to Communicate with a Man

Here are some proven ways to get your point across – and get what you want. These tips come from Oprah’s “O” magazine.

The best way to tell a man you’re interested – without sounding desperate – is to use the word “maybe.” In other words, “Maybe we should get together,” or “Maybe we should get a cup of coffee.” Why? There’s enough “yes” in “maybe” to keep a man from feeling rejected and enough “no” to keep him challenged. Think of it as a dance. Give him an opening – and then let him take the lead. W. Bruce Cameron, author of How to Remodel a Man, says whether it’s a first date or your 30th anniversary, a man likes to think every move is his idea! I know it may sound old-fashioned or sexist, but that’s what his research found to be true.

When you’re having an argument, know this: No matter what you’re arguing about, guys want to be right. Cameron says it’s a weakness you can use against men and saying “You’re right” is the verbal equivalent of tranquilizing a rampaging elephant. It gives him what he wants, reduces tension, and paves the way for you to get what you want. For example, say you want to go to a party, but your boyfriend wants to skip it because he doesn’t know anybody, and hates feeling like an outsider.Try saying: “You’re right, but I still want to go to the party with you.” It’s a win-win situation. He gets to hear he’s right but you still get your point across about the party.

When you need something done, don’t make it an order. For example, if your shower won’t stop dripping, don’t say, “Fix the drip in the shower already!” – that’s an order. Instead, let him be in charge of solving the problem. Try saying: “The leak in the shower’s driving me crazy. What should we do?” His response will probably be, “I’ll take a look after dinner.” Bottom line: Men love to be in charge and show off their skills – but they don’t like being told what to do. If you’d like to go further, the book is: How to Remodel a Man by W. Bruce Cameron.

Older Women, Younger Men

Over the past few newsletters, we have revisited the issue of having an event for Older Women and Younger Men (Men 25-35 and Women 35-45) and the flip side of an event for Older Men and Younger Women (Men 35-45 and Women 25-35). The results are in:

A) Older Women, Younger Men: About 7 or 8 men and several women responded that they would be interested in an event for Women ages 35-45 and Men 25-35. The results warrant further research into such an event.

B) Older Men, Younger Women: About 57 men and 0 Women responded that they would be interested in an event for Women ages 25-35 and Men 35-45. Based on these results, this event will not take place.


Bottom Line: Although more men seem to be open to the idea of dating an older woman, the vast majority still want to date younger women.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------The following article was in the NY Post last Week


BETTER WITH AGE
OLD MAN, YOUNG LADY LIVE LONG & PROSPER
By MARINA VATAJ

October 23, 2007 -- SOME call them sugar daddies. (Others just call them dirty old men.)

But scientists say older men who shack up with much younger women are actually the answer to longevity. Who knew?

According to a new study conducted by Shripad Tuljapurkar and Cedric Puleston of Stanford University, when men mate with women who are eight or more years younger, it increases the life span of both sexes over time.

Sound confusing? Here's the deal:

Scientifically speaking, once people can no longer reproduce, they cease to have a biological purpose. For women, the "wall of death" age, as evolutionary theorists so cheerfully call it, is about 50. But men - and here's where the testosterone kicks in - can reproduce into their late 70s, so long as they have good genes and, well, good equipment.

So, when an older man mates with a young woman, he's essentially postponing death. And his long-life genes - you know he's got them if he can have kids at that age - get passed on to his children.

"Men who have children at a late age help to make natural selection work to protect human survival, because they are passing on more genes. It's just the way we've evolved as humans," Puleston says.

So old men making babies may bolster human longevity in the long term - but what's the immediate excuse for the ancient-man-trophy-wife match? According to Dr. Mark Liponis, author of "UltraLongevity: The Seven-Step Program for a Younger, Healthier You," young women can give a much-needed boost to their older partners' immune systems.

"Being close to someone makes your immune systems very alike," he says. "And an older man's worn-down, tired immune system will improve simply by being in contact with a younger person who is more energetic and healthier."

Still, a young wife offers more than mere health benefits.

"An older man/younger woman couple is the best kind, and more divorced men are choosing women 10 or 20 years younger the second time around, because they can," says R. Don Steele, author of "How To Date Young Women for Men Over 35."

"But it's important to keep in mind that it's beneficial to both the man and the women." Steele says that women want a wise, settled and rich man, while men want impressionable and youthful women - it's a two-way street.

"He offers security - and she boosts him up, improving his mood and blood pressure, helping him to live longer."

While some women may disagree with the anti-feminist tendencies of such a match, others might argue that it defines feminism.

"Women are choosing the men they want to marry - they aren't being selected," says Helen Fisher, an anthropologist and author of "Why We Love."

"When choosing an older man, she is getting someone who is settled, has a network and money and can take care of her. Plus, if she has children with him, her children will acquire some of the genes to his longevity."

Power Words in Dating

from www.tesh.com

The way to a woman’s heart is through her ears! Meaning – what you say can have a huge impact on how a woman feels about you. So guys, here are some power words to use in common dating scenarios. These will help you woo the woman you have a crush on. We got this from several psychologists interviewed by Rodale publishing.

So let’s say you’re asking her out for the first time. You might typically say, “Want to go out to dinner on Friday night?” Instead say this: “Want to go out for Thai food Friday night?” What’s the big deal about mentioning Thai food? You’re creating an experience she can visualize. So unlike the standard “Wanna have dinner?” – you’re engaging her imagination and putting her in the moment. She’ll see you two sharing Pad Thai and be more apt to say ‘yes.’

Okay – so she said yes to dinner and now you’re at the restaurant and the entrees have arrived. You’d like to offer her a piece of your meal because it’s delicious – but also because her accepting a taste means psychologically that she’s accepting you in a way. So normally you’d say, “Want some pasta?” Instead say, “Want a taste of my pasta?” It works because words that describe actions or senses make the offer more appealing. So it’s not “Want a spoonful of my dessert?” It’s “Want a bite of my cheesecake?” You hear commercials use this type of “active” and “sensory” language all the time.

The date is over, it went well, and you want to secure date #2. In the past, you might have said, “Are you free next Saturday. There’s a concert in the park.” Instead, this time say, “I’d love to see you again. Maybe we could we try getting together next Saturday because I have tickets for a concert.” You may think that proposal sounds wimpy because you said “maybe we could try” but what those words do is give the woman a chance to say ‘yes’ without feeling pressured. Saying “because” – as in “because I have tickets” is the magic word. According to psychologists, people agree 66% percent more often when they hear a phrase with “because” in it. Why? Because people like hearing the reasoning behind the request.

Manhattan Singles events
Manhattan Single

Singles Mingle at the Tree? Ice Skating

Would be interested in an informal mingle to see the Christmas Tree and Rockefeller Center and then go ice skating afterwards.

I am thinking of either a Sunday Afternoon on December 16th (not to worry football fans, since the Giants are on at 8 PM and the Jets are already out of it) or Saturday, December 22nd.

Are you interested and do you have a preferred date?

Rules of Attraction

New Rules of Attraction

From www.Tesh.com


Guys, when it comes to wooing a woman – avoiding the things that’ll scare her off is just as important as doing the things she likes! So here are some new rules of attraction from Rodale Publishing.

The first rule: Connect quickly! According to a study by MIT, first impressions, good or bad, are formed almost immediately. The best way to make a good impression is to find something in common right away – whether it’s your love of the Green Bay Packers or your dislike for sushi. Even though one is a negative, you’re still proving that you have something in common. The worst thing you can do when it comes to first impressions? Talk her head off. Women want three things from a first impression: Confidence, chemistry, and conversation. It’s not about a long conversation, it’s about a memorable one.

