Sunday, April 11, 2010

Getting over a break up.

This is an article I found on the internet.  didnt write it myself.
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Breaking up is not easy - especially if you have to stop seeing someone who you really like and care about. Losing someone special inevitably breaks one's heart and learning how to heal that broken heart is very important to our emotional health and to our ability to return to enjoying dating life promptly.



Indeed, we often have no choice but never see each other again, and therefore it's worth knowing how to get over those break ups and continue moving forward with our lives with the right mindset.



Here are the steps you can and you should take in order to get over any break-up quicker and in a more healthy manner:



1. Avoid harboring hope that you and your ex-partner will get back together. This is a crucial time when you must demonstrate strength and reluctance in letting those thoughts get into your head. Being strong now will most certainly pay off in the future.



2. Stop reminiscing on the wonderful times that you and your ex had while you were together. Such memories do nothing good to you but only aggravate your pain and prolong your recovery.



3. Stop thinking that your ex was one of a kind person. No matter how special he/she was, your next love will be also special in its own, unique way - this is just the reality of how love works.



4. Realize and truly believe that whatever happens, happens for a reason and for your own best. This includes break-ups. Think about it - most people who lose jobs eventually find a better one. The same applies to relationships. If you were taken out of your recent relationship by some great force, perhaps that force is trying to take you out of that relationship and put you back into the market, so that you start looking for and find a better partner.



5. Perceive your recent break-up as a great opportunity to learn how to deal with such experiences and become a stronger and a more mature individual.



6. Do not perceive your lost relationship as a waste of time. Be greatful! Be greatful for having been granted the joy of love and affection with your former partner as long as it lasted and don't forget that some things are probably just not meant to last. There is no insurance against breaking up whether you have been together for a month or for 20 years.



7. If you believe that you made certain mistakes in your recent relationship, whether they were the ones that caused the break-up or not, make sure you learn from those mistakes and move forward as a person who possesses a better understanding of himself and his interactions with romantic partners, and make sure that you don't make the same mistakes in the future.



8. Lastly, continue living! Pursue your professional and social goals and don't leave much space for boredom in your life. This is not the right time to "relax." You will have plenty of time to relax once you are over your ex and perhaps once you met someone new.



Breaking up is hard, but it can be a positive experience if you allow it to be. It can make you grow and become a stronger and a more attractive person. Make sure you take advantage of those valuable life lessons!



Further, it is important that you remember that the pain of breaking up is an emotion, and as such, it will not go away overnight. It will take time for it to go away. But with conscious effort of keeping in mind the above points, you can make the process of overcoming and recovering from the break-up much faster and easier.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thanks for posting this. It came at the right time for me. Breaking up is never easy to go through. Could you maybe post a blog asking why it is that men seem to move on faster than women? I just saw my ex at a mutual friend's party, and it was quite awkward. And he brought a date with him! We broke up a month ago! How is it that he moved on so quickly??

Anonymous said...

I really honestly believe that women are stronger and more independent then men. Through my experiences and my friends, it always seem that the men are afraid to be alone. They seem to leave only when they already have someone or move on right away. They are afraid to be alone. I really believe the saying that women are stronger then men in all aspects (Remember the old sayig: Men could never bare the pain of having children!!).

Anonymous said...

Thanks I needed this 20 years ago...I have been divorce for 7 years and within that time my ex and I have tried to get back together for us and the family and once again he cheated many times and i feel the same pain but this posting helped and now I need him to get out of the home again>>>