Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Money and Dating

    Hey Melissa, how are you


'not bad


single and loving it


just dating


met a guy last night at the nautical mile


so who knows


thinking about moving to manhattan in sept


cool.  yeah, im not even dating, just working on
improving myself.  going to a tony robbins seminar in a few weeks


when its meant to happen, dating, it will happen


i know dating sucks but fun for the girl


fun for the girl b/c the guy has to do the
approach work


no cause the girl doesnt pay i meant lol


well, in many cases the girl doesnt pay, but not


oh i never pay


im so bad


most times i don't even bring money with me


thats terrible.  I dont mind paying for a woman
at the beginning, but if she expects it, its f'd up


nice if a woman at least offers to pay, even
though I wouldn’t take the money


really im so old fashioned i guess


i like tro be wined and dined


Men make more money then women, so they should pay

Sunday, July 20, 2008

How to Find Your Soulmate

How to Find Your Soulmate from http://www.wikihow.com/Find-Your-Soulmate

Many people feel that there's one person out there who can enrich your life in a way that no one else can. If this is true, how can you increase your chances of finding this person? And when you meet him or her, how will you know it's your soulmate?


Be the person you would love to love. Instead of waiting for your soulmate to appear, make yourself the person you would like to find. Work on becoming the unique individual you're looking for. Just as you would want your soulmate to be comfortable in their own skin, work on just being yourself. You'll stand a better chance of getting noticed if you are comfortable, confident, and happy to be you. Expressing your individuality is the closest you can come to advertising your soulmate potential. Not only will you stand out, but you'll also be doing things that are more likely to bring you closer to your soulmate, who probably has similar interests and goals.

Remember that your soulmate might not be what you expect. If there's only one person in the world who can be your soulmate, what are the chances that they'll live in your town, look like the people you grew up with, or even speak the same language? Your soulmate does not have to live in the same country or even the same hemisphere as you. Be willing to span the globe for your true love. Also, if you're expecting your soulmate to be love at first sight, you might never find what you're looking for. So keep an open mind. Part of the romance of having a soulmate is being pleasantly surprised.

Be patient. Fate doesn't work on a schedule. Your soulmate might cross your path when you're 8 or 80 years old. Don't be surprised either if there is a considerable age difference between the two of you. Yes, you might look forward to spending the majority of your life with your soulmate - perhaps buying a house, getting married, starting a family - but things do not always go as you plan. Your soulmate will color your world no matter how old you are, so don't rush into things, or else you might end up forcing the wrong person into the soulmate box, which will cause pain for everyone involved.

Accept people for who they are, not who you want them to be. When you've got all these fantasies flying around in your head about how wonderful and special your soulmate will be, it can be easy to look for those specific characteristics and features in anyone you get involved with. Unfortunately, unrealistic expectations can ruin a relationship, and might even chase your soulmate away. Whoever it is that you think might be your soulmate, appreciate their individuality and trust that if this person is your soulmate, they'll never need to change who they are for you, just like you'll never need to change who you are for them. That doesn't mean that you can't encourage them to try something new or help them to grow as people, just don't force things on them that they are not comfortable with.

Weather the storms. Contrary to what popular media would have you believe, meeting your soulmate doesn't guarantee "happily ever after." Things won't get easier when you find that special someone and in fact, they might get even harder. Ultimately, a soulmate is someone you can grow with, and the only way to grow together is to face challenges together. So if you put your heart and soul into a relationship, stick with it through the ups and downs, even when you question whether it's meant to be, and you might look back decades later and realize that you were with your soulmate all along. True love with your soulmate does not grow on its own: it must be cultivated and continually nurtured. So be lovable, and be willing to love like there is no tomorrow.

Monday, July 14, 2008

How to act at Speed Dating

By Art Malov from NewYorkDatingCoach.com
How to act at a Speed Dating Event

Speed dating always seemed an interesting phenomenon to me. The advertising I saw made it seem like when I sign up, I am getting a free date and that things couldn't go wrong. Women are already there and ready to be picked BY ME.

