Tips for Smart Dating

By Judith and Jim
Dating can be a nightmare when you rely on old-fashioned ideas of what it means to be a “good date” - catering to the other person, worried about making a good impression, selling yourself short at every turn.
 
But when you follow these Tips for Smart Dating, you set yourself up to succeed on every date AND attract the right kind of person that you’re looking for and who’s looking for you.  
 
1. Beware of the person who comes on too fast.  Chances are he/she is “in love with love”—not you.  There is no such thing as intimacy at first sight.
 
2. Pay attention to your need for instant chemistry and don’t limit  yourself to falling only for “your type.”  You are probably caught up in the challenge of conquering someone who is not very available.
 
3. Avoid creating romantic scenarios during early dates.  Don’t play sexy music.  Stay away from darkly lit, elegant restaurants.  Wait a while before giving  flowers or gifts.  Find out more about the person to determine if you’re really interested.
 
4. Hold off on sex, even kissing.  If your relationship proves to be real, there will come a time when love-play actually means something.  Don’t confuse heat with heart.
 
5. Abandon the ritual of the man being the one to call, ask for the date, plan and pay. One of the best ways to protect against the traps of false romance is to make dating an equal opportunity event.  Share the asking, planning, paying and even driving.  Then you’re both on equal footing as competent, available adults.
 
6. Avoid trying to entertain or impress your family, friends and acquaintances with stories about your dates.  The drama of the story can confuse your perception of what really happened.
 
7. If you’ve just started dating someone, and you’re fantasizing about your future together, please stop.  That is only make-believe and will keep you off balance in reality.
 
8. Go on non-romantic dates—walks in the park, sports events, charity fundraisers, museums or bookstores.  The point is to get to know what your date is like in his or her real life.
 
9.Express your sincere feelings. If you enjoy being with someone, let them know. Then pay close attention to how your comments are received. When they are welcomed and reciprocated, then you can begin to explore what it actually means to each of you to be together. At the heart of Smart Dating, the truth really does set you free to create exactly the kind of relationship you really want.     
 
When you follow these nine tips for Smart Dating, you can relax and know that you are in charge of yourself and the positive outcome of every date you go on.   
 
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