Monday, April 28, 2008

Why Men Withdraw and What to do

Why Men Withdraw,
And What To Do About It

Written by Christian Carter (NOT Jay from Weekenddating)

Tons of women do this one thing.

And it must leave them feeling awful...

I wonder if you do it too?

I'm talking about women who hide their true feelings from a man and fear sharing their desire for a closer relationship and for love.

Ever felt this way?

It's happens when you won't communicate directly with a man about your feelings because you think you'll “scare him away”.

Unfortunately, you're right... it could scare him away.

The way you talk to a man about a relationship turns out to be THE BIGGEST MISTAKE ANY WOMAN CAN MAKE WITH A MAN.

I'll come back to this giant mistake in just a quick second...

First, I'd like to talk about what I've seen in the dating world as a guy and share a FASCINATING story with you.

I've had women communicate their feelings with me in all sorts of different ways from joy to anger to frustration, and I know what each one does to a man.

(and in a larger context, what communicating this way does to any person in general - man or woman)

There's a pattern to the dating experiences that I'd like to share.


(let's pretend I'm the man in this story and you're the woman)

You and I meet. We both like each other. (lucky me!)

Feelings develop for us both on several levels. (physically, emotionally, socially)

You try to be “patient” and not express too many feelings and what you want to play it cool.

We have a great “connection”, but we never talk about what we want in our future around dating, a relationship or marriage.

Time goes by and things are great for us.

Eventually, you begin to see that you're not getting what you want from me in the relationship.

You want more, but you're scared of talking to me about it because you don't know where I'm at.

You're scared because I've talked to you about all the bad experiences I've had with women in the past.

And sometimes I even make negative remarks about women and their emotions.

You don't want to ruin the good things we have going and rock the boat, but in the back of your mind you know that you'll want to deal with the negative emotions that are slowly but surely building in your mind.

Then as I start to see us growing closer, I begin to use my past issues to tell you that I'm not looking for much more than what we have right now.

So you don't say anything to me directly to communicate what's going on for you and your feelings.

And of course, being a normal guy, I don't say anything either. (Of course, I'm a man!)

You become frustrated and confused that I'm not acting how I used to act.

Things begin to change with the way I treat you.

I don't pay as much attention to you anymore.

I don't surprise you or bring you flowers anymore.

I'm tired everyday after work and just want to watch tv when I get home.

I call you less frequently.

I don't initiate sex as much anymore.

You even consider that I could be seeing someone else.

And after a few months - I've become distant.

So what happens next?

You decide you're not happy with where things are and it's time to have a talk about where we're at.

But you're SCARED of expressing your feelings about what you want, so you let things build up inside you until you begin to let your frustrations with me show.

And to wrap the story up...


You start a conversation about the relationship and then you “let me have it”!

(you get upset and lose your cool with me)

All your desires, fears, frustrations and dreams that you've been holding inside away from me all pour out in one big emotional explosion...

This “Big Mistake” can take the form of arguing and yelling, but not exclusively.

Sometimes it's just extreme intensity, perhaps tears.

It might include:

- Complaining about the current state of the relationship
- Talking about the things he does wrong with you
- Showing your frustrations about what you feel is missing
- Becoming upset that he doesn't feel how you'd like him to feel
- Bringing up past issues, arguments or disappointments

But it always creates a lot of emotional tension and “drama”. Especially in the guys mind.

This is THE LAST THING you want to do with a man if you want to get some positive result with him.

That tension that's created stays with him, and he NEVER forgets it.

In his mind, he now thinks of you as “hysterical” and full of issues. His mind defines you by what he saw in your behavior, and it scares him.

Yep, I know it's not fair, but it's the man's weird and twisted reality...

I've heard hundreds, maybe thousands, of men talk about this exact perception of a woman and how they fear being with a woman who they think will make this giant mistake.

Yeah, I know... it's inmature, selfish and not fair of the man, but it's the reality of the situation that lots of women end up in with men.

So how do you avoid this....? I'll tell you how in THREE EASY STEPS.

Step 1) You Need To Understand What's Going On Inside The Mind Of Your Man...

Let me tell it to you straight, as a man...

Women secretly believe that their connection with a man will “naturally” turn into something deeper without any communication taking place.

Kind of like it's the unspoken truth about what's

going on.

Honestly... this isn't how it works for us men.

If you're “assuming” you have a relationship, and that he feels like you do, you're wrong.

