How to Communicate with a Man

Here are some proven ways to get your point across – and get what you want. These tips come from Oprah’s “O” magazine.

The best way to tell a man you’re interested – without sounding desperate – is to use the word “maybe.” In other words, “Maybe we should get together,” or “Maybe we should get a cup of coffee.” Why? There’s enough “yes” in “maybe” to keep a man from feeling rejected and enough “no” to keep him challenged. Think of it as a dance. Give him an opening – and then let him take the lead. W. Bruce Cameron, author of How to Remodel a Man, says whether it’s a first date or your 30th anniversary, a man likes to think every move is his idea! I know it may sound old-fashioned or sexist, but that’s what his research found to be true.

When you’re having an argument, know this: No matter what you’re arguing about, guys want to be right. Cameron says it’s a weakness you can use against men and saying “You’re right” is the verbal equivalent of tranquilizing a rampaging elephant. It gives him what he wants, reduces tension, and paves the way for you to get what you want. For example, say you want to go to a party, but your boyfriend wants to skip it because he doesn’t know anybody, and hates feeling like an outsider.Try saying: “You’re right, but I still want to go to the party with you.” It’s a win-win situation. He gets to hear he’s right but you still get your point across about the party.

When you need something done, don’t make it an order. For example, if your shower won’t stop dripping, don’t say, “Fix the drip in the shower already!” – that’s an order. Instead, let him be in charge of solving the problem. Try saying: “The leak in the shower’s driving me crazy. What should we do?” His response will probably be, “I’ll take a look after dinner.” Bottom line: Men love to be in charge and show off their skills – but they don’t like being told what to do. If you’d like to go further, the book is: How to Remodel a Man by W. Bruce Cameron.