Dear Jay:
I was hoping you can ask your readers this question. "Do women also walk around naked in the locker room at the gym?" I just don't get it. I go to the gym, head to the locker room to change, and there is always at least one naked guy who thinks he is in his home bathroom.
I understand if you are changing, but this goes way beyond. These guys are talking on the cell phones, or blow drying their hair, or having a conversation with some other guy, or shaving, all while buck naked.
No, I am not homo-phobic, but what would be so wrong with these guys wrapping a towel around themselves. I don't need to see there private parts!
I have always wondered if the same goes on in the women's locker room.
Sunday, December 10, 2006
Sunday, December 03, 2006
Sunday, October 29, 2006
Sunday, October 01, 2006
Do women want a nice guy?
I just came back from having a drink with two very attractive female friends, Jessica and Susan. While watching football, the conversation revolved around what women want in a man, the "nice guy" or the "bad boy." Susan said "all women will say that they want a nice guy, but the truth is that they really want the bad boy. We are just wired for that."Shortly after a "bad boy type" walked by and Jessica perked up in her seat as if she saw some candy. She then showed me some pictures of her ex and a guy she is kind of dating. Once again they had that "bad boy look." So the crux of the conversation was that women will say they want a nice guy, and they do, but not always. They want a challenge, and want a man to put them in their place at times. They do not want a doormat. This made me think of another personal experience that may explain why a woman went from cursing at me to wanting to kiss me.
About 8 months ago I did a mingle at the Cats Meow (now closed). Two women came in and said they were just dropping something off to the bartender and would not be staying, therefore did not want to pay the cover charge. About 40 minutes later I noticed they were mingling with the participants from the event. I approached them and told them that they were welcome to stay, but would have to pay the cover charge like everyone else. This resulted in a shouting match that turned ugly when one woman told me to stick the cover charge up my a**.
I am usually very polite at my events, but this was going to be an exception to that rule. Curses were flying and the shouting got heated. Rather than make any more of a scene, I backed off and went to find the manager. She told me the ladies were personal friends of hers and that the bar would take care of the cover, so I let it go. About 40 minutes later I approached the woman from the shouting match to clear the air, so everyone could enjoy the rest of the night. The next thing I know, this woman tries to kiss me. An hour earlier we were cursing at each other and now she wants to kiss me?
One last Example also took place at the Cats Meow at a single mingle on a different night. There was a gorgeous woman in attendance and I was running around like a nut making sure people were mingling. Whereas every guy was trying to talk to her, I basically ignored her because I was just so busy. Eventually things calmed down and we made eye contact, so I went over to see if she was having a good time. The next thing I knew we were sitting on the couch talking and she leaned over and said "you are a heartbreaker, aren't you"? A minute later she attacked me on the couch.
Hmm, I said to myself, this makes no friggin sense. I essentially ignored her most of the night and did not show any interest. How is this a turn on? But it was!! So what happened?? We talked on the phone a few days later and she came to see me at an event the following week.
Unfortunately I had caught a very bad cold and was under the weather, but she came to see me none the less. I knew I was not going to be able to kiss her because I was sick, so I went and bought a bag full of hershey kisses. She hung out with me for a few hours and the chemistry was amazing. Towards the end of the night I said "I knew I would want to kiss you, but I am sick, so here are your kisses anyway", and I gave her the choclate kisses. I could almost see a tear in her eye and she said, "that was so sweet."
So what happened??? I never saw her again and she totally blew me off. She lost her attraction for me because I was too much of a nice guy way too soon. Counter intuitive?? You bet ya.
Long Island Dating Coach
Singles Events Long Island
Speed Dating NYC
Sunday, June 18, 2006
Kiss Test
“How To Tell If She’s Ready To Be Kissed” (By David DeAngelo)
Disclaimer: I did not write this.
I used to have no idea if a woman was ready to be kissed.
I could be sitting there talking to her, thinking to myself “Wow, her lips really look nice...” but I didn't know what to do next. This would often leave me kissless, and many times kissless for good, as I didn't get another chance.
Here's what I do now:
If I've been talking to a girl, and I want to know if she's ready to be kissed, I'll reach over and touch her hair while we're talking and make a comment about it. I'll say "Your hair looks so soft" and just touch the tips of it.
If she smiles and likes this, I'll reach back over and start stroking it again, but this time I also glance down at her lips and back up to her eyes a couple of times. If she lets me keep touching her hair, I know that she's ready to be kissed.
By using “The Kiss Test” I've been kind and complimentary, but by being very SUBTLE about it, I haven't given her anything she can object to. I now have a way of knowing if she's ready to be kissed that NEVER gets me rejected—and I know within 5 minutes what it used to take me hours or days to figure out...
Disclaimer: I did not write this.
I used to have no idea if a woman was ready to be kissed.
I could be sitting there talking to her, thinking to myself “Wow, her lips really look nice...” but I didn't know what to do next. This would often leave me kissless, and many times kissless for good, as I didn't get another chance.