Men don't assume that a connection, being together, spending quality time and all the rest means they're in a committed relationship.

Some men do, but not most.

For a man to know he's in a committed relationship, and understand the things YOU want in that relationship, YOU have to communicate with him in CLEAR AND DIRECT terms.

Yeah, that's right... You have to put yourself out there and be vulnerable.


But I hear lots of women think that other women are just lucky to have found such a great guy.

And while there are some men who are more equipped and ready for a healthy situation with a woman, it's NOT luck that women in great relationships have found a way to communicate with their guy.

That's right, they've taken time to find the right information and to learn to integrate a certain way of communicating into their thinking and behavior.

It's not easy, but there's help.

Step 2) You Need To Understand What Causes You To Make “The Big Mistake”

EVERYONE wants to have THEIR needs met first. It's basic human nature.

But being able to delay your gratification is an AMAZING thing to develop in your life. (in every part of your life!)

Most people (men and women) want to talk, talk, talk about what THEY think and what THEY want.

The root of this problem basically boils down to needs that are unmet.

So making “The Big Mistake” is really all about being driven by your unmet needs and desires and solely focusing on what YOU want the relationship to be, without honestly and critically considering the man's perspective, his emotional state, his commuication skills and where he's coming from at the same time.

When you do this with a man, you are subconsciously telling him that you're more interested in your feelings and what YOU want than you are in his feelings and what he wants.

And men can read and pick up on women who do this instantly.

I see a form of this “Big Mistake” communication all the time in business by the way.

Some business professionals are the worst at this self-absorbed “need” oriented communication.

Like when someone calls me who wants to get something from me or sell me something and they're not very experienced or polished at it.

The first thing I pick up on is their selfish agenda... and it instantly puts me on the defensive.

But if they've done their “homework” on me and what I'm looking for, and not what THEY WANT from me, when they talk it changes the whole situation the second they show me they've thought about what I want.

It's very simple but extremely powerful.

So let's take this concept directly back to communicating with men.

It might sound cliche', but you've got to learn to listen and understand where's he's at and where's he's coming from.

This cliche' is a around for a reason.

It works.

Patience, empathy and understanding are the first steps towards creating the relationship you dream about.

But you've got to be careful to not become the woman who gives him EVERYTHING and gets walked on.

Use your common sense and intuition to safeguard yourself - I know that your female perceptive abilities aren't used nearly enough, so put these strong tools to good use.

Step 3) How To Avoid Making The Big Mistake

Let me give you a vital piece of information when dealing with men...

Men are CLUELESS when it comes to identifying the things that are “obvious” to women in dating and relationships.

I would know. It's taken me ten years to begin to understand these things for myself - and I spend a LOT of time thinking about it.

Sorry though, I'm “spoken for”... (Oh Please, get over yourself Christian!!)

Ok, enough self-indulgent humor, back to you.

So we know men are AWFUL at initiating and participating in conversations about deep emotions and relationships.

Sorry to break the bad news, but it's almost always up to you to make this communication happen.

It's important to remember to approach the entire conversation from the perspective of talking about what you want AND what he wants.

If you can make a guy feel like you put his feelings and needs a priority in this conversation, and always consider what he wants, I promise he will LOVE YOU for it!

There's no rule that says you can't consider another persons opinions and feelings first in order to get what you want.

In fact, a key goal in negotiating is to let the other person talk first.

When you get to listen first, you ALWAYS have the advantage. You know exactly what the other person wants... and knowledge is influence and power.

I'm not saying you need to take on hard-core negotiating here with a man, but some of the same rules and principles about people and psychology apply.

When you talk to a man from a positive place of listening first, he will be 10,000 times more receptive to what you have to say and what you want once you bring it up than if you approach him from a place of feeling hurt, communicate need and projecting fear and anxiety.

Try this instead.

Ask a positive question or give a positive statement such as, “Honey, I was thinking today that I was happy to be with you.”

It might sound submissive, corny or difficult to say to someone you're having a tough time with, but think about it...

If you're going through all the trouble to worry so much about the future with this person, this is already what you're thinking.

You might want to check out what could be the world's best collection of ideas, strategies, insights and research on the subject of how to avoid the Big Mistakes, and other big mistakes in my ebook, “Catch Him And Keep Him”.

It's full off specific ways to communicate with a man that will instantly amplify the attraction he feels for you and help move things quickly and smoothly from “casual” to “committed” in no time flat.