The next rule of attraction:Make your friends her friends too. So steer her over to your group and introduce her. It proves to a woman that you respect her – because you wouldn’t introduce a woman to your friends if you weren’t genuinely interested. When you do, say something like this: “Hey guys, I want you to meet Carrie. Her ears are still recovering from my karaoke.” Self-effacing humor shows you’re confident enough to laugh at yourself. The worst thing you can do: Back the woman into a corner by herself. That’ll make you seem possessive, scary and threatening.

One more rule of attraction: Compliment her on something specific and unique. According to Canadian researchers, women are most receptive to praise when it reveals one of their uncommon personality traits. So tailor your compliment to her by paying attention – try something like, “Wow, you’re a school teacher? You must be an amazingly patient person.” The worst thing you can do: Give her some cheesy compliment about the way she looks. Say, “I like your halter top” and you’ll remain just another dateless chump.

NYC Singles
NYC Single

How Men Drive Women Crazy

Guys, there are some things we do that drive women crazy
from http://www.Tesh.com


You may not want to hear about it, but "Netscape.Com's" relationship expert - Laura Snyder - wants you to know what they are. She says generally speaking, women are pretty happy with men. But there's always room for improvement. Are you guilty of any of these charges?

You have no manners. Without mentioning any specific bodily functions, you get the idea. While they're happy that you're so comfortable around them, women would prefer you to keep your private habits a little more private.

You can be a total slob. Women notice everything! Dirty fingernails, stains, holes in your clothes. Plus there's your dirty laundry all over the floor and the way you drink the milk out of the carton. Not a way to impress a lady.

You have selective hearing. You tune her out and only hear buzz words like “football” or “food.” Make sure you take the time to really listen to her.

You're not observant. Women want you to notice if they cut their hair or lose weight. They want you to notice if they're wearing something new, even if it seems like they're always wearing something new. And they especially want you to notice if they're acting funny even if they say “nothing's wrong”.

You treat her like your friends. You can get away with wisecracks, corny jokes, and macho behavior when you're out with the boys - but she wants to be treated a whole lot better than your friends. If you wouldn't want someone treating your Mom or your kid sister that way, don't do it to your girlfriend. So there you have it guys. The ladies have spoken.

NY Single
NYC Single

What does that phrase mean?

The following article comes from Tesh.com. It is about common female phrases and how to interpret them. This post is your chance to ask about both male and female phrases and ask readers for advice on what it means.

From www.tesh.com

Learn to Decode Common Female Phrases
Guys. If someone compiled a dictionary full of “female-to-male” translations, you’d be the first one in line to buy it, right? Well, here's a piece on how to decode some common female phrases, courtesy of Rodale Publications.

The first confusing female phrase: “I’m between relationships.” What this really means is “I’m interested in you, but I haven’t made up my mind, yet.” Basically, she’s not sure if she wants to date you. Maybe she was hurt in a past relationship. Or maybe she’s worried dating someone will take focus away from her budding career. However, if she thought you were completely repulsive, she probably would’ve said “I don’t have time for a relationship.” So although she’s put up a wall, there’s an open window in that wall. So how can you get through that window? Invite her and her friends to a barbecue at your place. If you can win over her friends with your sparkling wit and unavoidable charm, she’ll probably give you a shot.

“I’ve been dying to see that movie!” Translation: “Ask me out!” Guys! She’s not gushing over “The Kingdom” for her health! Communications professor Dr. Narissra Carter says any unsolicited desire a woman expresses about a movie or a new restaurant is often an invitation to ask her out. So guys, if she says she’s dying to see a movie, you’d be wise to say “Me too! How about we go next Friday?”




“I’ve been out a couple of times with this one guy, but we’re not exclusively dating.” What this means is: “I’m dating a little, but it’s nothing serious. So if you impress me, I might date YOU exclusively.” Guys, how should you handle this one? Ask her to help you shop for a tie. Shopping is something you’d do with a boyfriend or girlfriend. So if the two of you participate in a relationship-type activity, she’ll naturally picture the two of YOU in a relationship.

Long Island Single; NYC Singles

Catcalls- Another reason why it is hard for men to approach

NYPOST.com

AY MAMI!
TRUE TALES FROM THE SEASON OF THE CATCALL
By MANDY STADTMILLER

June 28, 2007 -- 'HEY baby, if beauty was a crime, you'd be locked up for life!"
"Come on, hot stuff, how short does that skirt go?"
"Damn, why you got to keep walking like that?"
Why yes - it is the height of catcall season, again.
Now reaching full swing as summer heats up, the women of New York are facing the come-ons of construction workers, businessmen and the occasional 4-foot-tall man freestyling his love supreme.

At the very least, it's nice to know: The experience is universal.
"You could be wearing a paper bag and still get street harassed," says 26-year-old Emily May, one of the founders of Holla Back NYC, an organization dedicated to fighting back against catcalling. "A lot of women like to turn around and say, 'Would you ever do that to your daughter or to your mother?'"

Started in September 2005, hollabacknyc.com is dedicated to catching pesky catcallers in the act. How? With the click of a camera phone, women around the world are able to snap photos of street harassers and then share their personal stories online.

"We encourage women to use their street smarts," May says. "And if the situation seems dangerous, there's no benefit to taking it any further."
However, most of the time, she says, many guys just don't know any better.

"It can be a really effective response to confront them because it demonstrates to them that this is not OK," she says. "We want to give women a response to street harassment. It's an epidemic you have to take down bit by bit."
With the interest of educating fries-and-shake-loving men everywhere, here's our bit as The

Post presents the "best of the worst" catcalls from around the city.
And, men?
Next time you want to give a special shout-out, just remember dear old mom.

* And They Say Romance Is Dead

A guy on the street passed me and said, "Someone's getting laid tonight." I'm not sure if he was complimenting me or bragging. I'm sure someone somewhere was getting laid that night, but I was on my way to book club. Another guy said as he was passing me, "Hey cutie," then once he was behind me said, "I'd eat that ..." That's moving a little too fast for me. I was like, "Slow down, guy with a bag full of cans. If you don't cool it, this is not going to happen!"
- Amanda Melson, 31, Manhattan

* They Were "Spinal Tap" Fans, I'm Sure
I was walking toward a group of construction workers sitting on a bench, when they all started shouting out my score: "TEN! TEN! TEN!" As I walked by they ogled my butt and said in unison: "ELEVEN!"
- Kambri Crews, 36, Queens

* Yes, But What College Was It?
One morning, I was coming back from my run around Central Park. I walked by a deliveryman who was unloading stuff at the corner bodega. "Girl, you look fine," he said. "How much do you cost?" "What?" I said. "How much would it cost for me to get with you?" I was wearing running shorts and my college T-shirt. Apparently, though, I looked like a hooker.
- Cecelia, 30, Manhattan

* Wait Until He Gets to the Paper Towel You Bought
I go to the 94th Street Duane Reade, and it's raining. It's pouring outside. I'm buying dry cat food. "Miss, you need an umbrella?" says the Duane Reade cashier, and he wiggles his eyebrows like this is a sexy thing. "I've got an umbrella back at my apartment," I say. "Not like the umbrellas I've got here. I've got an umbrella that would be sooooo nice for you," he says. Then he asks me if I have a Duane Reade club card. "Yes I do," I say, and I fumble through my bag looking for it. "Oh yeah," he says. "I'll give you a Duane Reade club card all right. I'll give it to you all night long."
- Ginnie, 23, Queens

* And That's Just What They'll Tell Their Grandchildren, Too
A crowded F train pulls into the West Fourth Street stop, and a very attractive woman in a business suit steps in. Immediately, she catches the attention of a young gentleman who looks like Snoop Dogg and sounds like Busta. He cries out, "Damn, your booty fine!" and then proceeds to expound upon this thought, unleashing a veritable tidal wave of nonstop street poetry, describing every last detail of how fine her body was and just what he would do to it, given the chance. For five stops. Finally, at York Street, she casually rises, puts a finger to his lips and hushes him, slips her number into his hand and remarks, "You had me at, 'Damn, your booty fine.'" And with that, she disappears into the cool, Brooklyn night air. I like to think they're married now.
- Benari Poulten, 29, Manhattan

