Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Mind your Manners


Mind Your Manners on Your Next Date

When you go out on a date, what’s the most important thing to consider? No, it’s not what you wear, what you talk about, or where you go. It’s your dating manners that matter most. We’re not talking about knowing which fork is for the salad. It’s bad manners in general: Like barking at the waiter, coughing without covering your mouth, wiping your mouth with the tablecloth, and showing no interest in the person you’re with. Bottom line: Rude and disrespectful behavior is always a relationship-killer. So, here’s how to behave on a date, courtesy of Sue Fox, author of Etiquette for Dummies.

First: Be on time! There’s nothing that says, “I don’t think you’re important” quite like showing up late for a date.

Also, go out of your way to put your date at ease, and be thoughtful of their feelings, space and property. In other words, don’t dig through their handbag looking for a piece of gum.

Don’t talk about how much things cost, the price of the date especially - or make insulting comments about the people around you.

Always use your best table manners, treat everyone with respect – that includes waiters and counter clerks – and be sure to say “please,” “thank you” and “you’re welcome.” How you treat the people serving you is an indication of how you’ll treat your partner down the line.

Don’t use your cell phone or start texting. According to a recent survey, that’s the #1 dating faux pas. The message it sends is that someone else – who’s not with you – is more important. If you’re expecting a legitimate call from work – or the babysitter – warn your date ahead of time. When your phone buzzes, excuse yourself and take the call elsewhere, so it doesn’t look like you’re snubbing your date right at the table.

Finally: keep your word. If you don’t plan to call once the date is over, don’t say that you will.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Bad Breathe, Dating and Kissing

Article by Jeff Magic Dating Coach

Bad breath can be a deal breaker for sure when trying to find a mate. It is so unattractive. I've been on dates myself with very extremely attractive women with amazing personalities, and they had all the wonderful qualities I look for in a woman, except for one……. HORRIBLE Breath.

If you can't kiss a person, you can't date them. If you think bad breath might be slowing down your love life, you may suffer from Halitosis, a condition that causes chronic bad breath.

Some other possible causes are as follows:

• stomach problems

• not flossing regularly

• not brushing your tongue till it's pink(or almost)

Eating garlic, fetta cheese or onions before a first, second or third date can definitely contribute to not getting a return phone call. As it is, both parties are on thin Ice when first dating. You want to seek and destroy, as many first date deal breakers as you possibly can.

If you must indulge in any of these bad breath makers, make sure you have a mint in your mouth the at all times. They also sell pills at any pharmacy that help your stomach and will keep your breath fresh. Take one of those little guys 1 hour before your date.

If you're not sure if it's your breath that is the problem with your love life, ask a friend, and tell he or she to be totally honest with you. Look your friend right in the eyes, and say you honestly won't be offended. You need to know the truth! Let them know, that they will actually be helping you.

If your bad breath persist after some of these remedies, you could have a cavity that is harboring nasty bacteria or some other tooth or gum problem. Time to see the dentist. Don't be scared, it's really not that bad.

If you've done your homework and you are sure your breath is in check, it could be your behavior, dressing for your dates, or a myriad of other reasons. Best bet is to learn to develop self-awareness, and you'll be on your way to getting your love life together and finding that special guy or gal.

Jeff Magic *wink*

Monday, April 19, 2010

Is it ok for women to approach men?

I was wondering what people thought about a woman approaching a man. This gal walked up to my friend John at a bar this weekend and said "excuse me, can I have your email address."  I turned to the gal I was talking to and said, "wow, that is great!!  But how about I do this the traditional way, can I have your email address?"  She looked at me and said "uuh, I'm a lesbian".  Story of my friggin life, since she was cute too.  Actually, I am pretty sure she was a lesbian, based on some interesting characters that came in shortly after but...

Ladies.. Have you ever told a guy that you were not interested in that you were a lesbian?

So again, this is a two part question...