I've spent the better part of the last year making sure my ebook will give you REAL WORLD ANSWERS and solutions to the things you're dealing with when it comes to men.

Go check it out right now:

Click Here For Your Free Newsletter And eBook Download

Your Friend,

Christian Carter

©Copyright 2008, Catch Him Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Copyright materials used by permission.
“Catch Him And Keep Him” and “Christian Carter”
are trademarks of Catch Him Inc.

May 2008 Love Horoscopes

By Vanessa Calderon. Seventh Sense Astrology

Your Romance and Partnership Horoscopes for May 2008

ARIES (March 21 – April 19)
You have allies this month, Aries, and they are people you can learn from. And they probably have lots of resources to share with you. And they are probably in some positions of power. If you can hold back on any confrontational urges that you feel this month, you have the opportunity to forge some strong alliances. Your partners are thinking about money, and if you don’t have a partner, go out and take a finance course or something because you may just meet some really attractive people there in the first half of the month. The focus will shift to a party mood by mid-month, and you can be as social as you please, but do not neglect your work or there will be consequences. Talk it up and initiate conversations if you want to see sparks fly!

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)
At this time of year, when the sun is in your sign, people tend to go out and spend more money. Whether they are just hitting the hottest nightspots or purchasing homes, it is definitely a time of the year when people are prone to excess. You are no exception during the first half of the month. You’ll be in a downright jolly mood, but don’t go overboard on food and drink. That said, your best places to meet people who share your values are at home in the first half of the month, so throw a party or a bbq and ask friends to bring friends you don’t already know. Chances are you know someone who knows someone who wants to settle down, or at least wants a nice, even-tempered partner to hang out with. If that doesn’t work, go forward with sprucing up your living space, because you could meet someone interesting at a nursery or in an interior design store.

GEMINI (May21-June21)
You might not be thinking about relationships as your first priority during the first half of the month, because you have other important things to take care of. Everything goes back to normal in the second half in the month when Mars gives you the green light to get out and be a social butterfly again. You won’t need to go far, and you might find love this month in your own neighborhood. In fact, you might find love in a place or with a person you never considered before. Mercury is in your sign all month and Venus will enter your sign in the second half of May All of this is helpful when you want to meet people who are as quick-witted and mentally agile as you are. If they can’t keep up with you and they don’t value good conversation, they just don’t measure up.

CANCER (June 22-July 23)
The ruler of your house of romance is angling in a way that could bring a disciplined, hard worker into your life. You are also attracted to older people this month, mostly because the, “old soul” in you comes out into the open. The second half of the month lightens up a bit and you find that you need someone who likes to have fun. You are ready to go out and spend money on frivolous pursuits with friends in the first half of the month, and that is fine to do once in a while. Keep an eye on your wallet though, just in case someone you don’t know very well inadvertently (or advertently) tried to take advantage of your generosity and jovial spirit.
LEO (July 23- Aug 22)
If you have been in a shell lately, Leo, you are bound to bust out of it by the middle of May. Caution turns into confident action. You have a lot to offer this world. Venus and Mars are telling you to get moving in the right direction career-wise, and in relation to self-improvement. You’ll have lots to celebrate and lots of fun is in the starts for the end of the month, when impromptu meetings with friends, and casual gatherings are on your calendar. Some ongoing responsibilities that you have been dealing with for a long time should be more manageable in May, which is a welcome break for you. You seem to attract news about financial arrangements this month as the people around you begin to shift their assets around. You are likely to receive some friendly advice. Grit your teeth and say thank you even if you don’t think it is good advice.

VIRGO (Aug 23- Sept 22)
Friends and romantic interests clash, or you think one of your friends is attractive in the beginning of the month. You had better think very carefully before making a move or saying anything that might ruffle feathers in this situation! People related to law enforcement and education are attracted to you now. Go where those types of people hang out if you want to meet someone unique. A secret you have been keeping could become public news, and it is most likely relationship related. This shouldn’t happen until the second half of the month, so use caution until then to prevent slip-ups. Also use caution when you give friendly advice. It might be taken the wrong way and it might touch a really sore nerve.