* I Wouldn't Mess With This Chick
It was a few years ago. I was uptown in Washington Heights, a block or so away from where I lived. I had heard one too many "Mira, mira, mira"s that day. There were three guys hanging outside the bodega when I was on my way to get a pack of cigarettes, and one of them was saying, "Hey mama, can I take you out tonight? You are beautiful, God bless you." Giving me the look up and down and eating me up with his eyes (gross). Fed up, I turned around and looked him in the eye and proceeded to ask him if he would "like to go back to my place and [bleep]?" The poor guy looked so surprised, and had no idea what to say. He and his friends all had slack jaws at this comment, and he was stuttering. I responded to the stuttering by saying, "That's what I thought." They never bothered me again and were much more pleasant the other times I saw them.
- Molly, 25, Manhattan

* This is What's Called "Reverse Psychology a Tu Madre"
I was walking down Prospect Park West last summer when these teenage boys lounging in front of a bodega hissed "Ay mami" and flicked their tongues out at me. Since I have fair skin and red hair, they assumed I couldn't understand them. Were they surprised when I wheeled around and said, "¡Si yo me parezco a su madre, su padre tiene suerte!" which means, "If I look like your mother, your father's a lucky man!"
To tell you they all stood there with their jaws gaping open does not even begin to do it justice. And then one of them smacked the one who did the catcalling on the head and said, "See, I told you she was Puerto Rican." Ha, snag!
- Michele Carlo, 46, Brooklyn

* Catcall No. 9
I'm Chinese, and I was walking down the street when this random white dude came up to me and said: "Hey pretty. I'll be your John if you will be my Yoko." As much as I appreciated the Beatles reference, I turned him down.
- Cathy, 20, Manhattan

* Someday This Is How The Mideast Crisis Will Be Solved
I was crossing Park Avenue when a guy wearing baggy jeans and a shirt stained with paint and plaster said: "Very nice ... sexy." So I turned to him and I said, "I'm actually fully aware of how much more powerful I am than you are, but nice try anyway," and I continued walking. He stopped. I stopped. And he smiled and exclaimed, "Damn, girl!" and high-fived me. He must have gotten it, too. I accepted his high-five and smiled back at him, and said, "Have a good day," and waved. He said, "You too, sweetie, you too."
- Livia Scott, 31, Queens

* We Represent the Lollipop Guild ...
Recently my sister and I were walking around the East Village at night when this 4-foot-tall, baggy-clothes-wearing guy came out of nowhere and began following us halfway up the block, continuing on about how he would take either one of us shorties cause he was easy like that. Yup, "easy like Sunday mornin', mmm shoot." After a few more "mmm shoots," "dangs" and "da'amns" he finally closed with, "Yo, check it out. I don't need to be the champ, I just want a shot at da title!" We actually turned around and shook his hand and thanked him for his time.
- Ali Jesinkey, 28, Brooklyn

* FYI, She's German, and She Looks It
I'm walking past a building site on the Upper West Side when one of the workers calls out "Hey Swiss Miss, come milk my udder!" (FYI, I'm German and look it!)
-Stephanie, 39, Manhattan

* The Best Community Watch Story Ever
While waiting outside a bodega late at night in the rain, a much older man circled my umbrella and gave a low whistle, saying, "Why you all by yourself? Come party with me! I got a bunch o' guys all havin' a good time!" I smiled and politely explained that I was waiting for my husband, at which point said husband walked out of the store and we headed home, only to run into the guy a block later at our building. Turns out we're next-door neighbors.
- Jennifer, 30, Manhattan

* Let's Call This the Anti-Catcall
Years ago, I was waiting for the subway with a friend, and some guy came up to us and was telling her how beautiful she was. I think he compared her to Audrey Hepburn, and then turned to me and said, "And you look like that person in those Richard Pryor movies." I'm thinking there must have been some hot woman in some of his films. And he says, "I know! Gene Wilder!" Ouch. Well, at least he's funny.
- Allison, 27, Brooklyn

* And Now He Has Some Idea What It's Like To Be Tom Cruise
During the blackout in August 2003, I was strolling around the West Village, arm-in-arm with my boyfriend at the time - who happened to be very good-looking. As we were walking down Charles Street, a group of gay guys were hanging out together on the stoop of a brownstone. Suddenly, one of them shined a flashlight at the two of us and yelled out: "Ooh, he's hot. Drop the bitch and make the switch!"
- Laura, 38, Manhattan
mandy.stadtmiller@nypost.com

NYC Speed Dating

What does the word Friend mean?

Can Men and Women be Friends?

I hung out with my friend Lisa last week and we got to talking about the topic of men and women being friends. Lisa said "You know, you should really add an option on the scorecards at the speed dating events for a friend category in addition to the yes/no."

I said, nope, been there, done that, and I almost had a riot on my hands. A year or so ago, I had added that option based on several user comments that one of my competitors offered it. After about a month, I removed the option because the men were furious.
At an event, a woman thought a guy was very "nice", but just was not interested in him romantically so she selected the friend option. The guy got his results, saw he matched with the woman as a friend, emailed her, and then got really annoyed that she did not want to go on a date. Guys just don't want to hear that "you are very nice, but just not for me."

That being said, Lisa confused me a little more (when it comes to understanding women, it is not very difficult to confuse me). She said that doesn't know after 5 minutes whether she wants to date someone, and that is why she wanted the friend option.
Wait a minute here! As far as I am concerned, the word friend means that you are very nice, and I think you are a great person, but there is no chance that we are going to date or get into anything romantic. According to Lisa, friend means that I want to get to know you a little better before deciding whether to date your or not.

Semantics issue? What do you think of when you hear the words, I want to be friends? Jay's definition or Lisa's? (Lisa is not your typical woman, she doesn't look at a guys shoes when meeting him and considers me a metrosexual, which is the furthest thing from the truth). So I really need some more opinions here.

By Jay Rosensweig- NYC Singles, Long Island Singles

Tips on How to Make a "Clean Break"

The following article comes from Tesh.com

Here’s the scenario. You break up with your boyfriend or girlfriend. But then you decide to ‘try again’ and get back together. Then you break up again. Then you get back together. Well, this vicious cycle isn’t good for either partner. Why? Because you’re both stuck in a relationship that makes neither of you happy. So here are some tips on how you can make a ‘clean break.’ These come from Dr. Les Parrott, author of the book Love Talk.

Use direct language. Saying something like ‘We should take a break’ gives the other person hope that the relationship could work out in the future. It may seem mean to say ‘I don’t want to see you anymore,’ but it’s even worse to give the other person false hope.

Tell them what’s wrong with you. When someone doesn’t want to let go, they’ll assume if they change, the break up doesn’t have to happen. So tell the other person whythe relationship won’t work. But make it about you. Say something like ‘I’m too lazy to be with a go-getter like you and I’m not going to change.’ This way, your partner won’t assume you’ll come back if they fix all their bad habits.

Don’t be friends! Planting the idea of friendship means you won’t make a clean break. Tell the person you both need to move on for good. Emotional divorce is crucial in break ups, and friendship won’t achieve that.

Don’t relapse! If you run into your old flame somewhere – and you’re tempted to kiss them – don’t do it! How can you resist? Think about what will happen after the kiss. You’ll probably get back together, and get into that vicious make up / break up cycle again. These negative thoughts will make kissing your ex less enticing. And avoiding these romance relapses will allow you and your old flame to move on and meet someone who truly makes you happy.

Speed Dating and Singles Events from Weekenddating.com- NYC, Long Island, Queens

What are Horoscopes, anyway? And what do they have to do with relationships?

What are Horoscopes, anyway? And what do they have to do with relationships?

