From Tesh.com
You Could Be Sabotaging Your Own Love Life
Are you destroying your own love life? It’s natural to blame your single status on the “lack” of good men or women out there, but the truth is - YOU might be doing a few key things that can sabotage your chances at romance. Here they are, courtesy of Condé Nast Publications.
Drinking too much on a date. A study from Loyola Marymount University found that 71% of people drink more on dates than they normally would. So think about these questions: Do you feel more attractive when you drink? Do you start drinking before a date? Does drinking make you feel attracted to people you wouldn’t otherwise be drawn to? If you answer yes to any of these, experts say you should think about stopping after one drink. Otherwise you could be giving your dates the wrong impression, or making decisions that aren’t in your best interest.
Next bad move: You over-rely on technology, like Facebook, matchmaking sites, or texting. According to relationship psychologist Logan Levkoff, there are so many ways to meet and communicate with people electronically that we can forget how to express ourselves when face-to-face. So, rather than relying on gadgets to send a perfectly crafted message, she says you need to get out and interact with people. Meeting online is fine, but don’t rely on your electronic presence. All of that technology will absorb your time and emotional energy, and you won’t be as engaging in real-life situations.
One last thing that may be sabotaging your love life: You pick unavailable partners. Dr. Lissa Coffee is a sociologist and relationship coach. She says that people who lack confidence are often drawn to distant men or women, because they feel that if someone shows real interest in them - there must be something wrong with them. Like the famous line, “I don’t want to be part of any club that would have me as a member.” Or maybe you think an unavailable person won’t ever get close enough to hurt you. Coffee says the key to picking the right partner is keeping the qualities you want in mind at all times. If you think “loyal” or “sensitive” when you set out to meet someone, your instincts will guide you to that type of mate.
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4 comments:
If you're sabotaging your love life, it only means that subconsciously, you really don't what or need someone else to rley on, and should just move on with your life. For some people, it's good not to get involved in this charade of romance that the corporate world has created to make people think they have to be in a relationship so their money can be pumped into the economy...
Having one or two drinks before a date can be good, or maybe not so good, depending on how you look at it. It can be good, because if your confidence as a man (woman) is low, (tend to be shy) it can help your true personality come out. This is key to making that fantastic first impression on that gal or guy of your interest. Alcohol tends to act as a social lubricant..it's been used for thousands of years in this manner.
On the other hand , using alcohol on a regular basis for dating(to relax before)might not be such a great idea because you are not building confidence on your own. You are using the alcohol to help you come outside of your shell. Best bet.. go on lot's of dates(till you find that special someone)and learn to become more social in general.
Chances are that if you are getting first and second date butterflies you're not getting out there enough. Quick tip.. learning to strike up short, quick friendly convos with everyone is a short cut to building your social confidence and will transfer into your dating life. Afraid to talk to strangers?? Start small, even if it's something as short as "Nice day, is it suppose to rain tomorrow?" Do this with people when you are out, and in a few months you'll be a pro and you'll be surprised how you're love live will grow to :)
so simple to write all that, Jeff, isn't it?
I feel that there many ways of sabotaging yourself. if you are sabotaging yourself it MAY mean that subconsciously you arent ready to date.
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