Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Can he really grow on you??

Ever heard the saying "Men love with their eyes, Women love with their ears."

A few recent conversations seems to reinforce this, but what do you think?

Coversation with Laurie

I went out to lunch with my friend Laurie who told me about a recent dating experience. She was set up on a blind date and had absolutely no attraction to the guy. By the end of the date, he said or did a few things that grew on her, and she agreed to go out with him again. By the end of the second or third date, she started to genuinely like the guy. So he went from having no shot, to having this great gal start to like him as more than a friend.

Guys, does this hold true for you? If you are not initally attracted to a woman, but start to like her personality, could it go past a friend stage? Ladies, has the above type of scenario happened to you?

Coversation #2- See video below from Toni.

Toni recently attended a speed dating event. She told me that she came in, looked at the guys and wanted to walk out the back door because she did not see anyone she was attracted to. Another nice lady, stopped her from leaving, and explained that it would really mess Jay up because the gender balance would be off. Thus Tami stayed.

Good thing she did, because she is completely gaga for a guy she met at the event. She went from having no attraction to anyone, to having a guy that she is crazy about.

Guys, same question? If you are not initially attracted, but start to really like her personality, could it go past the friend stage? Ladies, has this happened to you?

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Couples get together


The "Dos" and "Don'ts" of Text-Flirting

Let’s face it: Dating was complicated enough before cell phones. Now, many new couples express their affection for each other in text messages more than in person! Unless you know what you’re doing, so-called “text flirting” can either improve your relationship or send your date packing! So, let’s break down some “dos” and “don’ts” of text flirting, with relationship intel we found on CNN:

DON’T plan your first date with a text message. Most women agree that guys should make an effort to actually dial a phone and call them at the start of a relationship. Otherwise, a text invitation to spend time together will feel too informal, and your date won’t feel like you respect her. One woman interviewed by CNN put it this way: If a guy she barely knew started sending her flirty text messages, it’d feel like a total stranger using pick-up lines! Creepy.
However, after your first date:

DO let the text flirting begin. The women interviewed by CNN agreed that text-flirting can be fun after you’ve established chemistry with someone. The texts don’t have to be long and poetic. Something as simple as “thinking of you” is enough. The key is to send your flirty texts at random, unexpected times. They’ll feel more genuine that way.

DON’T use emoticons in your flirty texts! Again, this was something the women interviewed by CNN were unanimous about. They said sideways smiley faces, and lovey-dovey heart symbols, are annoying enough when they come from other women. So just don’t do it.
If the relationship doesn’t work out, DON’T break up with a text. Most women agree that’s tacky! Even if you can’t muster the willpower to break up in person, you should at least extend the courtesy of a phone call.

By the way: It should go without saying that “sexting” your new date is a definite DON’T, because the women interviewed by CNN said they’d do one of two things if they received half-naked photos from a guy on their phone: They’d either show all their friends for a good laugh or they’d call the police.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Hi, please let me know what you think of this proposed free event.

Safe alternatives to CD's for singles

With CD's paying 1-2%, I went on a hunt to find a safe alternative and was introduced to the world of Triple Tax Free Municipal Bonds.

Bonds? What?? You Crazy?? I am not tying my money up for 30 years!!.

After I was educated a little more about bonds, I found they seem to be a pretty safe investment and DO NOT require you to keep them to maturity.


Are you interested in a free 30-45 minute event where you can learn about understanding bonds and how they may be a great alternative to cd's? This event would be held by a licensed financial advisor and WOULD NOT...I repeat WOULD NOT be a sales pitch. It would be educational in nature.

If enough people are interested (leave me a comment below or email me at I will set it up.

PS- The event would come with some free food :)



PSS- Full Disclosure- I recently bought Triple Tax Free municipal bonds myself, however would not receive any value from this

Bad Break up Reasons


Bad Reasons to Break Up

Sometimes it’s clear when a relationship has run its course, but some couples throw in the towel before they’ve really tried to make it work. They think some problems are impossible to work through. So, here are a few BAD reasons to break up. These are from Dr. Neil Clark Warren, author of Falling in Love for All the Right Reasons:

The first bad break-up reason: You've had a big fight. Disagreeing is inevitable – you know that. What you may not know is that having a conflict with your partner will strengthen your bond in the long run. Psychologists agree that the way you resolve your differences can help your relationship climb to new levels. It helps you understand your partner better - what sets them off, what makes them tick. So don’t head for the door when you don’t see eye-to-eye. Stay put and talk it out.

Bad breakup reason #2: Your partner finds other people attractive. Yes, you’ve captured your partner’s heart - but you haven’t poked out their eyes! Physically attractive people are everywhere - on TV, on billboards, and yes - even in the local supermarket. The experts say it’s na├»ve to think that these people will go unnoticed. In a good, committed relationship, people aren’t cut off to external influences – including you. It’s acting on those influences that’s a recipe for disaster. So no matter where you are or who you’re with – act as if your partner can hear and see everything you’re doing.