Horoscopes are a description of the ‘energies’ that are most likely to be swirling around during the time period for which the horoscope is written. Are they accurate for everybody? No, not all of the time. That would be impossible. A horoscope that is written for the entire population born under one zodiac sign can only provide a theme for the month (or week, or year). While some people find that their horoscope applies to them some of the time, most of the time it is just describing the situations that may present themselves, and opportunities that are most likely to appear. Astrology becomes very personalized and is a much more accurate tool for personality analysis and prediction when a specific date, time, and location of birth are used to draw up a person’s unique Birth Chart.

Everything astrological can only be used for entertainment, and by people over eighteen years of age. The legal reason that every astrologer has to add this disclaimer to his or her work is because although there are thousands of years of research and practical use behind astrology, no one has ever been able to figure out why it works. Astrologers know that the positions of the planets in the sky at any given time will most likely correspond with a specific event on earth. But until the day comes when we find out exactly why astrology can be so uncanny and accurate, there are laws to protect consumers from seeking the advice of astrologers, psychics and the like, in place of counseling by a licensed medical or mental health professional. In short, astrology and horoscopes are supposed to be fun! They are supposed to be interesting, maybe a little mysterious, and they can be immensely entertaining. And the most common reason people seek out astrology and horoscopes is to find out what they can expect in love and relationships!

In twelve years of doing readings, I have noticed that most of the people who come to me for astrology and tarot readings are people who are seeking something in the way of love and partnership. They want to know about their partners, or when they will find a suitable partner, and what kind of partner is suitable for them. But the key will always be to have a good time with it, take it with a grain of salt, and see where the information leads you. I hope you enjoy these romance and partnership horoscopes that I have written for you, which are based on what the planets will be ‘doing’ in the month to come. They cover all kinds of partnerships, including romantic, social, friendship-oriented, and work relationships. After all, soul mates are everywhere. And if you have any questions about your personal birth horoscope, contact me, so that we can have some fun looking into what the stars say for you!

Vanessa Calderon is a registered nurse on hiatus. She currently practices astrology and reads tarot by phone, and in person in Great Neck, Long Island. She loves giving seminars and providing “psychic” entertainment. Her specialties are relationships, compatibility and career readings. She also practices Reiki energy work and teaches Reiki classes at the same facility where she does her readings.

For more information about Vanessa’s Seventh Sense Astrology, and the AFK Reiki Center, visit http://www.seventhsenseastrology.com/ .


Your Romance and Partnership Horoscope For June 2007from Vanessa Calderon (Seventh Sense Astrology)


ARIES (March 21 – April 19)
Your ruling planet, Mars, will remain in your sign for the entire month of June. Feeling frisky? Probably…and assertiveness is your ally. Aries are known for their energy and courage, so use yours wisely to get what you want this month. A beautiful triangle of planets in fire signs right now is working in your favor during the first half of the month, so smile and don’t be afraid to approach people you might want to get to know. During the final week of June you will be feeling the intensity of another triangle of planets, which could bring answers about emotional issues, and an enlightening moment, which answers questions about what you really want.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)
Your ruling planet, Venus, also happens to rule love and affection, which is why you are so cuddly and you have an eye for beauty. As Venus leaves the emotional sign of Cancer this month and moves into Leo, you notice the energy picks up on the dating scene and it’s time to get out there and do something you haven’t done in a while, or something that you have never tried. Interesting and spirited people can be found outside of your comfort zone, so get out there. At the very least, have fun watching other people entertain you with their antics and their contagious enthusiasm.

GEMINI (May 21 – June-21)
Happy birthday to all of you June Geminis! As the sun is crossing through your sign this month, it is tugging away at Jupiter, the planet of luck and expansion in such a way that takes you just where you always like to be: in the middle of a great conversation! If you go out and socialize, June will be the month to meet someone who is not only your intellectual equal, but who can teach you things you don’t already know (which isn’t much…). You should be meeting lots of interesting people, anyway, right through to next year, while Jupiter is moving through your “polar partner” sign, Sagittarius. “Learn, love, laugh” should be your motto.

CANCER (June 22 – July 23)
Venus is leaving your sign in the first week of June, Crabs, and Mercury has made his way in. This is an advantage to Cancereans because you are the emotional tides of the zodiac and when Mercury is placed in your sign, people tend to think more with their emotions than their heads. This is a language you can comfortably understand. Use temperance, however, so that you don’t communicate your emotions too impulsively, as Mars adds his fire to the mix up until the last week of the month. After that, you intuitively know all the right things to say.

LEO (July 23 – August 22)
You are normally the center of the party, Leo, but many Lions have been more reserved during the past year. Luckily the current dose of Jupiter and Mars at a lovely angle to your sign will make you feel more like getting out and enjoying yourself this summer. Venus in your sign in June has you looking your best. Oh, and that lucky Jupiter is going to stay in your house of dating and romance for quite a while. For the time being, focus on the social and networking aspect of your nature while the sun is in Gemini. At this time of year, you are likely to have opportunities to make some really great friends. The Venus factor we talked about earlier increases the likelihood that one of these new friends or contacts could lead to romance.

VIRGO (August 23 – Sept 22)
Uranus, the planet of surprises, has been slowly traveling through your solar house of partnerships over the last couple of years, no doubt leading you through some lessons about love, and other types of partnerships as well. That being said, the configuration of planets this June seem to be emphasizing career and issues at home, making you feel socially out of sync unless you make time for yourself to go out and live a little. It is times like these when you are really craving the stability that you need in your partnerships, so for now, look for company that has a more friendly, dependable tone to it. You appreciate your friends very much now and they seem to intuitively know what kind of scenery will cheer you up, and how to lighten the load.

LIBRA (Sept 23 - October 23)
Libra is the partnership sign, and since Venus has been in Cancer you have probably been feeling extra sentimental and gooey, maybe even to the point where you have been distracted at work. Venus is moving into Leo this month, which fires you up and gets you going again. This is especially exciting because you also have Mars, the planet of assertiveness and action, in your partnership house. This combination lightens the mood and urges you to take a more active role in several areas of your life. Try to steer clear of romance gossip at work, though, while Mercury, the planet of communication, opposes Pluto, the planet of secrets, in your career sector. Don’t be shocked if a secret crush gets revealed.

SCORPIO (October 24 – Nov 21)
You are in a groove that could lead you to find romance in places where money can be made, so keep an eye out for someone with whom you have received training, have done work with recently, or are working on a project with. Bosses and people in authority are also romantic prospects for you in June. We all know about Scorpio’s magnetic powers, and with Mercury currently tracking through your house of higher education and knowledge, and with the angle it is making to your ruling planet, you are even more apt to impress people this month with your knowledge, charm and wit. People will also be noticing the loving and romantic side of you while Venus crosses over your public point this month. Show off your softer side!

SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22 – Dec 21)
The first ten days of June are ripe for fruitful interactions with people you can totally relate to. If you meet too many of them, don’t worry, you have the opportunity to deepen a connection with a romantic prospect by the end of the month. It is the middle part of the month that will really tug on your heartstrings. You will be connecting with thoughts, people and cuisine from for off places, and will get the itch to travel. Sagittarius is the sign that is associated with foreign lands and foreign cultures, and you will notice these themes popping up this month more than usual. By the end of June, you will feel less dreamy and more attached to reality, which will give you the insight to determine if an attractive person you met recently is really worth your continued attention.

CAPRICORN (Dec 22 – January 19 )
Are people more emotional this month, Capricorn, and are you comfortable with it? You are very good at categorizing things, so if people seem to be less able to communicate efficiently, figure out a way to deal with it. Mercury is in your opposite sign, in your solar partnership house, and it will go retrograde in June. This means that you will have to hold on a bit longer until emotions come out of the clouds and back to earth. Be sensitive to partners, or even old flames who rehash old subjects and issues you thought were settled. Practical as you are, trust your intuition, because you can use it toward the end of the month to get answers to any questions you have about partnerships, romance and love. You will be in tune with what is in your best interest.

