So last week I posted the following in the newsletter
For the past 5.5 years, one specific age bracket has given me fits! Women 44-56 and Guys 48-62.
Why?? There are so many attractive great ladies for this event who want to do this event, but they outnumber the guys on my mailing list at about a ratio of 3 or 4 to one. That is why this age bracket always gets sold out so fast for women. So where do these good guys go? For whatever reason, many guys in this bracket are reluctant to try speed dating. So here is a special promotion for you.
Know a single guy (first time customer only) who would be a great candidate to go to this event, but needs a little coaxing? If you help convince him to go, you keep 100% of his admission fee. Tell your guy friend about the event and when he is ready to register, YOU call me at 718-757-6933 to let me know the referral will come from you. I will take your vital information, and if your guy friend registers you will receive a check for the full amount he paid. Note: You must call me prior to your friend making a reservation, not afterwards.
I received two noteworthy responses provided below
Response #1 from a woman
suggestion: why not lower the age of the men? What's wrong with younger men and older women? It's pretty sexist that you have the "corresponding" age groups at different ages in the first place. Any woman in her late 40's or early 50's gets approached by younger men all the time.....
What Jay wrote back
Hi, I hear you loud and clear and agree with you. The problem is that the number one question I get from the guys and the women for that matter is "how old are the people attending". 80% of the guys are looking for a younger woman, or at least so they say, where 50% of the women I speak with are looking for a younger woman.
Once people arrive at the event, it makes no difference how old people are, just whether there is any chemistry. However, in order to get the guys to register in the first place, the majority of the men want to hear that the women will be younger. We will not mislead people on the age groups and continue to require proof of age.
I have tried events in the past where the ages were the same for that bracket, and I had to cancel because I had almost no men.
So I hear you and agree with you, just that without skewing the ages, I have been unsuccessful in having any successful events.
Thanks again for your comments.
Response #2 from a Guy (Ladies you will not like this)
Jay,
The reason why men in this age bracket do not want to go to speed dating is very simple. These men are older and wiser and do not want to take the bullshit of having a "girlfriend" any more...it just isn't worth the headache. These older women are heavier, more wrinkles, want less sex and still think that men are out there to kiss their ass (which aint happening). At a speed dating event, these woman are sitting there thinking that all 12 men are dying to be with them (which isn't so). Men are tired of the three C's of woman ("controlling", "conniving" and always trying to "change" men). Men don't want these old xxxx anymore. You should have speed dating for "older men and "younger women"!
Sincerely,
RG
Jay's two cents and another guys comments
The above comment is quite harsh in my opinion and stereotypical. That being said, I thought it was best to leave the comment in it's original format and after getting permission from the author, open this up for debate.
I will be honest and say that I have met some women in their 50's at my my events who are in better shape and more attractive than some women in their 30's.
I reached out to a gentleman named "Bob" who has been coming to my events for a while and recently met a woman who he has really hit it off with. Bob is 49 and only came to the events where he could meet a woman a little younger (women 37-47; guys 40-52). Well about 4 months ago, Bob came to an event where the women could be a little older (women 44-56; guys 47-62)
I will tell you that Bob has not been back to one of my events since. He met a great woman that he is getting to know and is very happy. I called Bob for a comment on how he is doing and what he thought of the comment from the other guy.
Bob said " I have very happy I decided to go the event. I met "Sally. She is 5 or 6 years older than I am, and you wouldn't even think it. She goes to the gym, watches her figure, and is in better shape than some women in their 30's. Sally has a good heart, is down to earth, goes out of her way for me left and right. She cooks for me and treats me like a king. I have to laugh about what I did to deserve this.
It sounds to me that the guy who made those comments is frustrated because he has not met the right person. It is not fair to stereotype. There are many men in their late 40's, 50's and above that whole heartedly really want to meet someone for companionship. "
20 comments:
Jay,
Hi- How are you- you know me, I have been to many of your events in 2007 but none in 2008. I am 48 years old. I met a 50 year old woman about 10 months ago- and have been seeing her exclusively ever since. . (No, I did not meet her at one of your events but that is not the point. In fact I was VERY unsuccessful at speeddating, but never had any problem meeting women at all other social events. I would tell you off-line where I met her)
My point is that age really is no issue, I would not trade my 50 year old love for anyone of any age. When it is right it is right. I would like to get married. (she is hesitant believe it or not. We both never have been married, so maybe time will tell).
As far as not getting men in that age group to show up, I can understand why. Reason number one, there are plenty of women out there from 30 to 60 who I could approach in many venues and various activities, I did not need to be grilled in a 20 question style shootout. I think we "older" guys are finally much wiser and don't need that as an option. Also, I think most guys are not going to consciously sign up for an older woman- would consciously pick the younger woman. It is a societal thing or may be inbred in some way, I don't know. Given that I look younger than I am, and I'm sure the same for many woman, it would be nice if we could evaluate each other without the bias of age. I would advise everyone to be VERY openminded about age. You NEVER know! But I guess you have to have some type of rules- and you will never satisfy everyone!
