Monday, June 18, 2007

What does the word Friend mean?

Can Men and Women be Friends?
I hung out with my friend Lisa last week and we got to talking about the topic of men and women being friends. Lisa said "You know, you should really add an option on the scorecards at the speed dating events for a friend category in addition to the yes/no."

I said, nope, been there, done that, and I almost had a riot on my hands. A year or so ago, I had added that option based on several user comments that one of my competitors offered it. After about a month, I removed the option because the men were furious.
At an event, a woman thought a guy was very "nice", but just was not interested in him romantically so she selected the friend option. The guy got his results, saw he matched with the woman as a friend, emailed her, and then got really annoyed that she did not want to go on a date. Guys just don't want to hear that "you are very nice, but just not for me."

That being said, Lisa confused me a little more (when it comes to understanding women, it is not very difficult to confuse me). She said that doesn't know after 5 minutes whether she wants to date someone, and that is why she wanted the friend option.
Wait a minute here! As far as I am concerned, the word friend means that you are very nice, and I think you are a great person, but there is no chance that we are going to date or get into anything romantic. According to Lisa, friend means that I want to get to know you a little better before deciding whether to date your or not.

Semantics issue? What do you think of when you hear the words, I want to be friends? Jay's definition or Lisa's? (Lisa is not your typical woman, she doesn't look at a guys shoes when meeting him and considers me a metrosexual, which is the furthest thing from the truth). So I really need some more opinions here.
By Jay Rosensweig- NYC Singles, Long Island Singles

Sunday, June 03, 2007

Tips on How to Make a "Clean Break"

The following article comes from

Here’s the scenario. You break up with your boyfriend or girlfriend. But then you decide to ‘try again’ and get back together. Then you break up again. Then you get back together. Well, this vicious cycle isn’t good for either partner. Why? Because you’re both stuck in a relationship that makes neither of you happy. So here are some tips on how you can make a ‘clean break.’ These come from Dr. Les Parrott, author of the book Love Talk.

Use direct language. Saying something like ‘We should take a break’ gives the other person hope that the relationship could work out in the future. It may seem mean to say ‘I don’t want to see you anymore,’ but it’s even worse to give the other person false hope.

Tell them what’s wrong with you. When someone doesn’t want to let go, they’ll assume if they change, the break up doesn’t have to happen. So tell the other person whythe relationship won’t work. But make it about you. Say something like ‘I’m too lazy to be with a go-getter like you and I’m not going to change.’ This way, your partner won’t assume you’ll come back if they fix all their bad habits.

Don’t be friends! Planting the idea of friendship means you won’t make a clean break. Tell the person you both need to move on for good. Emotional divorce is crucial in break ups, and friendship won’t achieve that.

Don’t relapse! If you run into your old flame somewhere – and you’re tempted to kiss them – don’t do it! How can you resist? Think about what will happen after the kiss. You’ll probably get back together, and get into that vicious make up / break up cycle again. These negative thoughts will make kissing your ex less enticing. And avoiding these romance relapses will allow you and your old flame to move on and meet someone who truly makes you happy.

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