Monday, March 21, 2011

Stuck in a dating rut?

Are You Stuck in a Dating Rut?

If you’ve been looking for love, but striking out every time, then you may be stuck in what experts call a “dating rut.” That’s when your bad luck with dating has more to do with your attitude than with the people you’re meeting! So, here are some tips to help you get out of the most common dating ruts:

•Rut #1: You think dating’s a waste of time because you never feel sparks. Dr. Laurie Helgoe is a psychologist who says don’t confuse a neutral reaction with a negative one. In other words, it’s one thing to give up on a date because you don’t like the person, but if you’re walking away because you don’t feel instant chemistry, then stop! Dr. Helgoe says put your “romance radar” on hold for now, and focus on being friends first. The sparks may come later.

•Dating Rut #2: The people you date never live up to your expectations. Thanks to online dating profiles, experts say a lot of people focus on a date’s “résumé,” and not on how the person makes them feel. As any hiring manager can tell you, perfect résumés never guarantee perfect hires! So focus on dates who make you feel your happiest – regardless of what they look like, what they do or how much money they make.

•The next Dating Rut: You never meet anyone with long-term potential. Dr. Helgoe has two words for you: “slow down.” You need to remember that a date is not a marriage proposal! So don’t obsess about how many kids you might have together five minutes into your first dinner date. Enjoy each date for what it is – a chance to get to know somebody, and have a good time.

•One more Dating Rut: You’re convinced all the “good ones” are taken already. Our expert says unlike what you see in the movies, the best romances don’t involve being swept off your feet by princes who live in castles. In fact, they’re more likely to involve people closer to home –even if it’s the neighbor you always have great conversations with while taking out the trash! The lesson? The “good ones” are everywhere. You just have to open your mind to seeing them.

Tuesday, February 01, 2011

What Do Men and Women Really Think About Dating?


Yahoo Shine conducted a survey of over 2,000 people about everything from the perfect date, to whether chivalry is dead. Here are the answers:

•First, what do men and women want most in a relationship? It’s not looks. That was tied for #3 with shared interests and hobbies. #2 on the must-have dating list is brains, and #1 is personality.

•Another result of the dating survey: Men and women like different types of dates. Women prefer dates involving an activity, like bowling, hiking or going to the movies, while men prefer dinner and drinks, especially in the early stages of a relationship.

•Also: Chivalry is not dead. Half of the women surveyed said that chivalry “didn’t matter much” to them, but 69% of men consider themselves old-fashioned gentlemen, and are more than willing to open the door, and pick up the check.

•Another survey discovery: Men spend an average of $80 on a date – which is twice as much as women do when they pick up the tab. However, more women than ever are willing to split the bill after the third date.

•Both men and women said that dating is more complicated than ever. You have to pay attention to how you look and act while you’re on a date, but the way you present yourself online can also affect your love life. In fact, almost half of the respondents said they make the first move by “friending” someone they’re interested in on Facebook, and then make judgments based on what’s in the profile.

•Also, before your first date, you can bet you’ve been scoped out on Facebook, and that your date has Googled your name to see what kind of information is available about you on the Internet.

•Men and women both say that staying in touch via Facebook is fine, but 75% prefer a post first-date follow-up by phone. That means a call, not a text. Most of them want to hear from you within three days.

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Friday, January 07, 2011

Women confusing men

The content comes from

Ladies, You’re Baffling The Guys in Your Life!

Gals, you are conveying a large amount of mixed messages - and puzzling us men. You desire to be the boss, at work and at home. You desire to be self-reliant and equal. But, when it reaches romance, you prefer it old fashioned, where the person in your life gives you flowers and jewellery, plans your dates, chooses the eating places, picks up the tab, plus holds the door for you. That’s leaving a considerable amount of men confused.

Dr. Tara Sommer, a professor from the University of Nevada, affirms regardless of how commanding and self-reliant a lady is, she still wants to be pursued, protected and cared for. Why? Because being wooed ties into age-old instincts - and boosts ranges of feel-good and bonding hormones, like dopamine and oxytocin. Each time a man brings you flowers, or drives you to your airport, it displays he’s taking good care of you, and women who are tough in the office may experience much more of a need to be treated like a lady at home.

The picture of old-fashioned romance can be drilled into our heads through our father and mother, links, ads, movie channels, plus realism shows like “The Bachelor.” Technology has made everything less romantic - with dates being replaced with offers to “hang out” plus letters being replaced by text. Since the 70s, men have learned to treat women as equals.

So they worry that if he takes her coat, or insists on paying for dinner, the woman may feel insulted!

So, what’s the fix? Professor Sommer affirms it’s easy. Don’t make men guess what you fancy. Instead, converse your expectations. Say, more often than not, that you aspire to be equivalent partners plus contribute to the load, but on date nights and extraordinary events, you’d like him to take the lead.

Long Island Singles; Speed Dating NY NY