Here's what I do now:
If I've been talking to a girl, and I want to know if she's ready to be kissed, I'll reach over and touch her hair while we're talking and make a comment about it. I'll say "Your hair looks so soft" and just touch the tips of it.
If she smiles and likes this, I'll reach back over and start stroking it again, but this time I also glance down at her lips and back up to her eyes a couple of times. If she lets me keep touching her hair, I know that she's ready to be kissed.
By using “The Kiss Test” I've been kind and complimentary, but by being very SUBTLE about it, I haven't given her anything she can object to. I now have a way of knowing if she's ready to be kissed that NEVER gets me rejected—and I know within 5 minutes what it used to take me hours or days to figure out...
Monday, May 29, 2006
Understanding Women- Part 2
In Part 1, I introduced you to Karen, Allie, and Erica. Here is more of what they had to say when asked these questions:
#7 If a man asked for your contact information, would you be more comfortable giving out your email instead of your phone number?
#8 Would you approach a man that you were interested in?
#9 Best place to go on a first date?
#10 Do you look at a man's shoes and make judgments from them?
Karen: "I would go right up to a guy I was interested in and start talking to him. This is 2006, why not?" Best first date for me would be a restaurant like Don Juan, where we can get to know each other, but still have a lot of entertainment in case he is boring. Yes, I look at the shoes. If he is wearing Kenneth Cole or something similar, then he scores points. If he has on JC Penny loafers, then it is pretty much goodbye. I really do not use email, so phone number contact is best for me."
Allie: "I will not approach a man. Although sometimes I would like too, I am afraid it will send the wrong message. A great first date for me would be a carnival or some place where we can walk around. As far as the shoes go, Allie does notice, but said it is not so important. She also likes the idea of giving out her email instead of phone number.
Erica & Friends: Unfortunately Erica and friends lost interest chatting when it got time for these questions. I had taken them away from being the center of attention and it was time for them to go back to the dance floor and dance by themselves.
#7 If a man asked for your contact information, would you be more comfortable giving out your email instead of your phone number?
#8 Would you approach a man that you were interested in?
#9 Best place to go on a first date?
#10 Do you look at a man's shoes and make judgments from them?
Karen: "I would go right up to a guy I was interested in and start talking to him. This is 2006, why not?" Best first date for me would be a restaurant like Don Juan, where we can get to know each other, but still have a lot of entertainment in case he is boring. Yes, I look at the shoes. If he is wearing Kenneth Cole or something similar, then he scores points. If he has on JC Penny loafers, then it is pretty much goodbye. I really do not use email, so phone number contact is best for me."
Allie: "I will not approach a man. Although sometimes I would like too, I am afraid it will send the wrong message. A great first date for me would be a carnival or some place where we can walk around. As far as the shoes go, Allie does notice, but said it is not so important. She also likes the idea of giving out her email instead of phone number.
Erica & Friends: Unfortunately Erica and friends lost interest chatting when it got time for these questions. I had taken them away from being the center of attention and it was time for them to go back to the dance floor and dance by themselves.
Monday, May 15, 2006
Understanding women- part 1
Ladies: These comments are being written from the male perspective. If you agree and or disagree with my comments, please let me know. My goal here is to educate the guys with some real life experiences. If you would like to volunteer to write from the female perspective, please email me at Info@Weekenddating.comWhen I told some friends about what I was planning on doing, they said to just give up now. I had a better chance at winning the lottery than understanding women. Well I have made it a mission to get to the bottom of this mystery. Currently being a single guy, I can relate to some of the comments made by the guys about how frustrating it can be to understand women. Last week I posted the ten most dangerous mistakes men probably make with women (written by David DeAngelo). I downloaded and read his book and also started reading a book called The Nice Guys Guide to getting women (not finished yet). They take two very different approaches on how men should act in order to be successful with women.
It was time for me to do my own primary research so this past weekend I went out to a few bars (Luckys of Bayside, and the Crazy Donkey in Farmingdale), did some observations, and interviewed several women. This will be an ongoing process so I will share with you some of my experiences each week. OH PS, most of the research indicates that meeting women in bars/clubs is not your best option.)
# 1) When you go to the bars "with the girls", are you going to just hang out, or are you open to the possibility of meeting guys.I have heard time and time again that women go to "hang out" and guys go to "pick up".
#2) How should a guy approach you?
#3) How should a guy never approach you?
#4) What is the first thing you notice about a guy physically?
#5) What personality qualities does a man have that attracts you?
#6) How do you let a man know you are interested?#7) If a guy acts uninterested, does it make you want him more? Does it make you say, "Why isn't he interested in me?"(More questions and answers next week)
Karen: A gorgeous brunette, late 20's or early 30's, dressed pretty sexy, showing some skin: Yes, I go out with the girls, but am always open to the possibility of meeting a guy. If a guy wants to talk to me, he should just come over and say something like, I noticed you and think you are very good looking. I wont give a guy time of day if he tries to use a cheesy pick up line. The first thing I notice about a guy is his shoulders, then I look up up and check out his smile. I like a guy who has a bit of an edge, a cocky side. If I am interested in a man, it is all about the eye contact. She didn't comment on #7.Note: Some of the things I have read say the approach Karen described is the worst thing to do. They get that constantly, especially if they are attractive and you are feeding their ego. Other women such as Karen apparently appreciates this simple approach.
