I can admit this now, but when I first posted the event, I thought the chance of a successful turnout would have been about 25%. The overwhelming majority of guys I speak with are still looking for a gal that is a bit younger, however times are changing and more guys in their 20's and 30's are open to meeting a woman a little bit older.
I am exploring the possibility of doing another Mature Women, Younger Man event. If you are a man in your 30's or 40's who is interested in meeting women in their late 40's and 50's, please email me at Info@WeekendDating.com
Since I was wrong about the event above being a success, I open up the suggested event proposal below (Older Men, Younger Women) to your comments.
Thanks
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Hi Jay,
I noticed that you have done an older women younger men speed dating event, so why not do younger women older men; possibly females 33-43,males 49-59. Possibly charge the guys more and give the women an incentive to go. Food for thought. Thanks....AT
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Hi AT,
I asked a few ladies about your idea and they were outraged to say the least. The feedback is that almost all of my events have the guys older than the women, and the older women younger men event is not the norm.
Question for you though.
For the speed dating, I do have the event where the women are 37-49 and the guys are 40-53. I don't do it a lot, but it does exist. Is that not close to what you are suggesting?
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Hi Jay
I will put this in the newsletter and see what kind of response I get.
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Hi Jay
Not exactly. Someone like myself 53, with 54 in Feb is looking for younger women....37-43 or so. I am not interested in the older speed dating. I am surprised at the response you got, some women are receptive to older guys who are fit etc.
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Hi AT-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I will put this in the newsletter and see what kind of response I get.
9 comments:
This is a no-brainer!!! DO IT!!!
I am a woman in my 30's. I can't tell you the number of men in their late 40's/50's that show interest.
Personally, I am not into being the one to try and help an older gentleman recapture his youth. It seems desperate. I am sure that there are exceptions, but generally men in their 50's who say they are "youthful" "in good shape" or "just get along better with younger women" should accept that this is just their perception, and not the reality.
I have dated a man in his early 50's. He was originally a warm acquaintance and things developed. Kinda. He is nice, good company, and an all-round good guy and great catch but despite him being in excellent shape, it was like hanging with my father, and it was impossible for me to be physical with him. Skin and body quality ages as we age. Its a reality. Even if that was not the case, in terms of likes/dislikes, activities, movies, music.. its such a generation gap that its... well... boring.
From what I have seen from friends and business associates, unless a man in his 50's has LOTS of money or is literally magazine gorgeous, he's not really sought after by women in their 30's.
Whatever happened to aging gracefully, and accepting where you are in life?
I totally agree with the comment the woman in her 30's left. I, too, am a female in my late 30's. As such, not only do I have to contend with slim pickings in the dating pool to begin with at my age, but on top of that, I have to deal with men my age who don't want to date me because they are seeking a younger female.
From a purely business stand-point, Jay, it may be worth trying, since you know the older dudes will be clamoring to sign up for the event. Whether you will get the requisite female interest is another story, though.
The majority of younger women with significantly older men are with these men for a reason: money, power,influence, and/or the man is exceptionally physically attractive for his age. You are not going to find a young woman seeking to be with the Average Joe in his 50's. Just not going to happen. What would be the incentive?
To be quite blunt, this is not Speeddating from the movies. It is not all glamorous. I highly doubt that there will be a lot of George Clooney-esq men at the proposed event. LOL.
Really, I have to ask guys: with the exception of having a hot young chick on your arm, what possibly would you have in common with a significantly younger woman? The generational gap is significant and would affect everything from musical tastes to core values.
I would be curious to see if the proposed event is successful or not. It all depends on the female interest.
Jay, I just had to laugh reading the last two comments."I, too, am a female in my late 30's...I have to contend with slim pickings in the dating pool...I have to deal with men [that]are seeking a younger female."
As someone who has kept a open mind and dated women in this age range, allow me to offer the other side. These women have no idea just how angry they come across when they behave like somehow fate has cheated them. Any disagreements escalate quickly into fights and these women can be about as fun as a trip to the dentist. For the most part they are never truly grateful, nor do they even begin to see their own shortcomings. As someone who still wants my own family, this is the LAST person that I want to spend the rest of my life with because I am NOT seeking a prison sentence.
Younger woman i.e. late 20's/early 30's, are not jaded this way.
Sounds like "male" Anonymous has been burned in the past. You talk about angry females? Your post is absolutely seething with venom!
