Monday, March 21, 2011

Stuck in a dating rut?

Are You Stuck in a Dating Rut?

If you’ve been looking for love, but striking out every time, then you may be stuck in what experts call a “dating rut.” That’s when your bad luck with dating has more to do with your attitude than with the people you’re meeting! So, here are some tips to help you get out of the most common dating ruts:

•Rut #1: You think dating’s a waste of time because you never feel sparks. Dr. Laurie Helgoe is a psychologist who says don’t confuse a neutral reaction with a negative one. In other words, it’s one thing to give up on a date because you don’t like the person, but if you’re walking away because you don’t feel instant chemistry, then stop! Dr. Helgoe says put your “romance radar” on hold for now, and focus on being friends first. The sparks may come later.

•Dating Rut #2: The people you date never live up to your expectations. Thanks to online dating profiles, experts say a lot of people focus on a date’s “résumé,” and not on how the person makes them feel. As any hiring manager can tell you, perfect résumés never guarantee perfect hires! So focus on dates who make you feel your happiest – regardless of what they look like, what they do or how much money they make.

•The next Dating Rut: You never meet anyone with long-term potential. Dr. Helgoe has two words for you: “slow down.” You need to remember that a date is not a marriage proposal! So don’t obsess about how many kids you might have together five minutes into your first dinner date. Enjoy each date for what it is – a chance to get to know somebody, and have a good time.

•One more Dating Rut: You’re convinced all the “good ones” are taken already. Our expert says unlike what you see in the movies, the best romances don’t involve being swept off your feet by princes who live in castles. In fact, they’re more likely to involve people closer to home –even if it’s the neighbor you always have great conversations with while taking out the trash! The lesson? The “good ones” are everywhere. You just have to open your mind to seeing them.