Allie: Mid twenties, pretty cute. Said she is open to meeting guys when they are out. As far as the approach, said a guy should buy me and my friends a drink and come over and say hello. "It is very shady if a guy hovers around, and seems to be following me around in the location without approaching. I notice the way a man is dressed, starting from his shoes and looking up to his shirt. He should be well groomed. #5 did not answer. The guy will get major eye contact if I am interested. #7 did not answer.Note: I have read mixed reviews on this whole buying the girl a drink as the first approach. For some women, it is a total turnoff because it sends the signal you are trying to buy them.
Erica & Friends: Probably the most attractive women in the bar. We have all seen this before where they are the only ones on the dance floor and are dancing very sexy together. They threw their purses on the floor and were dancing together around them. I eventually approached Erica who said "this is a girls night out" and I won't give any guy the time of day, even though I am single. Buy me a drink? Nope, a total turnoff! When I mentioned to her that I also run singles events, her eyes got wide and said "Me and my friend will go", but we are not paying. You want to have us there, it will make you look good. I responded jokingly that if they wanted to attend, they would have to pay double, just for the guys having to put up with them. She smiled and walked away. About ten minutes she stopped me as I was walking by and said that I could be pretty sure that she would be coming to an event soon. While we were talking the second time, she had somehow leaned over and brushed her boob against my arm for about 5 or 10 seconds.
Note on body language: Ok, the boob thing seemed pretty innocent and not intentional. However the material I read last week said that women know specifically what they are doing with respect to any body contact and a woman "accidentally" brushing a body part against yours is no accident. Ladies, what is the answer here?
Monday, May 08, 2006
Mistakes made by men
“The Ten Most Dangerous Mistakes YOU ProbablyMake With Women—And What To Do About It...”
Here Are The Top Ten Reasons Why Men Fail With Women—And How To Make Sure YOU Avoid Every One Of These Deadly Common Mistakes...
-By David DeAngelo, Author Of “Double Your Dating”
MISTAKE #1: BeingToo Much Of A “Nice Guy”
Have you ever noticed that the really attractive women never seem to be attracted "nice" guys?
Of course you have.
Just like me, I'm sure you've had attractive female friends that always seemed to date "jerks"... but for some reason they were never romantically interested in YOU.
What's going on here?
It's actually very simple...
Women don't base their choices of men on how "nice" a guy is. They choose the men they do because they feel a powerful GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION for them.
And guess what?
Being nice doesn't make a woman FEEL that powerful ATTRACTION.
And being NICE doesn't make a woman CHOOSE you.
I realize that this doesn't make a lot of logical sense, and it's hard to ACCEPT... but GET OVER IT.
Until you accept this FACT and begin to act on it, you'll NEVER have the success with women that you want.
MISTAKE #2: Trying To“Convince Her To Like You"
What do most guys do when they meet a woman that they REALLY like... but she's just not interested?
Right! They try to "convince" the woman to feel differently.
Well, I have news for you... YOU WILL NEVER CHANGE HOW A WOMAN "FEELS" WHEN IT COMES TO ATTRACTION!
Never, ever, EVER.
You cannot CONVINCE a woman to feel differently about you with "logic and reasoning".
Think about it.
If a woman doesn't "feel it" for you, how in the world do you expect to change that FEELING by being "reasonable" with her?
But we all do it.
When a woman just isn't interested, we beg, plead, chase, and do our best to change her mind.
Bad idea. One that will never work.
MISTAKE #3: Looking To HerFor Approval Or Permission
In our desire to please women (which we mistakenly think will make them like us), us guys are always doing things to get a woman's "approval" or "permission".
Another HORRIBLE idea.
Women are NEVER attracted to the types of men who kiss up to them... EVER.
Don't get me wrong here.
You don't have to treat women BADLY for them to like you.
But if you think that treating a woman well means "always getting her approval and permission for things", think again.
You will never succeed by looking for approval. Women actually get ANNOYED at men who seek their approval.
Doubt me? Just ask any attractive woman if Wussy guys who chase her around and want her approval annoy her...
MISTAKE #4: Trying To “Buy” Her Affection With Food And Gifts
How many times have you taken a woman out to a nice dinner, bought her gifts and flowers, and had her REJECT you for someone who didn't treat her even HALF as well as you did?
If you're like me, then you've had it happen a LOT.
Well guess what?
It's only NATURAL when this happens...
That's right, I said NATURAL.
When you do these things, you send a clear message:
"I don't think you'll like me for who I am, so I'm going to try to buy your attention and affection". Your good intentions usually come across to women as over-compensation for insecurity, and weak attempts at manipulation. That's right, I said that women see this as MANIPULATION.
MISTAKE #5: Sharing“How You Feel” Too Early InThe Relationship With Her
Another huge and unfortunate mistake that most men make with women is sharing how they "feel" too early on.
Attractive women are rare.