"WoW" I though to myself that's soooo good, almost too good to be true. So I signed up for my first speed dating event to see what this whole experience was about. On my first event, I went with guns blazing: charming, loud, funny, completely in my frame. Girls loved me…. Right? Well nope, I didn't get a single match. Apparently being charming, funny, and confident to EVERYONE wasn't the right message to send since I couldn't POSSIBLY connect with every single girl. Somehow, I was painting myself straight into the player category.

Let me tell you, it stings when you speed date and you feel as if you have connected with a number of women but then you find out a few days later that there are no matches waiting in your mailbox. It would have been easy for me to blame every woman that I met for not liking me or simply rationalize that I didn't like anyone at the event. I could also go into despair wondering if something is wrong with me. However, that's simply not true. Speed dating is a great way to meet new people. Everyone is single and women are actually paying to meet me! I just had to learn which pitfalls to avoid. Less blunders equal more matches which translates into more dates for me.

Since that event, I have made some changes to my entrance: lower key, not opening to everyone, kept confidence in check (over confident = arrogant) and matches started rolling in, in mass. So after attending too many speed dating events to figure out what works and what doesn't, I want to share with you what I found out, especially if you want to not only meet more women but also meet the women you want.

Before I get into details, I suggest arriving at the speed dating event a few minutes early. This way you'll have enough time to grab a drink and feel more comfortable, instead of arriving a few minutes late and having to scramble to get to the event.

#1 Mindset is what matters
We tend to spend a lot more time focusing on our clothing when going on a date, but much less time devoted to focusing on our own mindset. This is probably the biggest mistake we make because we are putting too much emphasis on dressing up and not enough emphasis on thinking positive and seeing ourselves as fun and attractive. However, women feel we are most attractive when we are confident.
So… you should be well groomed because, let's face it, in this day and age, it's practically mandatory but the next time you are getting ready for a speed date, take five minutes away from your grooming time and remind yourself that women are at the event for a reason. And that reason is to meet you: a fun, relaxed and confident man. To do this, think of some success that you have had in the past.
Remind yourself of how you have faced some challenges and how you have dealt with them. Get in a state of confidence by listening to music that puts you in a confident mood, give yourself a pep talk or do anything that you normally do to gain your assured personality. Remind yourself that you are a cool guy who values himself and the women will find you attractive and will want to know more about you.

#2 Don't be too serious
When we don't know somebody, it's our tendency to find out all of the facts about the other person first. Where do they live? Where do they work? Who are their second cousins? These questions are all good but don't begin a conversation with them. In fact, if they don't come up, it's even better. Have some fun while you are on a speed date. Talk about a recent travel or something curious that you've heard on the news.
One of the most underused conversational pieces are current events but for some odd reason, there is a stigma to talk about these boring events with friends and people you don't know. Reverse it. Before the event, pick up the newspaper, leaf through it, get some ideas and spot a few things that you find unusual or amusing. Here are some actual headlines: 'Woman Finds Unicorn Under Her Bed' or 'Wedding Ring Deflects A Gun Shot, Saves A Life'. Stay away from serious or political issues. Now you are ready for a speed date.
Speed dating is not synonymous with bore dating. So don't take the speed dating activity too seriously because this is not a job interview. Start with a joke and then you can touch up on other elements that interest you. Remember, you only have a few minutes to have a conversation. Being boring by asking tedious questions is not memorable… so have fun in the conversation instead.

#3 Don't try to impress
Most men are trying too hard to impress a woman. What they don't know is that when you try too hard to impress, you come off as needy. When you come off as needy, you are not going to find a match. Remember, she is there for a reason and that reason is you: a fun and interesting guy. Don't do all the talking in the conversation. Let your date ask you some questions in return. Don't brag about your great car or your well-paid job, unless it naturally comes up.
Removing the need to impress will do amazing things for your social and dating life. Arrive at each speed dating event with the attitude that you are there to have fun rather than anticipating the dread of the first date. It will make a world of difference. It's great when a conversation is going so well and you feel that you have a lot to say, and then you hear a signal to move on to meet the next woman. It's great because if you had so much fun and interesting things to talk about, you will want to see each other again. That's a match right there. There is no need to impress.
No matter what your experience is with meeting women, speed dating is an exciting way of meeting new people when you come to an event with a positive attitude. Look at the event as a fun experience rather than a serious activity. You may be surprised with how many more matches you get.