AQUARIUS (Jan 20 – Feb 18)
Your sectors of self-identity, and partnerships, have been going through a cosmic overhaul over the past year and will continue to do so for a while. The sun is passing through your romance and dating house in June, however, so that means that the fun side of your romantic life is highlighted, instead of the serious side. To add to the happy news, Venus will be entering your solar partnership house. It is going to make a nice angle to lucky Jupiter in your sector of friends, hopes and wishes. Optimism is your best friend right now. Get out and enjoy your social activities, for you are in a position to find friends and love in the same places. You can go back to contemplating life and love later on.

PISCES (Feb 19 – March 20)
Is it possible to find love (or at least, intense like), through a family member, or at a family function? Yes, and you might have that opportunity in June. This is especially true during the first week, before Venus moves out of your romance sector, and into the sector where you provide service to your fellow man. You are the compassionate type, but be sure that you strive for equality in your partnerships this month, when the urge to fall for someone who needs your help might be strong. Toward the end of the month, a feeling you had about someone you know through work turns out to be true, or an issue rears it’s head and everyone has no choice than but to acknowledge that you were right.

Some no no's for guys

I was talking with a female friend this week about a few of her recent dating experiences and it seemed like a good thing to share with you all.

*Date with Bobby- started out very good and she seemed to really enjoy his company until.....the end of the night when the check came after dinner. Bobby complained about how much the bill was and asked her to pay for half. Bobby is not getting a second date. My friend said "he picked the place and if it was too expensive, we should not have gone there."

*Date with Charlie- also started out great and everything flowed nicely over dinner. "I really liked him.....until the end of the night when he really blew it. After dinner we left the restaurant and it was pretty late. His car was parked out in front and mine was way in the back. He didn't offer to walk me to my car! It was late, dark and nobody was around." As far as a second date goes, Charlie may still get a second date. My friend is a little hesitant but liked him enough to give it another chance.

Breaking up by Text Message or Email

I was chatting with a young lady about her recent date and the conversation started out very positive. "Oh, he was great. We went out to dinner and had a fantastic time. I was looking forward to seeing him again, but then I got an email the next day. He said he enjoyed our date, but did not feel any chemistry. Oh well."

So what do you think about breaking up with someone via text or email? Has it happened to you? Have you done it to someone else?

If a Guy Does Something you Don't Understand, Blame it on his Brain(From Tesh.com)

If a Guy Does Something you Don't Understand, Blame it on his Brain(From Tesh.com)

Ladies, if your guy ever does something you just don’t understand, blame it on his brain. After all, there are big differences between the male and female brain that can explain why men and women feel, think, and act so differently. So take the advice of Netscape .com’s relationship expert Laura Snyder and forgive him when he behaves in one of these typically male ways:

Like when he can’t talk about his feelings. One scientific theory claims that men have a smaller cluster of nerves in the area that bridges the left brain, which controls language, and the right brain, which controls feelings. Since women have a bigger bridge, they can put emotions into words quickly, while guys struggle.

Another thing to blame on the male brain: he doesn’t understand what annoys you. Men tend to compartmentalize things. So to him, sweet-talking the waitress has nothing to do with his feelings for you. He doesn’t get it when something that’s meaningless to him makes you mad.
Also, he doesn’t notice details. Since a man’s brain takes in less sensory detail, he’s not as aware of his environment. That could explain why he doesn’t notice that you cut your hair or lost five pounds.

And one more male behavior you can blame on the brain: he never says “I Love You.” On top of lacking communication skills, testosterone makes him more likely to show his feelings through gifts or favors, like opening the door or fixing your car. For guys, actions really do speak louder than words.

Too Much, Too Soon, Too Fast

Too Much, Too soon, Too Fast?
Chuck is a very "nice guy" (ut oh, the killer words) who wants to be in a serious relationship. He meets Mary at an event and they really seem to hit it off. Afterwards, they are dancing a little and I see them start to kiss. Ok, so far, so good, right? I hear through the grape vine that they are going out on a date soon. Hmm, maybe this will be another good success story?

A few weeks later, I ran into Mary and asked how things were going with Chuck. "Not so good, actually we don't speak any more." What happened, it looked like you both were really into each other? "He just came on too strong, calling me five times a day, texting me constantly. When I told him I would call him back, he called me back a few hours later, not giving me the chance."

Everybody says they hate the games, and I certainly do not condone them either. However, a little mystery is not a bad thing. Showing all of your cards too soon, and coming on too strong can turn a lot of people off.

What do you think?

What do you do when your upstairs neighbors are having sex?

Ok, well this actually was not supposed to be in this weeks newsletter, but my upstairs neighbors are at it again while I am working on this, so why not. Yes, I admit at first it was kind of interesting, but now it is getting to the point of being seriously annoying and actually destructive.

The moaning I can handle, its the shaking of the ceiling which has actually started to crack, that is the problem. Being woken up to this at 6AM on Sunday morning also is not much fun. The cats must think we live in California, because they think it must be an earthquake and run under the bed.

Hmm, maybe it just comes with the territory of living in an apartment and its time to find a gal and move out to the Island?
Anyone else encountered something similar and did you say anything to your neighbors?

Why men do not get good responses from personal ads.

Personal Ads: A few months ago, I put up a profile on a few personal ad sites. Why? Two reasons; one because I am also single (ok, no comments from the peanut gallery on that one) and secondly for a little competitive intelligence.

Disclaimer: Yes, speed dating does work. 40+ happily engaged couples so far :) 30+ marriages
My experience
So I am reading these great profiles from women who say they want a genuine guy, down to earth, can be a little crazy, a little sarcastic, tired of the bar scene, likes animals, professional etc. So far so good. Next they say they want someone between 30-40 living within 25 miles from them, wants kids, and is 5 foot 8 or taller. Hmm, I’m batting 1000% so off comes my response. A few days go by, but no reply. Guys, does this sound familiar?

I did eventually get some replies, but it was a small percentage compared to the number of emails I sent. So my mission was to better understand why it was so difficult to get a response. I enlisted the help of my friend Michelle and several other women asking what they look for in a response and what the source of the problem was.

Summary of the problem
If a woman has a nice picture up on a high traffic personal ad website, she can get 20-50 responses a day. If she goes away for the weekend and hasn’t checked her mail in a few days, she may have dozens or more emails/winks/flirts etc in the inbox. So you are one of the guys who sent her a response. You read her profile from top to bottom and really thought you had some things in common and genuinely wanted to get to know her better. Guess what? Your response is buried within the dozens of responses she has to look through. By the time your email is read, whatever you wrote is diluted. Think about it, you are 1 response in 50. She may glance at your response and profile quickly and then move on to the other replies. Now if she only had a few replies a day, your reply may stand out.

The women we spoke with confirmed that one of the problems is the sheer volume of emails they get. Many indicate that it is quite obvious that the man didn’t even read her profile but responded anyway. “I said I wanted a guy who has no children and is between 35-45. Why is a man 58 years old, divorced with two kids wasting my time?” This is a key statement. I am not saying all guys do it, but many men respond to everyone without even reading a woman’s profile. They just go from profile to profile, copy and paste the same message, or send a wink/flirt. This clutters up the woman’s inbox and dilutes the responses she may have received from “genuine guys”.

So what is the answer? Well this may not be the total solution, but it could be a step in the right direction. I asked my friend Michelle to modify her profile slightly and include somewhere in the text that anyone responding should make the subject line read “Ciao Bella.” When she would go to her inbox and find 30 replies, she could go right to the ones with this subject line since these were the guys who really did read her profile. Michelle continued to receive dozens of emails and winks, the majority of which did not have the term “Ciao Bella” in the subject line. When someone did have the correct subject line, they were given top priority. Next week I will share what Michelle and other women look for in the profile and what makes them decide whether to respond or not.