One last bad reason to break-up: The relationship doesn’t always make you happy. Here’s a newsflash: your relationship doesn’t exist JUST to make you happy. You’re still responsible for yourself, for accomplishing your individual goals and for keeping yourself entertained. If you’ve abandoned all your hobbies and ambitions because you’re expecting your relationship to fulfill all your needs - you’ve made a fatally BAD MOVE. That’s too much pressure for your partner, and too high of an expectation from your relationship. So take responsibility for your own happiness.

If you don’t, you’ll just keep jumping from partner to partner, because ultimately, nobody can make you happy but yourself.

Monday, October 12, 2009

A funny joke


Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven.When they get there, St. Peter says,

'We only have one rule here in heaven:
Don't step on the ducks!'
So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place.
It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.
St. Peter chains them together and says,
'Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to
spend eternity chained to this ugly man!'

The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.

The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained
for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps..
She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on

.... very tall, long eyelashes, muscular. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.

The happy woman says,

'I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?'
The guy says, 'I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck.

Why do men in their 40's think Im old?


Why Do Men in Their 40s Think I'm Old?
by Rachel Greenwald Guest Writer

Dear Rachel,

I’m single at 44 years old, and men who are near my age seem only to be interested in younger women. I’m active and feel very young, and everyone says I look much younger than my age, but when men in their forties can (and do) date women in their thirties, and when they don’t even respond to my emails through online dating, it makes me feel ancient! How can I overcome this problem?

Ancient in Atlanta

Dear Ancient,

This is a real issue, and I see it everywhere. Men in their 40’s often date women in their 30’s (even 20’s!); men in their 50’s often date women in their 40’s (even 30’s!). This leaves a gaping hole in the singles arena of fabulous women looking for men near their age. The U.S. Census (2008) echoes this problem: there are 30 million single women and only 20 million single men over 40. Yikes! It reminds me of the lost-sock-in-the-dryer phenomenon: you put two socks in the clothes dryer, but only one sock comes out. Where did the other sock go? And where did all the single men your age go? The answer is that men date younger, and men die younger too.

Okay, so we know the reality and it’s unfair, but it’s not hopeless. It requires a shift in your thinking to view this problem differently. Instead of asking yourself, “Why do men in their 40’s think I’m too old?”, you should be asking, “Who thinks I’m young? And who thinks I’m hot?” Now, with these questions, there seem to be two answers: much older men and much younger men. Fifty to 60-year old men think a 44-year old is young, and some men in their late 20’s and 30’s think a 44-year old is hot.

Now, before you start screaming that you don’t want to marry an old man or a baby, consider this core principle from the business world: “You have to sell what people want to buy.” If you’re trying to sell the most delicious candy bar in the world, but all your customers want to buy ice cream, you should sell ice cream. Sure, there are not many women whose first choice is to marry someone 10+ years older or younger, but if that’s the reality of whom you attract, and you really want to find a loving partner, it’s better to face it now rather than spend years alone trying to “sell” something few people want to “buy.”

This doesn’t mean you are going to “settle”: of course not! I want you to find someone wonderful, but “wonderful” isn’t defined by a number. And it doesn’t mean you have to give up on the men closer to your age, but it DOES mean that you need to cast a wider net. Change your online profile to search for men ages 29 to 59, and tell your friends you’re open to fix-ups in this wider age range. Be open to the possibility that Mr. Right may come wrapped in a totally different package (much older or much younger) than you’ve always envisioned. Remember that your real goal is to find happiness, which is age-less.

Thursday, October 01, 2009

Older Men & Younger Women?

Last week was our first Mature Women (ages 36-48), younger Man (ages 27-41) speed dating event and I will admit that I was surprised at the turnout and the overall positive feedback. About 95% of the participants received at least one match or one-way match.

I can admit this now, but when I first posted the event, I thought the chance of a successful turnout would have been about 25%. The overwhelming majority of guys I speak with are still looking for a gal that is a bit younger, however times are changing and more guys in their 20's and 30's are open to meeting a woman a little bit older.

I am exploring the possibility of doing another Mature Women, Younger Man event. If you are a man in your 30's or 40's who is interested in meeting women in their late 40's and 50's, please email me at

Since I was wrong about the event above being a success, I open up the suggested event proposal below (Older Men, Younger Women) to your comments.


Hi Jay,

I noticed that you have done an older women younger men speed dating event, so why not do younger women older men; possibly females 33-43,males 49-59. Possibly charge the guys more and give the women an incentive to go. Food for thought. Thanks....AT

Hi AT,

I asked a few ladies about your idea and they were outraged to say the least. The feedback is that almost all of my events have the guys older than the women, and the older women younger men event is not the norm.
Question for you though.
For the speed dating, I do have the event where the women are 37-49 and the guys are 40-53. I don't do it a lot, but it does exist. Is that not close to what you are suggesting?


Hi Jay

Not exactly. Someone like myself 53, with 54 in Feb is looking for younger women....37-43 or so. I am not interested in the older speed dating. I am surprised at the response you got, some women are receptive to older guys who are fit etc.

I will put this in the newsletter and see what kind of response I get.