LIBRA (Sept 23- Oct 23)
The focus is on home and work during the first half of the month, and then it shifts to meeting new individuals and groups of people in the second half of the month. Most of the month has you handling joint finances. You are going to have an opportunity to travel toward a place that has a different social climate in May. You could meet someone who is in accounting or in some other financial career, and they will help you out in some way. Your experiences this month will have you thinking about learning something new by the last week of May. Go to places where you would learn something along with a large group of other people if you are in the mood to meet someone you have a lot in common with.

SCORPIO (Oct 24- Nov 21)
You are primed for some sort of advancement in your career or a hobby you love could become lucrative for you if you talk to the right people. Attractive people are willing to partner with you this month for many reasons. You will have to remember that some relationships that hit you like lightening go away just as quickly as they appeared, and that not every potential partner becomes one who will stick around. The sun and Venus in your marriage house may have you thinking about commitment. People who are working in the same or a similar field as you, or people you meet though work, are great for hooking up with this month. Just be sure to use good judgment and only get involved with people you know want the same thing out of a relationship as you do. You don’t want to end up regretting a poorly thought-out or impulsive office romance (or any potential romance, for that matter).

SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22- Dec 21)
Sagittarians might want to keep their eyes open for attractive people who work in the health, and animal-related fields. Not all of your potential partners would live near by. You can make a great connection on the web, possibly with someone who you thought of as only a casual acquaintance before May began. If you have already started talking to someone new and think that you are compatible, you are right, but take it slow. This is a very changeable month for you and you will probably meet several new people whose company you enjoy. You will also probably meet someone who talks a lot. That’s ok, because you like the person, you find him or her amusing, and you value what he or she has to say. Talkative people and people who can give you advice about your financial status are good bets for now.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22- Jan 19)
You will assert yourself and share your opinions on some very heavy topics this month, Cap. Romantic prospects and new acquaintances enjoy your openness, your attention to detail, your honesty, and your unique brand of Capricornian humor (which is usually sarcastic and dry). You are in the mood for fun and frolic, with Venus dancing through your house of romance and games, and Jupiter playing along. Don’t go overboard, though. Spending just the right amount on games of chance and involvement in speculative ventures requires discipline. All partners, whether they be financial or romantic ones, have strong opinions. They say they are only looking out for your own good, and they really are. Don’t take anything they say to heart.

AQUARIUS (Jan 20- Feb 20)
Relationships take on deeper meaning this month. You may even fall in love, or fall in love all over again. Is it possible that you are growing roots? Maybe you think about it, but only time will tell if you are really one to settle down and stay there. Lively conversation can turn into much more than that, especially with someone you like to spar with. You are being asked to take initiative in all types of relationship matters this month.
If you have time on your hands, look around your home to see what things of value you have. You will keep some, but some can net you a little pocket change. By the end of this month you will be the center of people’s attention, as well as attractive and in-demand.

PISCES (Feb 21- March 20)
You are going to crave flexibility in May, Pisces. You usually take lots of responsibility on for others (especially emotionally), but you’ll be thinking about changing the landscape a little. Travel would do you good, and your trip does not have to be long on time and distance. You can try out the butterfly suit for a while and go social on the local scene. Your best places you can go to see sparks fly: anywhere you would enjoy wildlife, and anywhere you can use your compassion to help others. Whether it be among a group of people with whom you start working toward a common goal, or among people who are lending you a hand, relationships will be fruitful this month. At the very end of the month, you feel like curling up at home with someone special.

Monday, April 21, 2008

Guys that get manicures and pedicures

I was meeting a a friend at Governors Comedy Club last week and arrived a little early. I walked over to bar area and overheard this guy complaining to the bartender about how he was unhappy with the service he received at at xyz company. The bartender seemed to agree with him entirely. So what was he unhappy about? XYZ was an Asian nail salon and the guy got a manicure and pedicure. He was unhappy that they only used one coat of clear polish instead of two.

More and more I hear about the "Metrosexual man" and would like to know what the ladies think about this. Is it a turn on or turn off?

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Identity theft

This section usually would usually have an article or something relating to singles/dating, but I am going to discuss an unrelated serious topic, Identity theft.

A gal I am friendly with recently had her identify stolen by a Nigerian fraud ring and is going through he** trying to get her name back. Apparently her computer was hacked and a fraudster was able to take control remotely. Some type of virius was downloaded without her knowledge and a keystroke recorder was installed. The fraudster got hold of her id and passwords for her bank accounts online and other personal information. So now, she is trying to get her name back.

So what are some things you can do to protect yourself?