What women look for in personal ads

Last week I reported about my experiences with personal ads and why it is difficult for men to get responses. Some ideas were provided to the ladies about how to sift through the emails you get. As part of my research, I went directly to the source and asked women what they look for in personal ads. Have you ever heard the saying "Men love with their eyes, Women love with their ears"?. Well not in the case of personal ads. Here is what the ladies had to say word for word:

Jessica:
The picture is always the first thing I look at but for no other reason that its most visible and bigger than the text. The profile is huge. One of my ways to eliminate is very bad grammer. If a man can't spell to well or doesn't use his words correctly Uh OH. Now I know not everyone can type so it has to be an extreme. I also stay far away from men who want a younger ( a lot younger) women. It's not right : )
I love a sense of humor in the text but I also love when they mention their family & friends. What's also huge is men who don't want a women who has a child/children. Do they know what era we live in? Do they have any idea what the divorce rate is? It may be harder to get together at times but a real man will take it with a grain of salt and if the lady is worth it........Older men love to wink or write when they are a lot older than what you are looking for. Hello people there is an age area we fill out for a reason. Oh and there are men who you don't answer ever and they keep writing and then show their annoyance in an email. These guys scare me. If you don't get an answer don't bother. This isn't a perfect world and no one likes rejection. It may be nice to send something like no thanks but not responding should be assumed that is was a "no thanks". The silent rejection/way isn't so bad is it? It happens to me and I don't get crazy over it. And, TIME come on I can't go on this damn machine everyday, I work, I go to school and I raise my son. Sure I want to meet the right person but if your looking everyday its easier to feel less fulfilled.

Sometimes this is too much work, what did his profile say again, etc, etc. Jon, Rich, Bob ??? Mama Mia. Whatever happened to the silent flirting when you see someone your attracted to. If only I would be so lucky. I hope this helps.


Stephanie:
It is CRAZY on here. I get so much mail I dont have enough time in the day to answer it all and I DO try to respond if I have interest or not in the person. Most times not......

When I get mail, I most definitely look at pic first. Most I am not attracted to. If I AM attracted to someone - I then look at location, then HEIGHT AND WEIGHT, then honestly what they do for a living.....by now I have most likely declined them. HAHAHAHAHA.


Heidi
First off let me say good luck with your column.... my response may may/not shed some light but here it is. Yes, I do get overwhelmed with emails/winks. I am by no means, complaining but nevertheless it is impossible to respond to all. Those who clearly do not read/respond to my profile generally do not get a response. ie. I say I'm looking to meet someone with 'no children' they have children (they get no response... typically). There of couse are many other reasons. One other tidbit I will share is that when I talk to someone who catches my interest I usually am not responding to others... even seemingly "perfect" for me others. And finally the last thing I will share is that many men on here simply can't take no for an answer... perhaps it's a bigger bruise to their ego? Whatever the reason aall to many feel they must re-respond with "but why?" and I don't feel like answering "but why" men tell you they hate the "no response" but I am not a fan of the 'but why' and I'd rather ignore then be mean.

Kim
Yes, I get a lot of responses. The first thing I look at is the email if one is sent, then the pics, then the profile. If there isn't any physical attraction then what's the point. Then I look at a few key areas: religion, age, education, and if they are allergic to cats, as I have 2. I am not on here to mess around, and I know the few areas that I am not willing to compromise on. If no email is sent then I might not read the profile if some of these key areas aren't in line with my wish list. I guess I am a little picky, but I didn't subscribe just for fun.

The Bronx Tale Test

New York Speed Dating

Dating can be a lot of fun, but can also be extremely frustrating. It is that whole getting to know you phase, where you are trying to figure out more about the other person. Will this just be a friend? a lover? Or maybe relationship material? The problem is that most people are going to be on their best behavior at the beginning and it can be difficult to get to know someone’s true colors. That’s what always made me think of Chazz Palmentieri's movie “The Bronx Tale.”

In the movie, Sonny (the gangster) is teaching one of the neighborhood teens about women. He said:

"Alright, listen to me. You pull up right where she lives, right? Before you get outta the car, you lock both doors. Then, get outta the car, you walk over to her. You bring her over to the car. Dig out the key, put it in the lock and open the door for her. Then you let her get in. Then you close the door. Then you walk around the back of the car and look through the rear window. If she doesn't reach over and lift up that button so that you can get in: dump her."

"Just like that?"

"Listen to me, kid. If she doesn't reach over and lift up that button so that you can get in, that means she's a selfish broad and all you're seeing is the tip of the iceberg. You dump her and you dump her fast."

Ok, I am not saying that this should be the only criteria to determine if you want to continue dating someone. However, it could be another contributing factor to help you make up your mind. I remember going out for a great dinner with a woman a few months back at “Houston’s” by Roosevelt Field. Everything was perfect. The food was great, and the conversation flowed. She thanked me for dinner as we walked back to my car and it began to rain. I opened her car door, let her in, and walked around the back of the car to my door. No movement from the inside. I started fumbling with my keys because they were wet, but still nothing from the inside. I finally let myself in and took her home. Since we had such a good time at dinner, I didn’t let the fact that she failed the “Bronx Tale” stop me from going on another date with her, but it did put me on alert. We went out once more after that night, but it was our last date. Hmm, maybe there is something to this “test” after all.

That’s it for now. Stay tuned for our next article that will recap our double speed dating event where there were two women at each table for every man.

Two Women for one Man- Part II

Part II- The event

Our first Double speed dating event was held in July, 2004. From 6:45 PM- 7:30PM, we had a pre-event for ladies only with a complimentary buffett sponsored by Island Plastic Surgery. Initially I thought a lot of women would be coming in pairs, but surprisingly about 70% of the female participants came alone. I was pretty amazed to see how easily the ladies bonded. Each time a new single woman arrived, she was immediately introduced to group and made to feel welcome.

From 7:30 to 8 pm, the men started to arrive. The women had already been eating and were sitting at tables. They had already paired up themselves, and were making new friends. Each man was seated with a pair of women and the night began. Instead of our normal 4 or 5 minutes per date, the time was increased to 6 or 7 minutes per double date. By the end of the evening we had completed approximately 20 rounds and it was time for the feedback. I knew this event was not for everyone, so was concerned about what I was about to hear.

Big surprise! I got a few bits of constructive criticism, but none of these comments came from women. While some men loved the fact that they got to talk to two women at once, a few of the guys found it a bit distracting. The comments pretty much revolved around how to handle the situation where they were interested in one woman at the table, but not the other. The comments from women were overwhelmingly positive. A few ladies who expressed hesitation about signing up for the event said they were pleasantly surprised and were very happy they attended. Not only did they meet several eligible men, but they also made several new female friends.

On Friday, October 1st, 2004, we will host a Double speed dating event at Jillian’s in Farmingdale for Men ages 40-56 and Women 38-53. 100% of the profits from this event, and every Long Island speed dating event held in September 2004 will be donated to the LI911 Memorial Fund, a project created by the Long Island Association of Retired New York City Firefighters to honor the nearly 400 Long Islanders who died in the terrorist attacks.

Two Women for One Man- Part 1

Part I

Two women, and one man. No, it’s not at all what you may be thinking so get your mind out of the gutter, lol. This was simply a creative solution meant to address a shortage of single men in their 40’s and 50’s. Here is the story:

When Long Island Speed Dating (currently known as WeekendDating.com) was started, I thought the only market was for the 25-35 year old crowd. Wow, was I wrong! Some of our best events are for the 40’s and 50’s age bracket. Just one problem! Where did all the single guys in the 46-56 age range go? Don’t get me wrong, they do exist, but just not nearly as much as women in a similar age range. I can honestly say we have to turn down 40-60 women per event for this age category in order to ensure we have an equal male/female ratio. Women have complained that they have been waiting more than 6 months to come to an event.