And they get a LOT of attention from men.
Most men don't realize this, but attractive women are being approached in one way or another ALL THE
An attractive woman is often approached several times a DAY by men who are interested. This translate into dozens of times per week, and often HUNDREDS of times per month.
And guess what?
Attractive women have usually dated a LOT of men.
That's right. They have EXPERIENCE.
They know what to expect.
And one thing that turns an attractive women off and sends her running away faster than just about anything is a guy who starts saying "You know, I really, REALLY like you" after one or two dates.
This signals to the woman that you're just like all the other guys who fall for her too fast... and can't control themselves.
Don't do it. Lean back. Relax.
There's a much better way...
MISTAKE #6: Not “Getting” How Attraction Works For Women
Women are VERY different from men when it comes to ATTRACTION.
You need to accept this fact, and deal with it.
When a man sees a beautiful, young, sexy woman, he INSTANTLY feels a sexual attraction.
But does the same apply for women?
Do women feel sexual attraction to men based mostly on looks? Or is something else going on?
Well, after studying this topic for over five full years now, I can tell you that women usually have their "attraction mechanisms" triggered by things OTHER than looks.
Have you ever noticed that you see a lot more average and unattractive men with beautiful women than the other way around?
Think about it.
Women are more attracted to certain qualities in men... and they're attracted to the way a man makes them FEEL than they are to looks alone.
If you know how to use your body language and communication correctly, you can make women feel the same kind of powerful sexual attraction to you that YOU feel when you see a hot, sexy young woman.
But it's not an accident. You have to LEARN how to do this.
And ANY guy can learn how...
MISTAKE #7: Thinking That ItTakes Money And Looks
One of the most common mistakes that guys make is giving up before they've even gotten started... because they think that attractive women are only interested in men who have looks and money... or guys who are a certain height... or guys who are a certain age.
And sure, there are some women who are only interested in these things.
But MOST women are far more interested in a man's personality than his wallet or his looks.
There are personality traits that attract women like a magnet...
And if you learn what they are and how to use them, YOU can be one of these guys.
YOU DO NOT have to "settle" for a woman just because you aren't rich, tall, or handsome.
Let me say this again: If you know how to use your body language and communication correctly, you can make women feel the same kind of powerful sexual attraction to you that YOU feel when you see a hot, sexy young woman.
MISTAKE #8: Giving AwayAll Of Your Power To Women
Earlier I mentioned that it's a mistake to look to a woman for approval or permission.
Well, another similar tactic that a lot of guys use is GIVING AWAY THEIR POWER to women.
Said differently, guys try to get women to like them by doing whatever the woman wants.
Another bad idea...
Women are NEVER attracted to men that they can walk all over... Women aren't attracted to Wussies!
MISTAKE #9: Not KnowingEXACTLY What To Do In EachType Of Situation With Women
Now I'm going to blow your mind...
A woman ALWAYS knows what you're thinking.
Women are approximately TEN TIMES better than men at reading body language. That's ten TIMES.
I know, it might be hard to believe. But for example, if you're out on a date with a woman, and you want to kiss her, she knows it.
And if you don't know exactly what to do and exactly HOW to kiss her, and you just sit there looking at her and getting nervous, she won't help!
And this goes for ALL aspects of women and dating...
Approaching a woman, getting her number, asking her out, kissing her, getting physical... everything.
If you don't know what to do in each situation, you will probably screw it up... and LOSE EVERYTHING.
And you KNOW it.
It is VITALLY important that you know EXACTLY how to go from one step to the next with a woman... from the first meeting, all the way to the bedroom.
MISTAKE #10: Not Getting HELP
This is the biggest mistake of all.
This is the mistake that keeps most men from EVER having the kind of success with women that they truly want.
I know, guys don't like to make themselves look weak or helpless. We don't like to ask for help.
Hey, I've been there myself.
Let me tell you a little about me and how I figured out how to be successful with women...
About five years ago I became fed up with the fact that I didn't know how to approach, meet, and get dates with women that I was attracted to.
It frustrated the hell out of me.
One night I was out with a friend, and I saw a woman I wanted to ask out, but I just couldn't get up the nerve to do it. I can still remember that night... right on the spot I made the decision to do whatever it took to learn how to be successful with women and dating.
Well, after a lot of hard work and trying all kinds of crazy things, I finally figured it all out.
I can now approach just about any woman and get her number almost instantly. I've dated models, I've dated actresses, and I've dated nice, normal, regular girls as well.
It has been a very rewarding experience. I no longer feel that sick, insecure feeling... like I don't know how to meet women... and I might wind up alone.
I know that anytime, anywhere, I can go out and meet attractive women.
I've written a book on the topic, and I've done seminars on both coasts of the United States... and taught tens of thousands of men all around the world.
Here Are The Top Ten Reasons Why Men Fail With Women—And How To Make Sure YOU Avoid Every One Of These Deadly Common Mistakes...
-By David DeAngelo, Author Of “Double Your Dating”
MISTAKE #1: BeingToo Much Of A “Nice Guy”
Have you ever noticed that the really attractive women never seem to be attracted "nice" guys?