I think some (note the word "some", meaning not all) men seek younger women because it suits their egos. They are non-threatening to those that have major insecurity issues. Guys who seek similarily aged or slightly older women usually do not suffer from such insecurities. They have respect and view a female as "on par" with them.
Male anonymous is placing the blame on the "angry" late 30's female, but I think the root of the problem lies with him or similarly situated men. That is such a cop out to place the whole blame on the female in order to justify one's dating preferences. It is just not believable.
I don't know who Male Anonymous dated, but to insinuate that women in this age range are ungrateful is absolutely ludicrous.
It is a well known fact that individuals usually become more secure, insightful, wise, and thankful for the small things in life as they age. It is a rare thing indeed to find such qualities in a younger person.
It's so interesting how whenever you open up a blog you get people (both male and female) who are so prone to generalize their own self-responsible experiences, cliched psycho-babble and, often, bitternesses and insecurities, into these grand pronouncements and attacks. There are men who are youthful and men that are delusional, there are men who have some need to be with younger women and men who are open to varying possibilities that meet varying needs (often irrespective of age), there are men who are like your father and men who don't (for whatever reason) remind you of him. Formulas and blanket indictments don't lead anywhere. I do find it a bit disconcerting that women who go after older men because of money or even psychological reasons usually get less piled on than men who go after younger women for looks or psychological reasons of their own. Those who think it's easy to age will face the prospect someday, as they will one day face the mirror and see whatever it is they are disposed to see. And I must say that it's probably a lot easier to "age gracefully" when one is with someone that appreciates and grounds them, and, yes, helps make them feel young, however that might happen. Those who are threatened by this idea are demonstrating no less trouble with aging than those they subject to dissection and ridicule. To the women who felt the personal need to attack this idea: no one is making you attend. There are some younger women who like older men. I've been with a couple, and age CAN be a number, at least in some cases. Whether it is because they feel that they will be more appreciated or benefit from a more mature perspective (which doesn't necessarily come with age either, we know), or whether it is because of something having to do with their father or some young boyfriend, or whether it is a curiosity or a fetish... well, guess what. We all seek out (and reject) potential partners in part for psychological reasons. We all have superficialities and insecurities. Yes, Jay, you should do it, if, as someone said, for no other reason than that it's good business and will verify whether there's a market for it or not. But you should also do it because you do pretty much everything else, and why not give those people, male and female, who want this for themselves, for whatever reason, a chance?
Hi Jay, You know being a personal trainer has afforded me some inside info on older women and younger men, most of them (younger guys) talk to me as is I'm one of them and I'm not close in there age, but I don't look nor act my age either!! so its easy for them to spill there guts so to speak. If these women heard what I've heard ( and let me state at this point there are exceptions to every rule) not only would they not go out with this younger guys they would probably prefer to have them locked up for there thoughts as well as there actions. They tell me its all about the sex, not love, trust or a committed relationship, it goes like this, there older, done with having kids, and have a lot of experience in sex department and that's the major attraction, so I guess if your a woman who is just looking to hook up with a sexual experience in most cases you'll have that, but I would hope that most women think enough of them self's to avoid what will cost them time wise, but more importantly emotionally in the future when this boys who are now men, and this women who are now grandma's will be moving on and leaving the lady's to play with there grand children!! Sad but true, father time waits for no one, so if your looking for a long or short term fling, I personally know some young guys who will accommodate you in wasting your valuable time, its always your choice!!
So no venom and strickly speaking from my own experince. I am a female who has just entered my 30s and dated my first "older man" in his 50s recently. I actually enjoyed it. I enjoyed the conversations and the warmth, and affection he is able to give at his age with far less games then it seems i have had to play with men my age. I quess my point is - I have expanded the range of the ages of men i am interested in and i would be all for an older man younger woman speed dating event
Jay - as an older guy (48), I have dated both older and younger woman. While many of the posters are correct about the "father" or "daughter" thing, it's maturity and being emotionally age appropriate. Not every 37 year old can go to the City and club till 4, yet some think they can, and get mad when the cougar label is applied. Yet, not every 37 year old woman wants to eat at 5:00 PM and be home by 9:00 either.
This is a touchy subject, but since every woman I dated that was older than me was a positive experience, I say do it. Not that I haven't dated younger and had great dates, but older woman younger man is a very real dating situation. I'd like to see you do it.
GH
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