As with all new event ideas, the suggestion was potsed to the mailing list. As to be expected, the men were all for it. Hey, why not, they get to meet twice as many women. I was a little nervous about what the women would say, but to my pleasant surprise, the overwhelming majority thought it was a great idea. Here is an actual comment:

”Hi, I think the idea of having two women at one table is terrific!
My friend and I have been trying to get into a session for women between 38 and 53 and have been unable to do so. I think in a way we were relieved since we are very nervous about doing this...Yet now being able to do it together would be a great way to start.”

Hmm, well I said the overwhelming majority were positive, but not all. Since every story has two sides, here is my favorite comment from Ms. L. who said

“Your double speed dating is one of the worst ideas I have heard in a long time. Why not just line up the ducks and have a carnival shooting match where the guns outnumber the ducks? While others may like your new idea, please put me down as a vehement "no".

Part II- The event

Our first Double speed dating event was held in July, 2004. From 6:45 PM- 7:30PM, we had a pre-event for ladies only with a complimentary buffett sponsored by Island Plastic Surgery. Initially I thought a lot of women would be coming in pairs, but surprisingly about 70% of the female participants came alone. I was pretty amazed to see how easily the ladies bonded. Each time a new single woman arrived, she was immediately introduced to group and made to feel welcome.

From 7:30 to 8 pm, the men started to arrive. The women had already been eating and were sitting at tables. They had already paired up themselves, and were making new friends. Each man was seated with a pair of women and the night began. Instead of our normal 4 or 5 minutes per date, the time was increased to 6 or 7 minutes per double date. By the end of the evening we had completed approximately 20 rounds and it was time for the feedback. I knew this event was not for everyone, so was concerned about what I was about to hear.

Big surprise! I got a few bits of constructive criticism, but none of these comments came from women. While some men loved the fact that they got to talk to two women at once, a few of the guys found it a bit distracting. The comments pretty much revolved around how to handle the situation where they were interested in one woman at the table, but not the other. The comments from women were overwhelmingly positive. A few ladies who expressed hesitation about signing up for the event said they were pleasantly surprised and were very happy they attended. Not only did they meet several eligible men, but they also made several new female friends.

On Friday, October 1st, 2004, we will host a Double speed dating event at Jillian’s in Farmingdale for Men ages 40-56 and Women 38-53. 100% of the profits from this event, and every Long Island speed dating event held in September 2004 will be donated to the LI911 Memorial Fund, a project created by the Long Island Association of Retired New York City Firefighters to honor the nearly 400 Long Islanders who died in the terrorist attacks.

Singles: Men vs. Women

Long Island Speed Dating, Long Island Dating, Long Island Single.

Why is so difficult to find the right one for you. For starters, men have a hard time figuring out women, and vice versa. We are just so different with the way we view things. The following are some funny differences highlighted by Matt Groening

NEWS BULLETIN - Men and women are NOT alike. Sure, you thought you already knew that. But now we have proof! After countless hours of surveys and studies on the following topics, these facts have emerged:

Maturity:
Women mature much faster than men. Most 17-year-old females can function as adults. Most 17-year-old males are still trading baseball cards and giving each other wedgies after gym class. This is why high school romances rarely work.

Hats:
Women look good in hats; men look like dinks.

Handwriting:
To their credit, men do not decorate their penmanship. They just chicken-scratch. Women use scented, colored stationary and they dot their "i's" with circles and hearts. Women use ridiculously large loops in their "p's" and "g's". It is a royal pain to read a note from a woman. Even when she's dumping you, she'll put a smiley face at the end of the note.

Bathrooms:
A man has at most six items in his bathroom - a toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in a typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

Groceries:
A woman makes a list of things she needs and then goes to the store and buys these things. A man waits till the only items left in his fridge are half a lemon and something turning green. Then he goes grocery shopping. He buys everything that looks good. By the time a man reaches the checkout counter, his cart is packed tighter that the Clampett's car on Beverly Hillbillies. Of course, this will not stop him from going to the 10-items-or-less lane.

Going out:
When a man says he is ready to go out, it means he is ready to go out. When a woman says she is ready to go out, it means she WILL be ready to go out, as soon as she finds her other earring, finishes putting on her makeup...

Sex:
Women prefer 30 - 45 minutes of foreplay. Men prefer 30 - 45 seconds of foreplay. Men consider driving back to her place as part of the foreplay.

White Tube Socks and Black Shoes!

If you are a guy who wears white tube socks with black shoes, chances are you are still single. Well at least that’s what my female friends tell me.

As described in prior articles, Men and Women are very different. Something very minor to a man can be such a major issue to a woman that she will not give him the time of day. I spoke at length with my friend Lauren who shared some of her insights on no-no's guys can make when trying to get to know her.

*White tube socks do NOT go with black shoes. Buy some dress socks, or at least black tube socks.

*Tapered Leg Pant leg issue- Wear straight leg, wide leg, or boot cut pants/jeans. Don't wear tapered leg style. These make you look like you are stuck in the 80’s. My friend Samantha calls these "ankle suckers".

* Have some pride in your appearance. Don’t go out all wrinkled or look like you just came from the gym.

*Get a good wallet, one that is not all ripped up. No velcro.

*If you have a hairy chest, keep it under wraps. The whole world does not need to see it.

*Have breath mints or gum. Their is nothing worse than talking to a guy with bad breath.

*Don’t be looking at other women while on a first date.

*Do not stare at a woman’s chest constantly.

*Compliment, but don’t over do it.

*Don’t talk about politics or religion on a first date.

*Don’t wear sneakers on the first date; unless you have discussed it before and it is date appropriate (e.g. hiking or pumpkin picking).

*No hats- especially sideways.

*Do not answer your cell phone on a date, unless it is an emergency call. It’s rude. It should be off or on vibrate.

* No flashing the cash. If the guy is offering to pay, that’s great, but don’t wip out a wad of money to make it seem like your all that.

*Try not to talk about ex’s on a date.

*Don’t talk about yourself too much. Try to ask questions to get to know the other person.

*Offer to pay on the first date. Don’t go dutch on a cup of coffee. It evens out over time.

*Do not be rude to the waitress and leave a bad tip.

*Make sure your car is clean inside.

*Make sure your seat belt works

*When you put the radio on, ask your date what kind of music she likes.

Feel free to email me back with your comments.

Does age matter when it comes to dating?

To follow up on our last article titled “Older Women, Younger Men” we interviewed several men and women who attended our Long Island Singles events. The goal was to better understand why the majority of men want to date younger women, while the growing trend is that older women would prefer to date younger men. We had taken a poll a few months back and found that 68% of women surveyed said they would be interested in dating a younger man, however 65% of the men said they would not be interested in dating an older woman. The question is why???

What the guys said
The number one answer given by Men between the ages of 34-47 was that they still wanted to have children and would be concerned that an older woman may have less child bearing years left. This is despite the fact, that many women have children in their 40’s and 50’s.

The second most common response from the guys is that dating a younger woman made them feel younger themselves.

Younger men between 25 and 33 were more open to dating an older woman and did not raise the children issue.

What the women said
The ladies between 40 and 55 had a different take on the subject. They were more interested in dating a younger man because they “take care of themselves and are in better shape than guys my own age”, said Claire, a 47 year old woman from Long Island. “Older guys don’t have enough energy to keep up with me. I like to be on the go, and seem to have more in common with a younger man.”

The ladies between the ages of 25 and 40 were more divided on the topic. Most said that age shouldn’t matter at all and that it all depends on the connection and the maturity level. Most of the women in this bracket did say they were used to dating older men because women mature much faster then men.

Pick up artists do exist

By Jay Rosensweig, Weekenddating.com

So did you see the movie Hitch a few years ago? It was pretty funny and hit close to home for me since the character went to something that almost looked like one of my
long island speed dating events. In a nutshell, Will Smith played a professional pick up artist who was hired by men to learn how to pick up women.