Maybe I'll stop by to say hello, you will know who I am.
Sincerely,
EM
I feel sad for this man and many others. They are missing so many good, kind, artidculate, humorous caring, decent, and attractive and sexsy women. So many of us our not out to "trap" you. We don't efen think most of you are worth it. But, many of us would like a good, caring, active, fun man to enjoy things with. The pickings are slim. So many men are not men. Yes, I found one - a rarity. But, I wasn't willing to settle. Wehn a man is decent and kind and good to me, I treat him like a king. We have fun, respect and a nice life.
Yes, Jay your articles are so sexist, I just laugh. We don't need to tead books on "cathcing" men and we don't sit by the phone waiting for them to call. We do things with our frineds, family, develp hobbies, volunteer and enjoy life. You make it sound like because men don't come to speed dating is we can't survive. Many men don't come because they can']t articulate, are home on line looking for bigger and better, or they are lazy or afraid. Many can't communicate. You have caused a war between older man and women. It doesn't have to be that way. It is a shame. It isl not all about looks, but to answer that man - you don't lthink men gt fat and wrinkly too? Get over yourself and you may be lucky enough to some day meet a lovely lady.
that man is awful. he is a sad soul missing out on so much. i don't read the articles or even look anymore. we are not all hanging by a thread to catch a guy. haven't met one worth it yet. we have lost respect for ourselves and each other by these sexist articles. even another speed dating group remarks. many of these men would be priviledged to date us if they would or could show up. they have to many issues. we do our own thing without them. life is not all about waiting for men to sign up for speed dating. it has seen its day for those of us who appreciate the good and fun things and people in life. what a world!
OMG! Woman must be waiting in line for that charmer!! LOL BTW I know some young, thin, wrinkle free women for him. the problem? they want money, marriage and babies. TEE HEE Been there, done that .. older and wiser.
Hi Jay-
That sad pathetic sap of a man will probably be alone --for the remainder of his existence! And rightfully so. He sounds so bitter and deranged and such a walking cliche. There is not a woman in this world--whether she is 30 - or 50 that would be bothered with him, considering he is so blatantly ignorant. Very narrow-minded as well in his thoughts.
Anything worthwhile requires thought, initiative and work, and that includes relationships--as well as friendships. This man comes across as though he lacks social etiquette and the gracefulness that is required to interract with intelligent and emotionally mature women of ANY age.
When he writes: "These older women are heavier, more wrinkles, want less sex and still think that men are out there to kiss their ass (which aint happening)." That statement alone, demonstrates his lack of education and ability to communicate a thought effectively in a more diplomatic fashion.
Women are just as tired of encountering men that are "controlling, coniving and change mongers"...who isn't?
And most, if not all men in their 50's - even 40's have pot bellies, and wrinkles! It is part of the aging process for some people (both men and women). And sure, there are others who are more into fitness and look fantastic for their age and have more energy than the younger generation! Like, Jay said...it all comes down to chemistry.
And it IS quite obvious, that with a man such as the inadequate specimen that wrote in that inappropriate statement about older women, there is basically no chance of ever having that "chemistry" in this lifetime. He comes across too bitter and self-righteous.
He actually requires therapy, and is better off not showing up to any of these events. It would only hinder a social network business such as this one.
Just my $0.02! LOL
Hi Jay-
That guy is truly a "washed up", bitter old geezer, who probably can't meet women, or probably has never been able to meet women when he was younger--based on his attitude. What a troll...he is better off staying in his basement dwelling, and living the life of a hermit/recluse. Very socially inept if you ask me.
Young women and older women alike, prefer to surround themselves with positivity and someone who is upbeat and looks at the glass "half full", and has a more open mind.
He will probably wither away - alone--as he deserves to. hee hee
Hi Jay-
That guy is truly a "washed up", bitter old geezer, who probably can't meet women, or probably has never been able to meet women when he was younger--based on his attitude. What a troll...he is better off staying in his basement dwelling, and living the life of a hermit/recluse. Very socially inept if you ask me.
Young women and older women alike, prefer to surround themselves with positivity and someone who is upbeat and looks at the glass "half full", and has a more open mind.
He will probably wither away - alone--as he deserves to. hee hee
HA!! RG's last comment was funny. Why would great younger women be interested in self-absorbed, angry, beer-bellied wrinkly old guys? No way. They just don't have enough to offer. However, anger and animosity are the real deal-breakers.
We older women know better .. the only men you can change is one in diapers. And that lovely man will soon be a lonely, old man in diapers that no young chic will want to change.
Wrong, Jay .. I did like his comments. I needed a laugh for the day. Did he say "they want less sex"? Who would want any sex with a man that is calling a woman names?
BTW -The title of the article -says Why is it so difficult to GET a guy? Even that is sexist. We are not all trying to GET a guy. Some of us would like to meet and enjoy someone. We are not all trying to hook them.