Of course you have.
Just like me, I'm sure you've had attractive female friends that always seemed to date "jerks"... but for some reason they were never romantically interested in YOU.
What's going on here?
It's actually very simple...
Women don't base their choices of men on how "nice" a guy is. They choose the men they do because they feel a powerful GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION for them.
And guess what?
Being nice doesn't make a woman FEEL that powerful ATTRACTION.
And being NICE doesn't make a woman CHOOSE you.
I realize that this doesn't make a lot of logical sense, and it's hard to ACCEPT... but GET OVER IT.
Until you accept this FACT and begin to act on it, you'll NEVER have the success with women that you want.
MISTAKE #2: Trying To“Convince Her To Like You"
What do most guys do when they meet a woman that they REALLY like... but she's just not interested?
Right! They try to "convince" the woman to feel differently.
Well, I have news for you... YOU WILL NEVER CHANGE HOW A WOMAN "FEELS" WHEN IT COMES TO ATTRACTION!
Never, ever, EVER.
You cannot CONVINCE a woman to feel differently about you with "logic and reasoning".
Think about it.
If a woman doesn't "feel it" for you, how in the world do you expect to change that FEELING by being "reasonable" with her?
But we all do it.
When a woman just isn't interested, we beg, plead, chase, and do our best to change her mind.
Bad idea. One that will never work.
MISTAKE #3: Looking To HerFor Approval Or Permission
In our desire to please women (which we mistakenly think will make them like us), us guys are always doing things to get a woman's "approval" or "permission".
Another HORRIBLE idea.
Women are NEVER attracted to the types of men who kiss up to them... EVER.
Don't get me wrong here.
You don't have to treat women BADLY for them to like you.
But if you think that treating a woman well means "always getting her approval and permission for things", think again.
You will never succeed by looking for approval. Women actually get ANNOYED at men who seek their approval.
Doubt me? Just ask any attractive woman if Wussy guys who chase her around and want her approval annoy her...
MISTAKE #4: Trying To “Buy” Her Affection With Food And Gifts
How many times have you taken a woman out to a nice dinner, bought her gifts and flowers, and had her REJECT you for someone who didn't treat her even HALF as well as you did?
If you're like me, then you've had it happen a LOT.
Well guess what?
It's only NATURAL when this happens...
That's right, I said NATURAL.
When you do these things, you send a clear message:
"I don't think you'll like me for who I am, so I'm going to try to buy your attention and affection". Your good intentions usually come across to women as over-compensation for insecurity, and weak attempts at manipulation. That's right, I said that women see this as MANIPULATION.
MISTAKE #5: Sharing“How You Feel” Too Early InThe Relationship With Her
Another huge and unfortunate mistake that most men make with women is sharing how they "feel" too early on.
Attractive women are rare.
And they get a LOT of attention from men.
Most men don't realize this, but attractive women are being approached in one way or another ALL THE
An attractive woman is often approached several times a DAY by men who are interested. This translate into dozens of times per week, and often HUNDREDS of times per month.
And guess what?
Attractive women have usually dated a LOT of men.
That's right. They have EXPERIENCE.
They know what to expect.
And one thing that turns an attractive women off and sends her running away faster than just about anything is a guy who starts saying "You know, I really, REALLY like you" after one or two dates.
This signals to the woman that you're just like all the other guys who fall for her too fast... and can't control themselves.
Don't do it. Lean back. Relax.
There's a much better way...
MISTAKE #6: Not “Getting” How Attraction Works For Women
Women are VERY different from men when it comes to ATTRACTION.
You need to accept this fact, and deal with it.
When a man sees a beautiful, young, sexy woman, he INSTANTLY feels a sexual attraction.
But does the same apply for women?
Do women feel sexual attraction to men based mostly on looks? Or is something else going on?
Well, after studying this topic for over five full years now, I can tell you that women usually have their "attraction mechanisms" triggered by things OTHER than looks.
Have you ever noticed that you see a lot more average and unattractive men with beautiful women than the other way around?
Think about it.
Women are more attracted to certain qualities in men... and they're attracted to the way a man makes them FEEL than they are to looks alone.
If you know how to use your body language and communication correctly, you can make women feel the same kind of powerful sexual attraction to you that YOU feel when you see a hot, sexy young woman.
But it's not an accident. You have to LEARN how to do this.
And ANY guy can learn how...
MISTAKE #7: Thinking That ItTakes Money And Looks
One of the most common mistakes that guys make is giving up before they've even gotten started... because they think that attractive women are only interested in men who have looks and money... or guys who are a certain height... or guys who are a certain age.
And sure, there are some women who are only interested in these things.
But MOST women are far more interested in a man's personality than his wallet or his looks.
There are personality traits that attract women like a magnet...
And if you learn what they are and how to use them, YOU can be one of these guys.
YOU DO NOT have to "settle" for a woman just because you aren't rich, tall, or handsome.
Let me say this again: If you know how to use your body language and communication correctly, you can make women feel the same kind of powerful sexual attraction to you that YOU feel when you see a hot, sexy young woman.