Fiction right? Wrong!!! A few months ago I received an email from a guy who claimed to be a professional pick up artist. Sam claimed he could really help all the Long Island singles on my mailing list. Those of you that know me, hopefully can tell I would not recommend anything that I did not believe in myself. So I went to meet this guy for a few hours and left the meeting feeling this was all a bunch of BS. Then someone suggested I read the book, The Game, written by Neil Strauss. It is the story of a plain little "nerdy guy" who infiltrated the secret society of pick up artists and in the process transformed himself into one of the most famous pick up artists of all time.

It was a fascinating read and some of techniques discussed were the same techniques the pick up artist I went to meet was trying to demonstrate. Maybe this guy really knew his stuff, but I just wasn't crazy about his style?

So Neil Strauss, a skinny little nothing guy transformed himself into one of the greatest pick up artists of all time. How? He learned from the best pick up artists in the world adopting many of their methods. One such method was reported as the "Mystery Method" mystery method developed by Mystery and another described as "Cocky Funny" developed by David DeAngelo.

So I decided to conduct some more research and downloaded the e-books by both David DeAngelo (Double your Dating) and Mystery (The Venetian Arts Handbook). Of the two, I preferred the book by Mystery covering the "Mystery Method". He covered a lot of fascinating theory about understanding women, how to approach them, why they have protective shields, and much more. A few weeks back I included the Gender Box (Gender Machine), and this book really drives this point home. Men are relatively easy to figure out as compared to women. We have a very simple on off switch. Women have many more "attraction switches" as described in the Mystery Method. So although I have not finished reading the entire book I really did find some of the materials quite useful.

Guys who know just how difficult the Long Island dating scene can be may also benefit from the book.

How to choose the right singles event

If you visit the LongIsland.com Singles Events listings or look in Tuesdays Newsday, you will see that you have quite a few choices with respect to choosing a singles event. Unfortunately all singles events are not the same and it really comes down to the organizer of the event. Some have your best interest at heart, and others are just looking to make a quick dollar and do not put any time or effort into putting on a quality event. Here are some guidelines to selecting a speed dating company, but many of the criteria can be applied to general singles events as well.


Does the company advertise more than one age group for the same night?
This is a little trick that SOME (not all) companies play. They advertise two different age groups for the same night (e.g. ages 41-51 and 52-62), so you are led to believe two different events are taking place. You call up the organizer who says, yes we have 20 men and 21 women attending. Wow! this company must be good since they have that many people. Beware, because this may be a trick. Remember, two different age groups were advertised (41-51 and 52-62), but their is only one event taking place and the organizer is mixing everyone together. So the actual age group for the night is 41-62. You may be meeting 20 people that night, but the age variance is HUGE. Sometimes these groups are not intentionally trying to mislead you, it is just that they could not get enough people for both groups, so to make it seem like you are meeting enough people, they mix the groups together. When you see two age groups advertised for the same time on the same night, call the organizer and make sure that you get a crystal clear response that the age groups will not be mixed together.


NO REFUNDS!: What does it say about a company who has these words on their website? Uh Hello, can you say they must have had many complaints. If an event is poorly run and you do not get your money's worth, you certainly should get a refund or be compensated fairly. Be wary of an organization who will not stand behind their service and do the right thing if an event goes poorly for whatever reason.


*Does the organizer adhere to the age groups posted or do they have a policy of "If you don't tell, we wont tell." Their is nothing worse than signing up for an event only to find that the people attending are way over or under the age groups posted. That is false advertising. On the other hand, if you are looking to date outside your age group, a company that is not a stickler on the age groups may be an enticing option for you. Proof of age is required at WeekendDating.com events.


Do you have to enter in your own selections after the speed dating event? A night of speed dating can be very enjoyable, but also a little bit exhausting. Some companies require you to go home and enter in your own selections after the event. Other companies such as WeekendDating.com send the matches to you and do all the work. You may be saying Big Deal? Well it is a big deal since if you have to enter in your own selections, you may have to wait days to get your results or may not get accurate results at all. Why? What happens if you go home after the event and do your homework by entering your selections, but Jennifer waits a few days before doing hers? During those few days, you may be left waiting for the results to come in. What if Jennifer does not enter in the matches at all. Maybe she lost the paper, dog ate it, etc. You are left thinking that you really did not match, when in fact that may not be the case.


When do you receive your matches? At our events, you receive your matches the next morning, many times within hours after the event. Some other companies also do a good job and send you the matches the next day. Others require you to wait 48 hours or more because they force you to enter in your own matches and can not start sending results until giving people a chance to input selections. Another company only provides the results to the men and not the women. Before making a reservation, find out how long you have to wait before getting your matches.


Do you receive one way matches, meaning if someone picked you, but you didn't pick them, do you still find out? It can sometimes be overwhelming meeting a lot of people very fast, and you may change your mind. WeekendDating.com gives you one way matches as do a few other companies. Other groups do not. If this is an important feature, find out if the singles group provides you with one way matches.


Do you get to meet EVERYONE at the event? Some companies such as Weekenddating.com structure the event so that you meet everyone who attends. However at other events, you only get to meet some of the attendees, but are encouraged to meet the others during a break period or afterwards. That can still be a little awkward.


Does the company require pre-payment for the events? This is KEY. Ensuring an equal gender balance is no easy task. Although it is nice to just be able to show up and pay at the door, this system just does not work and consistently leads to a gender imbalance.


When are the events held?Our events are only held on Friday, Saturday, or Sunday. Most other groups have events mid-week. Choose a company that has events during times that fit your schedule.


How long is each date? I have seen everywhere from 3 minutes to 10 minutes, all depending on the philosophy of the company running the event. Our philosophy is to have you meet more people (no more than 20) for less time (usually 5 minutes). If you have an initial connection with someone, or are not sure after the 5 minutes, you can get to know the person afterwards or through email, but that important ice breaker has already taken place. Dating is a numbers game. Other groups have you meet 7 or 8 people for 7 or 8 minutes each, so you get a little more time with each person, but do not get to meet everyone. For some people, that works just fine and you should go with a group that uses that system.


How long has the company been in business?I am not saying that you should not give the new kid on a block a chance, but just be careful. The average company that hosts speed dating events is around for about 3 months. Try to find out if the hosting company is brand new, or has a history of canceling events because of a poor turnout.


Food or any extras included? Some event organizers do include food at the events and others do not. If that is something important to you, find out if anything is included.


Does the company have an updated website with a phone number to call should you have any questions? If there is not an easy way to get a live person on the phone should you have a question or problem, you may want to stay away. When you visit the website (if their is one), the events should be relatively current and not list parties from months ago.

Rich Guys and Hot Women

I have made it a policy not to write about specific competitors by name, but today is an exception.

Have you heard about the recent event put on by Pocket Change and Cupid.com in Manhattan. It was a speed dating event for Rich Guys & Hot Girls. According to Forbes and several other publications, just to be considered men needed to make $200,000 - $500,000 or more depending on the age of the guy. If selected, the attendance fee was $500.

Women were judged by looks alone and if selected had to pay $50.

Please click here to read the article from Forbes or click here to read the article from the Associated Press.

Personally speaking, I think the event is a terrible idea and sends the wrong message. However this is America, and everyone is entitled to their opinion.

Places to go on a first date

What are some great places to go on a first date?

Walk around Naked

Dear Jay:

I was hoping you can ask your readers this question. "Do women also walk around naked in the locker room at the gym?" I just don't get it. I go to the gym, head to the locker room to change, and there is always at least one naked guy who thinks he is in his home bathroom.

I understand if you are changing, but this goes way beyond. These guys are talking on the cell phones, or blow drying their hair, or having a conversation with some other guy, or shaving, all while buck naked.

No, I am not homo-phobic, but what would be so wrong with these guys wrapping a towel around themselves. I don't need to see there private parts!

I have always wondered if the same goes on in the women's locker room.

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