  • Anti-Virus protection: Seems pretty obvious, but some of you reading this right now do not have any type of anti-virus protection. GET SOME

  • Passwords: Dont use your Social Security Number or make all of your passwords the same for different services.

  • Using your credit card online: Make sure the site you are checking out from has a little lock in the right hand corner. This will indicate that you are checking out through a secure server. Some sites do not have the lock, but you can tell that you are checking out through a secure server because the http turns to https (look at your internet browser line).

  • Get an identity protection service. I personally use LifeLock (see link above), but there are many other services out there all that cost about the same, (about $10 a month). Basically they set alerts on your credit file with the major bureaus and you are notified if any type of new account attempt is opened. It can also be a pain in the ass sometimes, but the tradeoff is worth it.

    The building I live in recently became wired for Verizon Fios, so I called to set up an account. They took all my vitals including my social security number (they run your credit before issuing you an account) and I set up an installation appointment for a few days later. The next day I got a call from Verizon who said they could not process my order because there was a flag on my account and in order to get the service, I had to fax over two forms of identity. I never got around to sending in the proof of identity, so my order was cancelled. I will get around to it again eventually , and although having to jump through an additional hoop is a pain, it is worth it.

If you do decide to use LifeLock, either click the banner above or use the discount code FaceToFace and you will save 10% on the listed rates.

Monday, April 14, 2008

I like the other gal

Dear Jay:

I had attended one of your single mingle events a few months back and have a dilemma. I was chatting with Sarah at the event and she took my number. She was nice and all, but I was really much more interested in her girlfriend Margaret, who also had attended the event.

Margaret let me know that she was also interested, but could not pursue anything with me because I had already given my number to Sarah. What should I do? I had just met them that night, so it is not like I was dating either of them, but I really would like to get to know Margaret better. Perhaps one of your readers has some advice.



Hmm, this sounds like the episode from Seinfeld called "the switch." Any real life George Costanza's out there who can give some advice here? Please post your comments in the blog

Thursday, April 10, 2008

What to ask at a speed dating event

So what can you really know about someone in 5 minutes? Plenty, if you ask the right questions. Remember, your goal is to help determine who you would potentially like to get to know better. Consider it a screening process to help you set up future dates. I also suggest throwing in some deal breaker questions that are important to you.

  • What are you most passionate about? This will really help give you an idea about the person's interest and personality. Are they an avid boater, love to cook, are a thrill seeker? This is a much better question than "what do you like to do for fun?" which will result in many of the same old answers.

    *What are your all time favorite movies? Again, this may help give you a sense about what makes this person tick. Are they a romantic at heart and tell you a movie like Titanic, a slapstick type who answers with Jim Carey films, into old time classics like Casablanca? This is a better question then "what kind of movies do you like?"

    *What radio stations are preset on your car stereo? or Who is your favorite musician? This may give you some insight at to whether you have similar tastes in music.

    *Do you have pets? like pets? I am in the minority as far as guys go, in that I like cats, and have two little monsters that keep me up at night. If I ask this question and get a response that "I am deathly allergic to cats", then I know this woman is not right for me. If pets are an important issue to you, then ask this question.

    *Are you a smoker? This is another good deal breaker question. I hate cigarette smoke and owe it all to the first gal I ever kissed, Sue. I was a late bloomer and my first kiss happened when I was 17 years old at Taco Bell in Franklin Square. It put such a nasty taste in my mouth that I never picked up a cigarette and would not want to date someone who smokes (unless they were seriously trying to quit). I also lost some family members to lung cancer so this is a dealbreaker for me. If smoking habits are important to you, then ask about it.

    *Do you have kids/want kids? Maybe you do not want to date someone who has kids? If so, you can ask whether the person has any children. A better question may be "tell me about your family?" If the person responds and talks about their kids, then you get the information you need.

Sunday, April 06, 2008

Date Guide: Where to go on a date

Where to go on a date?- Restaurant/Activity Resource Guide

*Nassau County Restaurants
*Nassau County-Not restaurant

*Suffolk County Restaurants
*Suffolk County- Not restaurant

*Queens County Restaurants
*Queens County-Not restaurants

*Manhattan Restaurants
*Manhattan- Not restaurants

*Brooklyn Restaurants
*Brooklyn- Not restaurant

*Bronx and Westchester Restaurants
*Bronx and Westchester- Not restaurants

*Staten Island and New Jersey Restaurants
*Staten Island and New Jersey- Not restaurants

Date Ideas: Staten Island and New Jersey (not restaurants)

Have an idea for a New Jersey great date place that is not a restaurant. Share it here!