MISTAKE #8: Giving AwayAll Of Your Power To Women
Earlier I mentioned that it's a mistake to look to a woman for approval or permission.
Well, another similar tactic that a lot of guys use is GIVING AWAY THEIR POWER to women.
Said differently, guys try to get women to like them by doing whatever the woman wants.
Another bad idea...
Women are NEVER attracted to men that they can walk all over... Women aren't attracted to Wussies!
MISTAKE #9: Not KnowingEXACTLY What To Do In EachType Of Situation With Women
Now I'm going to blow your mind...
A woman ALWAYS knows what you're thinking.
Women are approximately TEN TIMES better than men at reading body language. That's ten TIMES.
I know, it might be hard to believe. But for example, if you're out on a date with a woman, and you want to kiss her, she knows it.
And if you don't know exactly what to do and exactly HOW to kiss her, and you just sit there looking at her and getting nervous, she won't help!
And this goes for ALL aspects of women and dating...
Approaching a woman, getting her number, asking her out, kissing her, getting physical... everything.
If you don't know what to do in each situation, you will probably screw it up... and LOSE EVERYTHING.
And you KNOW it.
It is VITALLY important that you know EXACTLY how to go from one step to the next with a woman... from the first meeting, all the way to the bedroom.
MISTAKE #10: Not Getting HELP
This is the biggest mistake of all.
This is the mistake that keeps most men from EVER having the kind of success with women that they truly want.
I know, guys don't like to make themselves look weak or helpless. We don't like to ask for help.
Hey, I've been there myself.
Let me tell you a little about me and how I figured out how to be successful with women...
About five years ago I became fed up with the fact that I didn't know how to approach, meet, and get dates with women that I was attracted to.
It frustrated the hell out of me.
One night I was out with a friend, and I saw a woman I wanted to ask out, but I just couldn't get up the nerve to do it. I can still remember that night... right on the spot I made the decision to do whatever it took to learn how to be successful with women and dating.
Well, after a lot of hard work and trying all kinds of crazy things, I finally figured it all out.
I can now approach just about any woman and get her number almost instantly. I've dated models, I've dated actresses, and I've dated nice, normal, regular girls as well.
It has been a very rewarding experience. I no longer feel that sick, insecure feeling... like I don't know how to meet women... and I might wind up alone.
I know that anytime, anywhere, I can go out and meet attractive women.
I've written a book on the topic, and I've done seminars on both coasts of the United States... and taught tens of thousands of men all around the world.
Sunday, April 23, 2006
Cougar Hunting
New YorkPulse
COUGAR HUNTING - PROWL INTO N.Y.C.S HOTTEST SCENE: OLDER WOMEN, YOUNG GUYS; CAT FANCY HITS N.Y.C.
MICHAEL KANE
18 April 2006
New York Post
English
(c) 2006 N.Y.P. Holdings, Inc. All rights reserved.
SHHHH. Be very, very quiet. Were tracking cougar. Urban cougar. Felinae metropolitanus.
Ah! Theres one now, down at the end of the bar. Aint she a beaut, mate? About 45 years old and a real ferocious hellcat, she is.
Well just wait till she leans in for a sip and then . . .
"Hi there, would you pass me a napkin?"
Ah, crikey! Shes pouncing on the bait! Somebody hit her with a tranquilizer dart. No, better still, get her another cantaloupe martini.
Its dangerous business, tracking a cougar - a sophisticated species of female who seeks the pleasure of younger males. These are 40-ish women who have no qualms about picking up - or getting picked up by - the same boys they sent off to bed for being naughty when they were babysitters.
Men their own age? Theyve been there, done that, collected the alimony.
In what might be the most happening scene in New York dating, cougar hunting has taken on the popularity of big-game sport. Visit Soho House, Lenox Room or Ava Lounge to see cougars in their natural habitat - strappy heels, cleavage, a little too much makeup and a glint in their eye.
Think: Demi Moore and boy toy Ashton Kutcher, or Nicollette Sheridans conniving Edie Britt on "Desperate Housewives," or Kim Cattralls tramptastic Samantha Jones on "Sex and the City." While were at it, lets throw in half of the older women in spinning class at Equinox gyms on the Upper East Side.
Web sites charting the phenomenon, like gocougar.com and .urbancougar.com, feature an Urban Cougar of the Month and even subcategorize saucy women under 40 as "pumas" and those over 50 as "jaguars."
Cougars are often divorcees or career-driven women who want to avoid the entanglements of a relationship. Theyre financially independent and enjoy feeling young and hip, so theyre turning the tables on the tradition of older men scooping up trophy babes.
"I definitely see this trend among older women because they have such full lives," says Sheri de Borchgrave, who wrote a sex column called "Bedroom Baroness" for Cosmo until 2003. "Rather than work on a relationship that might not go anywhere, its better to go younger and friskier. Women get the athletic sex and, lets face it, guys get the easy sex."
De Borchgrave says life is imitating art, as shows like "Sex and the City" and "Desperate Housewives" have removed the stigma of oversexed older women.
