Thursday, June 18, 2009

Talk about protection

There are two types of protection:

First off, lets talk about your screen name. If you are using your full name as part of your email address (example-, please consider making up a separate email address when attending singles events. There is no need to give out more information than is necessary when first meeting someone.

Second area of protection is yep, you guessed it, Sex. I was talking to a male friend (we will call him Bob) a about a woman he met on something called Tagged. She was from Arizona and Bob lives in Brooklyn, and he flew out to stay with her for a week. When I asked Bob how the trip went, he said "It was ok, she thought I was too feminine for her, and it looks like it will just be a friend thing."

So asked Bob where he stayed when he was in Arizona, and he said "I stayed at her house. She had a small apartment so I slept in the same bed with her." Hmm, so of course I needed to ask if anything happened and he said "Yes, we had sex. It wasn't very good because I was nervous."

Bob was a little down because things didn't work out with this gal, so I tried to cheer him up and said, "hey, no biggie. Look at it as a vacation. You got to see a new town, meet some new people, and had some "fun"...As long as you were safe, it's all good." He responded that "nope, I wasn't safe. she is clean. She has two kids and her place was immaculate. I met her mom, when I was there."

I said "Bob, wtf is wrong with you? She is clean because she has two kids and you met her mother and her place is immaculate!! What the heck does that mean. How do you didn't get a disease? And how do you know you did not get her pregnant?" Bob responded "she told me she had her tubes tied."
Hey, I am no saint (although I am told that I look like one), but guys, just think with the right head before you do something and be safe. For all we know, Bob could not only have a nice new disease, but he could be a daddy soon, and doesn't even know it.

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

When you are not interested........

The last time I had spoken with Jennifer, she told me she had been on a few dates with a guy she had recently met. I said "hey Jennifer, how are things going with the guy you told me about"? Her response was:

"I haven't spoken to him since the last date. It is so annoying. If he wasn't interested, I wish he would have just told me, instead of just disappearing and never contacting me again."
Yep, I admit it, I have done the same thing. Gone out on a few dates with someone and when their was no chemistry, just never called again. But what is the right way, or is their a right way (protocol) to handle it. If you have been dating for a while, then yes, I think their needs to be contact to let the other person know that it is not going anywhere.

But what about if you have dated 3 times or less and are not interested? Do you just not contact the person at all, let them know by email or text, or pick up the phone and tell them. Hey, the right thing to do is the phone, but many of us do not like the confrontation approach.