Art Malov

Get a Free Event from WeekendDating by visiting our sponsor www.NewYorkDatingCoach.com
Get a complimentary skills evaluation with New York Dating Coach Art Malov, NewYorkDatingCoach.com, 646-239-6037 within 30 days of any WeekendDating.com event you registered for and your credit card will be refunded in full (up to $40). You must tell Art about this promotion and he will call me to set up your refund. You are under no obligation to buy anything, just check out if coaching would be right for you. New York Dating Coach can help you overcome your difficulties with women and guide you to start meeting and dating women that you want. They also have a different program that caters to women which Art can explain.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Nice Guys vs. Bad Boys -Who do you love

Nice Guys vs. Bad Boys -
Who Do You Love?

By Christian Carter

You're about to spend the most useful 5 minutes you've ever spent on improving your future love life.

Read this...

There's something I want you to do that I KNOW will improve your natural ability to read into a man's behavior and his mind.

And learning to do this homework could mean the difference between being


Whoa... that's pretty intense - I'll tone it down for a sec and give you something to take your mind to off some of the potential negative stuff that you might be thinking about here...

Did you see the final Sex and the City episode where Carrie went to Paris with her lover?

Carrie's in Paris with her boyfriend and begins to wonder if she made the right decision to move away with this man who, deep down inside, she know's doesn't want the same type of life and relationship she does.

As she makes this realization, her ex, “Big”, has flown to Paris from New York looking to reconcile with his lost love after realizing his undying love for Carrie.

And of course, as with all good TV, the two find each other by luck and fate, and Big finally professes his love.

Talk about romantic, intense, suspenseful and full of great drama!

Ok, I thought that might do the trick to warm you back up.

So what does the story of Carrie's love life have to do with YOUR love life?

More than you might think - but we'll get to that.

That's why this week I'm giving you a short homework assignment - and this is what could be the most valuable 5 minutes you'll ever spend on your love life:

I need you to think about one of the first things I recognized about women way back in junior high - it's something I still see it today in our “grown-up” dating world.

Why don't women pick the right guys?

Or even more to the point - why do women pick all the wrong guys?

If you've had your heart broken, been cheated on, or find yourself giving everything you've got inside, to get little or nothing in return, then you know what I'm talking about.

****Right Now****

Take 5 minutes of time to yourself.

Tune the rest of the world out for just these 5 minutes.

Now, think about each of these questions for a minute or two each:

1. What is it about “bad boys” or men that aren't “available” that is attractive to women? And to you?

2. Have you ever dated a guy even though you knew he was a “bad boy” - or found out soon into things?

3. Is there a “nice guy” in your life who would make a great companion but you're not attracted to or share a “connection” with?

Don't cheat yourself...

Stop, go back, make sure you take at least 5 minutes of time and think about just these questions...

(Trust me - it's AMAZING what you can actually learn about the world and yourself if you take a few minutes of silence to think just about ONE THING at a time. It's maybe the BEST thing I ever started doing for myself!)

I'll give you some more time...

Ok, so you've thought about it. Let's share our thoughts and compare notes.

*As a quick inside reminder:

This exercise is all about actively improving your ability to know what a good man looks like for YOU and to help you pick ONLY the right men now and in the future.

Picking the wrong men can get you in all kinds of painful trouble it's hard to get free of.

But for some reason, women don't want the guys who are probably better relationship and love companions.

I'm not going to give you ALL the answers right now, but I'm going to lead you to finding the answers for yourself - as it's a much more effective way of learning.

So.... I'm gonna address the last question first about “nice guys”.