"They can be wonderful mini-relationships to revive the older woman and to give the younger guy a break from the really tedious hunt for a life partner," de Borchgrave says. "Its not a teacherstudent relationship. Its the opportunity to have a no-nonsense approach to the bedroom."
In New York City, where urban cougars are an indigenous species, The Post set out to see what happened when we dangled fresh meat in front of the local wildcats. We sent handsome, 24-year-old smooth talker Ben "Cougar Bait" Rodriguez out last week to hotel bars and happy hours around Midtown.
"People do tell me regularly that I should be a model, but I think its an idiotic pursuit," says the fit, 6-foot-1 Rodriguez. Hes half Mexican and half Norwegian, so hes got that tall and dark thing going on. And his work in catering and hospitality gives him plenty of practice.
For setting his cougar traps last week, Rodriguez revealed the strategy: "You dont approach women, you just make yourself conspicuous. Go near them and look out the window, or sit at the bar alone with a book." Any book in particular? "Doesnt matter."
Urban Cougars No. 1 and No. 2 - Meet the Fawners:
"Oh, my God. Youre gorgeous!"
"Are you a model? What do you do? You must be a model."
"No, youve got to be on a soap opera!"
This affection downpour began after Ben merely slid into an open space at the bar at Del Friscos on West 49th Street and reached across for a stirring straw. Thats when the fawning Mel and Nanette, two successful and buttoned-down 40ish women who work in media, suddenly turned into the Coors Light twins.
They begin rubbing his arm and tossing back their hair flirtatiously.
"I think hes Latin American," coos Mel.
"No, I think hes maybe Italian," says Nanette, batting her eyes.
Later, after saying goodbye, Ben quipped, "I told them models are shallow, and they just laughed. They didnt care
about my answers. They just wanted me to be stupid."
Urban Cougar No. 3 - Kicking It Old School:
Del Friscos is a perfect cougar trap - loaded with successful older women on the prowl.
Ben hangs out at the bar and fiddles around with his iPod.
"Hi," says another cougar, this one a Chardonnay-clutching human-resources exec at a cable TV network named
Judy. Shes early 40s. "What are you listening to?"
"I like lots of things," answers Ben. "Rock, jazz, rap."
"Oh, I love rap," says Judy, overselling it with too-youthful enthusiasm. "I was at this cool new club, Bed, awhile back as part of this rap summit. Everyone was there . . . P. Diddy . . . and, um . . . another guy."
She strains to think of another hip-hopper.
Who was it, "Q-Z" or "Jay-Tip" perhaps?
"I think so. I think it might have been," she says, even though those rappers dont exist. "Are they the ones who did that video with Aerosmith?"
Urban Cougars Nos. 4, 5 & 6 - Time Out Room
A few hours later, Ben swings into his favorite downtown dive, Doc Hollidays on Avenue A, for a quick break from the hunt. The two foxy older women behind the bar - Sabina and Joanna - serve up cans of Pabst plus a little wisdom on the cougar phenomenon.
"Hey, its great dating young guys," says Sabina, whos in her mid-30s and likes her men a decade younger. "They dont have any hang-ups, theyre just looking for fun, theyve got great bodies. "Plus they all hang out together in groups. So if you meet one, suddenly youre at a table with about five good-looking guys." The other bartender, 35-year-old Joanna, says: "Youve got to take them back to your place, though, because theyve all got roommates. You dont want to swing into frat-boy central. "Also, you dont want them too immature - like, any guy who orders a Long Island iced tea or some stupid new shot like liquid heroin. " A cougar at the next bar stool named Diana chimes in. A jazz singer who goes by the name Perez, its common for Diana to be approached by younger guys after her gigs.
"Theyre all about T&A and MTV," she says. "They dont know anything about jazz. One actually asked me to sing him to sleep sometime. Like a lullaby. That was a little weird.
"But the real problem is he was into video games. Thats a deal-breaker."
Ben finishes his Pabst, and its back to the hunt.
Urban Cougar No. 7 - You Look Like a Million
Ben saunters up to order a drink at the swanky Pen-Top lounge on the roof of the Peninsula Hotel. "How many floors do you think there are in this building?" asks the flirtatious Ronda, a nearly 50-year-old wife of a Texas millionaire, breaking the ice with a question nobody really cares the answer to. Apparently, Rondas husband is either at their mansion in Dallas, at the ski house in Colorado, or possibly at their fairwayside spread in Northern California.
In any case, hes not here at the Pen-Top lounge - but his credit card is.
A few rounds of Lemon Drops later, and Ben is giving her a foot rub.
"Oh, arent you a darling," she says, "But you know what, I like Southern boys. I want to mess up your hair a little bit. Make it not so slick." She tousles Bens hair, thankfully managing not to snag either her wedding ring or diamond-encrusted Rolex in his gelled black locks.
"And untuck your shirt, too," she says, pulling out his Oxford and sneaking a peek at his abs. "Feel my abs," she says, pulling his hands to her taut midsection. "Pilates and fly-fishing."