Date Ideas: Bronx and Westchester (not restaurants)

Have an idea for a Bronx or Westchester great date place? Share it here.

Date Ideas: Brooklyn- Not resturants

Have a date idea for something to do in Brooklyn that is not a restaurant. Post it here and share with other singles.

Date Ideas: Manhattan (not restaurants)

Have a date idea for something to do in Manhattan that is not a restaurant. Post it here and share with other singles.

Date Ideas: Queens County (not restaurant)

Have an idea for a great date place in Queens County (that is not a restaurant). Post it here and share with other singles.

Date Ideas; Suffolk County (not restaurants)

Have an idea for a great date place in Suffolk County (that is not a restaurant). Post it here and share with other singles.

Date Ideas; Nassau County (not restaurants)

Brokerage Comedy Club
2797 Merrick Rd Bellmore, NY
(516) 781-LAFF
Comedy Club

User comment: Always a great place to go on a first date! The food is fantastic too..

Dave & Busters
1504 Old Country Rd Westbury, NY(516) 542-8501
RestaurantVideo GamesBilliardsBowling

User comment: There is just so much to do at Dave and Busters. Nice place to go on a date, but the cost can sneak up on you pretty quickly.

Date Ideas: Staten Island and New Jersey Restaurants

Have a recommendation for a Staten Island or New Jersey Restaurant Date Idea? Post it here

Date Ideas: Bronx & Westchester Restaurants

Have a recommendation for a Bronx or Westchester Restaurant Date Idea? Post it here

Date Ideas: Brooklyn Restaurants

Have a recommendation for a Brooklyn Restaurant Date Idea? Post it here

Date Ideas: Manhattan Restaurants

Asia de Cuba at Morgans
237 Madison AvenueNew York, NY (212) 726-7755
Website Menu
Asian & Cuban

User comment:
Real eclectic decor - great music- lively -
Wonderful combo of Asian & Cuban food- Must have reservation- Always packed after work-

Fleur de Sel
5 East 20th StreetNew York, New York (212) 460-9100
Website Menu

User comment: This is my favorite restaurant. It is exquisite food, great service , quiet, classy ambiance. Every course is an experience - on the way out, they handed us a little bag with cookies - It was quite memorable-You don't feel rushed at all- need reservation-

240 W 54th St, New York, New York (212) 765-5454
Website Menu
Mexican, Southwestern

User comment: It has a very nice ambiance and very spacious. Its conveniently located midtown Specialized in Mexican/Spanish. Amazing Margaritas and Mojitis too. If you feel adventurous, there is dancing downstairs, but only on certain nights. You can check out the menu on menupages .com. I Highly recommend the frozen Apple Martini and the chicken taquitos, and the Steak salad.

859 9th Ave
New York, New York@ 56th Street
(212) 581-4177
Website Menu

User comment: Very nice atmosphere and very good reasonably priced food. Very friendly and attentive waiters. In my experience less hectic on Sat. night than Friday.

645 9th AveNew York, New York@ 45th Street 212-957-9197
Website Menu

User comment: Very cool lounge atmosphere, most seating is for (2),great appetizers and cocktails..Gets lively at night (after 10). People kind of dance to the music even though there is no dance floor, but still fun! I had several fun dates here.

Date Ideas: Queens County Restaurants

Sly Fox Inn
177-23 Union TkpeFlushing NY 11366
(718) 969-8169Website
American Contemporary

User comment: Sly Fox has a great deal on a comedy show and dinner for a fixed price. The food was delicious and both me and my date had a great time. It is more of a comfortable relaxed environment in the restaurant. They also have another section where it is more of a bar with booths, tables and tv screens. After dinner we stayed for the dancing.

Irish Cottage
Irish Cottage
10807 72nd Ave Forest Hills, NY
(718) 268-1329

User comment: They are located between QB and Austin ST. They are small and don't have a website and are not listed on menupages. Think typical Irish pub cuisine and great salads, and the best homemade unsweetened ices tea.. Its a very cute, quaint country atmosphere, with nice quiet tables where you can talk and hear each other, and pretty decent food/bar. Staff is authentic Irish and very friendly as well. They have Irish coffee and dessert too. Good for a nice lunch as well.