A friend of mine sent me an article that was on AOL entitled “What's Wrong With Nice Guys?”. Here's a little quote from the article:

“...Do Women Date Naughty Guys but Marry Nice Ones?”

This notion sounds an awful lot like the irritating good-girl/bad-girl distinction that men continue to make. Still, it does contain a nugget of sense. Since women truly are conditioned to be “good girls,” sometimes we feel uncomfortable with or guilty about that pure burning “I must have him!” feeling. That's why we sometimes seek out a bad boy to serve as the object of these desires, says Cleveland psychotherapist Belleruth Naparstek, creator of the Health Journeys series of guided imagery tapes. “In order for the deliciousness of pure lust to be 'okay,' it has to be for the symbolic bad boy who has nothing to do with the rest of your life. With him, you can crank up your animal impulses, worry-free,” she says...

Interesting, huh?

My friend who sent it to me disagrees with the idea that women seek out “bad boys” because they need somewhere to project their guilty lust, and I agree.

I disagree that there's something “wrong” with the fact that women are attracted to “bad boys”...

My friend also made the point that the “mainstream” psychology and behavior world is starting to accept the idea that women are attracted to “bad boys”.

There's something to the idea that woman don't feel that powerful GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION for “nice guys” who chase after them, dote on them and kiss up to them.

A woman might LIKE the experience of the “nice guy” doing nice things, but it doesn't CREATE attraction or a connection with the woman.


Trust me, I know men who are the “nice guy” all the time and they get so frustrated trying so hard to please a woman and get her interested.

But it's like trying to chew bubble gum to solve calculus problems... It's hopeless.

And wouldn't you know it - it works the same way for “nice women”. Being a “nice girl” can't “convince” a guy to like you just because you do sweet things...

It just doesn't work like that.

I've had women be the “nice girl” with me in the past. There's two women I can remember from acting overly nice and sweet to try and attract me.

Any attraction that was there started falling away.

THE TRUTH of the matter is - kissing up, convincing and being too “sweet” can kill attraction.


Our subconscious reacts in ways you often can't control and aren't very aware of.

Being too “nice” sends a signal to the “deep” part of the mind that tells you “this person isn't desirable and is lower status”.

I know, this might sound kind of dark, power-hungry or weird to you, but it's what happens with us humans.

People don't value what they can have too easily, whether they admit it or not.

Ultimately, when women are around “nice guys”, they end up unconsciously thinking, “This man isn't desirable, I shouldn't date or pursue this guy”.

(Ok, there can be another reason, but I won't disuss it here but it has to do with people who develop the “nice” persona due to what they feel they personally lack, and thus “nice” people are self-selecting and are actually and less confident and less attractive.)

In the nice guys defense - they might actually have something better to offer a woman in terms of what she SAYS she wants (love, trust, companionship, passion), but the women aren't able to see it - or see it as something they want.


Women don't develop a connection to the nice guy and the “connection” is the MAGIC ingredient for attraction with most women.

Which leads us to the “bad boy”!

You might not agree with me, but women DO feel that magical emotion called ATTRACTION for “bad boys”.

Of course, I don't believe that men have to be jerks, or abuse women in order to make them feel attracted to them.

But women have a deep attraction mechanism that's triggered by men who behave indifferent, superior, cocky, the list goes of “bad” behavior. You've seen it.

“Bad boys” often create inviting and intoxicating forms of drama - often perceived as playfulness, sexuality and fun.

When I first talk to women about the bad boy subject, they jump ALL OVER me and completely disagree.

Then I ask them about some of the relationships they've had in the past.

And guess what?

Most women realize in the course of the conversation that they've dated men they knew fit the “bad boy” profile.

What makes me laugh is that the realization makes them argue with me even more!

So why do women date and continue on with “bad boys”?

The answer to this question when I ask it to women is almost UNIVERSAL.

“We had a great connection”.

Some women call it “chemistry”.

The magic of a connection with a man can be extremely powerful. Often powerful enough to undo all sorts of reasoning abilities and ways of perceiving things.