A) What do you think about the woman approaching the man?
B) Have you ever told a guy you were a lesbian to get rid of him?

I included a bunch of comments from Facebook where I also posted this.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

New Rules of Attraction

When it comes to finding love, it’s no longer about love at first sight, or fireworks with your first kiss. That only happens in the movies. I’ve got the NEW rules of attraction, courtesy of MSN:
  • The first old rule: You’ll know within three seconds if they’re “the one.” The new rule: You may know within three dates. The reason: People are nervous on date one, begin to unwind on date two, and by date three, can relax and work on building a little rapport. Early sparks also say nothing about long-term potential. It takes time, talking and listening to see whether your values, dreams and desires are compatible. So don’t write someone off – or fall head over heels – until you’ve had three dates.

  • Another old rule: Opposites attract. The new rule: Opposites distract! It may be fun to hang out with someone very different, but once the initial attraction wears off, if you don’t enjoy the same things, you’ll have nothing to do together. So, if they love spending money and traveling, and you’d rather garden and save up for a house, you might want to reconsider the relationship.

  • Another old dating rule: Your first kiss should mean fireworks. The new rule: Your first kiss means nothing. In fairy tales, an amazing kiss always leads to happily ever after, but there are a lot of reasons why a first kiss can go wrong. Like nerves, a public farewell at a bus stop, or her dad hovering on the other side of the front door while you say goodnight. Instead, wait for at least kiss #2 before you say “yea” or “nay.”

  • One final old dating rule: When it’s true love, you think about them constantly. The new rule: it’s true love if thinking about them makes you feel good. Having warm, comfortable feelings indicates a relationship built on stability, trust and a strong ‘friendship’ factor. In other words, a relationship that’ll wear well over time. On the flip side, if you’re up all night analyzing their emails for hidden messages and clues to their true feelings, you may be chasing someone who’s just not that into you. 

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Getting over a break up.

This is an article I found on the internet.  didnt write it myself.

Breaking up is not easy - especially if you have to stop seeing someone who you really like and care about. Losing someone special inevitably breaks one's heart and learning how to heal that broken heart is very important to our emotional health and to our ability to return to enjoying dating life promptly.

Indeed, we often have no choice but never see each other again, and therefore it's worth knowing how to get over those break ups and continue moving forward with our lives with the right mindset.

Here are the steps you can and you should take in order to get over any break-up quicker and in a more healthy manner:

1. Avoid harboring hope that you and your ex-partner will get back together. This is a crucial time when you must demonstrate strength and reluctance in letting those thoughts get into your head. Being strong now will most certainly pay off in the future.

2. Stop reminiscing on the wonderful times that you and your ex had while you were together. Such memories do nothing good to you but only aggravate your pain and prolong your recovery.

3. Stop thinking that your ex was one of a kind person. No matter how special he/she was, your next love will be also special in its own, unique way - this is just the reality of how love works.

4. Realize and truly believe that whatever happens, happens for a reason and for your own best. This includes break-ups. Think about it - most people who lose jobs eventually find a better one. The same applies to relationships. If you were taken out of your recent relationship by some great force, perhaps that force is trying to take you out of that relationship and put you back into the market, so that you start looking for and find a better partner.

5. Perceive your recent break-up as a great opportunity to learn how to deal with such experiences and become a stronger and a more mature individual.

6. Do not perceive your lost relationship as a waste of time. Be greatful! Be greatful for having been granted the joy of love and affection with your former partner as long as it lasted and don't forget that some things are probably just not meant to last. There is no insurance against breaking up whether you have been together for a month or for 20 years.

7. If you believe that you made certain mistakes in your recent relationship, whether they were the ones that caused the break-up or not, make sure you learn from those mistakes and move forward as a person who possesses a better understanding of himself and his interactions with romantic partners, and make sure that you don't make the same mistakes in the future.

8. Lastly, continue living! Pursue your professional and social goals and don't leave much space for boredom in your life. This is not the right time to "relax." You will have plenty of time to relax once you are over your ex and perhaps once you met someone new.