1 Station SquareForest Hills NY (718) 793-2203

User comment: Jade is new and trendy has good Asian Fusion food, but a little pricey. It really has a Man. lounge scene feel and is spacious-good music too.. The bar is pretty hopping as well, but not so loud that you can't hear each other and there is a small dance floor that opens up later in the evening. They have lots of free shot tasting's and drink specials too. Check it out. You really do forget you are in Queens. They don't appear to have a web site and not listed on menu pages, but I have the menu and can vouch for the food

Date Ideas: Suffolk County Restaurants

766 Route 25aEast Setauket, NY

User comment:
Bliss in Setauket is a very nice restaurant. Located on Rt 25a, just east of Nicolls Rd. A little pricey, but quiet, romantic setting & the staff are very helpful. If you just want drinks the bar has a separate Tapas/appetizer menu not available in the dining room.

Tommy's Place
42 Broadway
Rocky Point, NY (631) 209-1900

User comment:
Tommy's Place in both Port Jefferson & Rocky Point. Casual place for dinner, inexpensive. You can order appetizers at the bar if you choose. He usually has music at the Rocky Point location on Friday nights. I believe in Port Jefferson music is outside only during the summer months. It is more of a pub/bar feel.

Bistro Cassis
55 Wall Street
Huntington, NY(631) 421 4122

User comment:
They just opened another branch in Plainview- South Oyster Road and Woodbury Rd-
Great food- very french atmosphere- Service with a smile. You would try anything on the menu and you can't go wrong.

Date Ideas- Nassau County Restaurants

1885 Wantagh Ave Wantagh, NY 11793
(516) 781-2700
American Contemporary

User comment: A good restaurant to go to on a date is Hemingway's on Wantagh Ave in Wantagh - just north of the LIRR station. It is a casual & comfortable restaurant, reasonably priced. It has been there for years. They have a nice long mahogany bar for an after dinner drink. On a Saturday night you will find mostly couples at the bar, so you don't feel like you are on a date in the middle of the singles scene. It usually gets a pretty good crowd, so I would recommend doing dinner there around 8pm. Waitstaff/bartenders are all very friendly.

The Melting Pot
2377 Broadhollow Rd. (Route 110)Farmingdale, NY 11735
(631) 752-4242

User comment:This place was a lot of fun. It was very interactive and made for a very memorable first date.

1504 Old Country RoadWestbury NY, 11590(516) 222-8000
Other locations in PortWashington, Baldwin,Plainview and Rockville Centre

User comment:
I recommend Ayans Shis-kabab restaurant. They have a number of restaurants on Long Island. The atmosphere is nice, food is good and reasonably priced.

Stresa East
7940 Jericho TkpeWoodbury, NY (516) 364-1565
Other location in Manhasset

User comment: Quiet - Classy - you can chose any quiet corner - you will not be disturbed except to be served- Service with a smile- For lunch, try the Grilled Shrimp Salad with a fine glass of chardonnay-

Simply Thai
274 Merrick RdRockville Centre NY 516-255-9340

User comment:
If two people are into Thai food, I highly recommend Simply Thai on the corner of Merrick Road and Park Avenue in Rockville Centre. This restaurant has the best Thai food on Long Island. The food is fresh and delicious and the wait staff is very friendly. Try a Thai Iced tea.

Sagamore Steak House
650 Jericho TurnpikeSyosset, NY 11791516-496-8000

User comment:
Hey Jay- I love Sagamore Steakhouse in Syosset.. The atmosphere is very nice and the food is excellent. It is a little pricey but well worth it.

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Separated vs. Divorced- Policy issue

Occasionally, I will get a call from someone who is separated and going through a divorce. They will ask if it is ok for them to attend a speed dating or singles event. My answer has been that if the divorce process is in the works and their is NO chance that they are going to get back with the soon to be ex-spouse, then it would be ok for them to attend as long as they are honest with the people they meet at the singles event. If they are not sure if they will get back with the ex and are temporarily separated, then it is NOT appropriate for them to attend a singles event.

At a recent event, a participant was not happy when they found out that one of the other participants was separated and not divorced. They felt that someone in the process of a divorce was not mentally ready to move on and be open to a new committed relationship since much of the focus would still be on trying to tie up the loose ends with the soon to be ex. They asked that separated people not be allowed to participate in any future events.