Women picking and staying with the wrong men is the single biggest mistake I see women make. It's the most common reason why the thousands of women I hear from can't find the love and fulfillment they're looking for.

But there's help...

I talk about these and other concepts in detail in my eBook, “Catch Him And Keep Him”. You can get your hands on a copy of Catch Him And Keep Him at my website and be reading it in just a few minutes from now.

Plus, you can get it at what is at my risk-

Why don't you try the book for a week so you can decide if you want to keep it?

If you don't like it, just let me know and I'll refund all your money immediately.

Honestly, I think you could learn more in a few hours reading the book than most women might learn in their whole LIVES about how to meet and attract men the right men AND what the specific steps are to develop an amazing relationship he won't ever want to come to an end.

Go check it out:

Click Here For Your Free Newsletter And eBook Download

Your Friend,

Christian Carter

©Copyright 2008, Catch Him Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Copyright materials used by permission.
“Catch Him And Keep Him” and “Christian Carter”
are trademarks of Catch Him Inc.

Thursday, July 03, 2008

Best Pickup Lines For Approaching Women

Best Pickup Lines For Approaching Women
The Top 8 Ways To Approach Women Using Pickup Lines
by April Masini

Q: Dear April,

I am absolutely terrible at approaching women. Would you PLEASE give me some tips? A few pickup lines would be great too!

Dude Desperately Seeking Pickup Lines


Dear Dude Desperate for Pickup Lines:

First, Dude, here’s a little insight into the minds of women: Women are attracted to confidence, class, style, and intelligence. Men, on the other hand, will marry a girl who works at McDonalds if she’s beautiful, hot, and sexy enough. If you keep these differences in mind, you’ll increase your dating averages immediately.

Confidence Is The Key To Success
If you dress well, speak with assurance and carry yourself with confidence, you’ll convey positive things about yourself. In essence, you’re saying, "I can be looked up to, admired, and trusted: I respect myself." That is a message women will hear loud and clear, and it’s probably better than any pickup line that I can give you.

With that said, here are a few approaches and pick-up lines:

1) THE ADVICE SEEKER: Solicit her opinion on something like what you should get your mother for her birthday (You're demonstrating that you like her great taste!).

2) THE INNOCENT: "I'm really not trying to pick you up; I just wanted to know if you've ever been to such-and-such, because I know I've seen you there before, and I didn't want you to think I was rude by not acknowledging you."

3) THE COMEDIAN: Tell your best joke...If you get a laugh, introduce yourself. If you just get a blank stare -- run!

4) THE REVERSE PSYCHOLOGIST: Walk over, smile, and ask, "Would you like to meet me?"

5) THE CHARMER: If your "target hottie" is standing alone, try the playful approach with: "If he doesn't show, I'll be right over here" or "There you are! I've been looking all over for you."

6) THE BOLD APPROACH: Come right out with it with: "You know, I've never been a shy violet - I'm really attracted to you and would really like to get to know you."

7) THE WINK & RUN: Walk by, wink, smile, and keep going... If she's interested, she'll follow and introduce herself, or figure out a way to make some intense eye contact.

8) THE OLD STAND-BY: With hand extended say, "Hi, my name is ...."

Remember: the first time you meet someone, you have an opportunity that will never come again—the chance to make a fantastic first impression! How you look—and what you say and do, along with how you say and do it—will either make or break you.

Need more advice on approaching women? Pick up my book Date Out Of Your League and learn my 5 dating success tenets. It will save you lots of time and heartache if you are willing to accept, grasp, and follow the numbers game tenets.

Good Luck!

April Masini -- nicknamed "the new millennium's Dear Abby" by the media, is author of the best-selling books Date Out Of Your League and Think & Date Like A Man, the two (just released) step-by-step dating and relationship manuals, 50 First Dates and The Next 50 Dates, and the critically acclaimed dating and relationship online magazine

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Getting him to Commit

by April Masini

Getting Him to Commit

What Do You Do When You Think He's Just Stringing You Along?

by April Masini


I think the man I'm with is stringing me along. We've dated on and off for eleven months and have slept together, etc. Yet we are not what I'd call a real boyfriend and girlfriend kind of couple. Although he says he's not seeing anyone else, and I'm not either, we only get together once or twice a week. Do you think he's just waiting for Miss Right to come along? How can I get him to become more serious?