Breaking up is hard, but it can be a positive experience if you allow it to be. It can make you grow and become a stronger and a more attractive person. Make sure you take advantage of those valuable life lessons!

Further, it is important that you remember that the pain of breaking up is an emotion, and as such, it will not go away overnight. It will take time for it to go away. But with conscious effort of keeping in mind the above points, you can make the process of overcoming and recovering from the break-up much faster and easier.

Thursday, April 08, 2010

Are you sabotaging your love life?


You Could Be Sabotaging Your Own Love Life

Are you destroying your own love life? It’s natural to blame your single status on the “lack” of good men or women out there, but the truth is - YOU might be doing a few key things that can sabotage your chances at romance. Here they are, courtesy of Condé Nast Publications.

Drinking too much on a date. A study from Loyola Marymount University found that 71% of people drink more on dates than they normally would. So think about these questions: Do you feel more attractive when you drink? Do you start drinking before a date? Does drinking make you feel attracted to people you wouldn’t otherwise be drawn to? If you answer yes to any of these, experts say you should think about stopping after one drink. Otherwise you could be giving your dates the wrong impression, or making decisions that aren’t in your best interest.

Next bad move: You over-rely on technology, like Facebook, matchmaking sites, or texting. According to relationship psychologist Logan Levkoff, there are so many ways to meet and communicate with people electronically that we can forget how to express ourselves when face-to-face. So, rather than relying on gadgets to send a perfectly crafted message, she says you need to get out and interact with people. Meeting online is fine, but don’t rely on your electronic presence. All of that technology will absorb your time and emotional energy, and you won’t be as engaging in real-life situations.

One last thing that may be sabotaging your love life: You pick unavailable partners. Dr. Lissa Coffee is a sociologist and relationship coach. She says that people who lack confidence are often drawn to distant men or women, because they feel that if someone shows real interest in them - there must be something wrong with them. Like the famous line, “I don’t want to be part of any club that would have me as a member.” Or maybe you think an unavailable person won’t ever get close enough to hurt you. Coffee says the key to picking the right partner is keeping the qualities you want in mind at all times. If you think “loyal” or “sensitive” when you set out to meet someone, your instincts will guide you to that type of mate.
Long Island Singles Events    Speed Dating Long Island

Sunday, April 04, 2010

Just Be Yourself


If You Want to Be Successful at Dating, Just Be Yourself

How many times have you asked someone for dating advice, and been told: “Just be yourself?” According to new research we found on, that truly is the best way to have more dating success, and find a happier romance in general. Yes, just be yourself! This new study was conducted by researchers at Ohio State University. They tracked more than 60 couples, and asked each one to complete a questionnaire every few weeks.

The first one asked participants to rate themselves on how authentic they considered themselves to be as individuals.

In the second questionnaire, students were asked about their relationship. For example: One question asked about their willingness to discuss emotions with their partner, while another asked if they ever kept secrets from their partner.

In the third questionnaire, participants were asked to measure their overall satisfaction with their relationship.

When researchers crunched the results, they found a consistent pattern: Students who had reported being true to themselves from day one were generally more satisfied with their relationships! Why? Amy Brunell is a psychologist who led this study. She says if you’re always true to yourself, it’s easier for you to act in ways that build intimacy in your relationship, and keep you both feeling fulfilled. However, if you’re always trying to live up to someone else’s expectations – or being something you’re not - then you’re going to be too focused on playing a role, and you won’t be able to improve the relationship!

 Brunell adds this one caution: Staying true to yourself doesn’t mean you should accept all your flaws, and celebrate your shortcomings, because for yourself, you should always be looking for ways to make positive changes in your life. The message here is to be authentic from day one, and come to the table showing a willingness to have an open, honest relationship. If you can do that, this study suggests it’ll be easier to develop a stronger, long-term romance.