Hey, Jay
From a guy.. tell that loser to buy a blow up doll. That is obviously all he is capable of. On second thought, that may be his problemn .. he can't perform and is angry.
It took a lot for me to learn that bveauty is skin deep.
Dear RG,
I admit to being in the age group that Jay asked about, but when I look in the mirror, or even at the people around me, I do not see the "wrinkles" you wrote about...what I see are laugh lines or life lines, but mostly laugh lines, because life is absolutely worth going through with as much laughter as one can muster.
I recall looking at photos of Mother Teresa when she was alive and seeing her very "wrinkled" face, all the while thinking that she was so beautiful. To live a life that makes the world a better place creates a true beauty that many people often miss.
My best friend and I have been friends for over forty years and we have been through everything...and one of the most important lessons we've learned is that if you can laugh at whatever life throws at you, you will survive. If that adds those nasty "wrinkles" you mentioned, then she and I wear them proudly.
And, RG, please know that if I ever do run into you...I will reach out and give you one big hug just because you and I share this earth, and "wrinkles" will never diminsh how very important we all are, no matter what age, no matter what gender, no matter what joy or sadness we carry.
The "outside" of a person has so much less value than the inside and when I speed date, I often miss the "looks" of the man seated across from me because beneath the skin is where one should seek a partner...in the heart and in the soul.
So laughlines, you are welcome to me...they prove I am still alive and laughing! And they serve to show me a woman of whom I am very proud.
Men- let RG have it. Show him a real man. You shouldn't want to be part of his gender. Go get him.
I think RG needs our prayers. He must be such an unhappy person. I have earned my lines and my extra few pounds. I take care of myself and look and feel great.
That guy sounds like a charmer. I am glad he chooses to stay home. So do I. Just no decent men here. I look good, feel good and treat a man well - one who deserves it. I have fun when I date. This guy is superficial and mean spirited and probably can't get a date. Go to a speed dating with an open mind, laugh and have fun. He will never know the secret of what older men have to offer. Oh boy!! Ladies, reat a good book not that sexist crap. Remember when men persued? When men were menand woman were woman. Our parent's generation had it right.
I think I met RG at one of your events. Does he live in Babylon?
Why don't men go? They don't communicate well, so avoid those situations. Some are too lazy, many are hone on line faatasizing, lying, drooling or searching for the perfect woman
Guy #2 is 100% WRONG. I am a 48 year old man divorced 4 years. The woman in the 44+ years-old age group are very passionate.
I think they want sex more than younger women. After you develop a relationship with women in that age group they will have sex 3, 4 5 times a day no problem.
They can not get their clothes off fast enough once they hit 40.
Trust me - I am telling the truth.
Maybe you have an attitude; maybe you have bad breath or something like that, because they want it all the time.
Go to Macy's, get some cologne, wear a nice shirt; don't be cheap; go to the Korean Deli and invest $8 on a bouquet of flowers and you will see that women from 40-50 know how the dating game works.
I have slept with 25 of them since I got divorced in 2004.
Sign Me: "C" - the smiling Pharmacist
Hi Jay, I'll have to say that some of what this man is saying is true but of course not all, what I'm going to say most women won't like either, but I've been in the dating scene unfortunately a long time and have way to much experience and believe me I'm not bragging!! Most of us if not all have a lot of baggage from past relationships topped off with childhood issues, and if these issues are not addressed they will show up in our choices as well as our behavior (attitudes) in the dating scene, that being said' I also have met quite a few women who have some serious shall we say attitudes towards men in general not only in speed dating but in the dating scene in general on line etc, etc, I used to work in night clubs and fortunately or unfortunately have experienced guite a bit of it. I am not taking sides here, its on both sides male/female. I'm a personal trainer and in the older group of 48-62, I stay in shape and have a hard time finding someone who does the same in our age group, maybe I just missed the one's Jay is talking about!! But I will say this to the women out there who are seeking the men or should I say boys who are ten to twenty years younger than themselfs, (this seems to be a trend going on with women I've never seen before), "be carefull" because I train a lot of them and if you heard what I heard from this guys (boys), you wound not only not date them you would probably have them locked up!! What they think of you ladies is not what you would want anyone to think or say out loud to anyone, let alone your children. Of course there are exceptions to every rule, but in my humbel opinon in this area, not many. Age really doesn't matter if the reasons for the relationship are honest and true, this I believe hole heartedly, but you can't regain your youth though someone else's youth, if doesn't work that way nor will it ever. Wishing everyone the best!
Sincerely AW
I guess I'll add my two cents here . . . I'm male, mid 40s, buff body . . . when I was in my mid 20s I used to hook up with older woman sometimes. Why? An honest answer - it was "easy" to bed them down compared to a younger lady. And, it was usually commitment free. A river takes the path of least resistance! On a less sexist note, I found many of these "older" women (now my age!) to be wonderful people.
Lastly, as for the fellow who posted the "harsh" comments, hey, cut the fellow some slack. He's been hurt. Haven't we all at one time or another?
Post a Comment