Ready to Get Real


Dear Ready to Get Real,
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but even more than that, I hate to keep the truth a secret. And in this case, honey, the truth will hurt!

When A Man Wants To Become Your Husband, He Starts Acting Like Your Husband

When a man is ready to commit — as a boyfriend or husband — you will know it because he will simply start acting in that role. He will talk about your future together and he will make plans accordingly. He will introduce you to his family and friends. He will not only call you daily, but he'll want to tell you the details of his day, and have a desire to hear about yours. A man that wants to be in a committed relationship acts like he wants to be in one.

On the other hand, a man who is not ready to be committed behaves, well… a lot like your guy, Ready to Get Real, and I think you know it. I think, what you're really wondering is what you can do about it. Can you somehow get him to change his mind, or get him to want you more? Can you give him an ultimatum or make him see the error of his ways?

Men and THEIR Biological Clocks

I say… probably not. If your guy's own version of the biological clock isn't telling him it's time to commit, there's absolutely no point in pushing him. You can make the mistake of giving him an ultimatum (as many women do), make promises about how great you'll be to him, and even ultimately snag him, but I guarantee he'll only end up resenting you for it, or worse — cheating or leaving. As soon as there's the first bump in the road, he'll point to the pressure you applied, with a “See, I knew I wasn't ready” retort.

Men Need To Feel Like Men - Men Like To Win

Men are, by their very nature, the pursuers, the aggressors, the hunters. You would not expect a fish to jump out of the water and start walking on land, so don't expect a man to stop being a man. If a man is in love with you he will want to be with you, he will want to spend time with you, and he definitely will not want to lose you to another man. Threats and will not work — neither does reversing the male and female roles, with you asking him to commit or marry you, even if he does agree. I wholeheartedly believe a man must believe he has won the prize (i.e. — you) in every sense of the word. If you ask a man to marry you, he doesn't have to win you — he has not won anything. You, in fact, have made him the prize! And you, more likely than not, will pay for it in the long run.

It could be as simple as the insecurity you'll feel, always wondering if he really loves you or if he would really rather be with someone else. Or it could an even more painful scenario — he leaves you for another woman, perhaps not even one as attractive or successful as you, but one he picks out, one he pursues, and on he “wins” on his own.

Time Is Our Most Valuable Commodity, Never Waste Your Time

So, what can you do, Ready to Get Real? There's only one answer: Start dating other men… immediately! (That and pisk up a copy of my book Think & Date Like A Man, immediately.) It may have the side effect of making the guy you're currently “seeing” realize that he really does love you, was taking you for granted, etc., but that's not why you'll be doing it. You'll be dating because your current guy is not worth wasting your time on. You'll be doing it because you deserve a man who is willing to put it all on the line for you. Someone who knows how great you are without your having to tell them. Someone who will want to see you every night of the week — and will never make you wonder whether they're waiting for Ms. Right, because they know you're it!

Relationship Advice Expert April Masini: Nicknamed "The New Millennium's Dear Abby" by the media, April Masini writes what "Dear Abby" will never print, and what your shrink doesn't have the guts to tell you.That's why she is America's foremost online dating and relationship advice expert, as well as the best-selling author of four books: "Date Out Of Your League", (dating tips for men), "Think and Date Like a Man" (relationship advice for women), "50 First Dates" (ideas for a fun date) and "The Next 50 Dates"(romantic date ideas).
Date of Your LeagueThink & DateLike A Man50 First DatesThe Next 50 Dates

© 2004-2007 AskApril.com, LLC, All rights reserved. AskApril®, AskApril.com®, and Ask April® are registered trademarks owned by Masini Enterprises, Inc. This material can not be published, republished, rewritten, reprinted, reproduced, or redistributed without expressed written permission from AskApril.com and Masini Enterprises, Inc.