A young hottie from Long Island named Jordy slyly sneaks in next to the ladies man and starts making conversation. "Dont I know you . . . you look familiar?" she asks, stealing Bens attention from irritated older woman Ronda. Uh-oh. Its about to get catty in here.
"I just love your bracelet," Ronda quips to the flirty 21-year-old whos obviously trying to steal her young trophy beau. "Oh, thank you," answers Jordy. "I got it for my Sweet 16."
"Really," says Ronda, facetiously arching an eyebrow. "Are you 16, dear?"
Rrrrrrowr! Catfight! The young girl turns and walks away, licking her wounds.
Its a law of the jungle: Dont ever get between a cougar and her prey.
---
Know your cougar breeds
Top cats -These cougars are the top of the food chain - classy, rich, pampered and ultra-hot. Find them at hotel bars in the Peninsula or Essex House. Think: Ivana Trump, Jerry Hall (right), Sarah Ferguson Slut cat -These cleavage-bearing, twicedivorced alley cats can be found shooting pool and chain-smoking Parliamants at dive bars on Monday nights. Think: Janice Dickenson, Kim Cattrall (inset left) Euro cat -These sultry and sophisticated foreign felines have the olive skin and sexy Spanish and Italian accents to match. Cage these cougars with a few salsa-dancing moves. Think: Isabella Rossellini, Catherine Deneuve (left)
Buff cat -These gravity-defying fitness fanatics have the bods of women half their age. Keeping up with them is a workout, and were not talking about the gym. Think: Madonna, Demi Moore (right), Jane Fonda Rock cat -Spot these downtown rock n rollers by the badass tattoos and leather jackets. Theyre ferocious in the sack, plus have stories about partying with The Stones. Think: Chrissie Hynde, Debbie Harry, Joan Jett -COUGAR: Diana Perez, 43; HUNTER: Ben Rodriguez, 24 [Christian Johnston] -Ben Rodriguez chats up cougar Judy at Del Friscos restaurant. [Christian Johnston] -Jerry Hall; Kim Cattrall; Catherine Deneuve; Demi Moore. [EPA; WireImage (2)]
COUGAR HUNTING - PROWL INTO N.Y.C.S HOTTEST SCENE: OLDER WOMEN, YOUNG GUYS; CAT FANCY HITS N.Y.C.
MICHAEL KANE
18 April 2006
New York Post
English
(c) 2006 N.Y.P. Holdings, Inc. All rights reserved.
SHHHH. Be very, very quiet. Were tracking cougar. Urban cougar. Felinae metropolitanus.
Ah! Theres one now, down at the end of the bar. Aint she a beaut, mate? About 45 years old and a real ferocious hellcat, she is.
Well just wait till she leans in for a sip and then . . .
"Hi there, would you pass me a napkin?"
Ah, crikey! Shes pouncing on the bait! Somebody hit her with a tranquilizer dart. No, better still, get her another cantaloupe martini.
Its dangerous business, tracking a cougar - a sophisticated species of female who seeks the pleasure of younger males. These are 40-ish women who have no qualms about picking up - or getting picked up by - the same boys they sent off to bed for being naughty when they were babysitters.
Men their own age? Theyve been there, done that, collected the alimony.
In what might be the most happening scene in New York dating, cougar hunting has taken on the popularity of big-game sport. Visit Soho House, Lenox Room or Ava Lounge to see cougars in their natural habitat - strappy heels, cleavage, a little too much makeup and a glint in their eye.
Think: Demi Moore and boy toy Ashton Kutcher, or Nicollette Sheridans conniving Edie Britt on "Desperate Housewives," or Kim Cattralls tramptastic Samantha Jones on "Sex and the City." While were at it, lets throw in half of the older women in spinning class at Equinox gyms on the Upper East Side.
Web sites charting the phenomenon, like gocougar.com and .urbancougar.com, feature an Urban Cougar of the Month and even subcategorize saucy women under 40 as "pumas" and those over 50 as "jaguars."
Cougars are often divorcees or career-driven women who want to avoid the entanglements of a relationship. Theyre financially independent and enjoy feeling young and hip, so theyre turning the tables on the tradition of older men scooping up trophy babes.
"I definitely see this trend among older women because they have such full lives," says Sheri de Borchgrave, who wrote a sex column called "Bedroom Baroness" for Cosmo until 2003. "Rather than work on a relationship that might not go anywhere, its better to go younger and friskier. Women get the athletic sex and, lets face it, guys get the easy sex."
De Borchgrave says life is imitating art, as shows like "Sex and the City" and "Desperate Housewives" have removed the stigma of oversexed older women.
"They can be wonderful mini-relationships to revive the older woman and to give the younger guy a break from the really tedious hunt for a life partner," de Borchgrave says. "Its not a teacherstudent relationship. Its the opportunity to have a no-nonsense approach to the bedroom."
In New York City, where urban cougars are an indigenous species, The Post set out to see what happened when we dangled fresh meat in front of the local wildcats. We sent handsome, 24-year-old smooth talker Ben "Cougar Bait" Rodriguez out last week to hotel bars and happy hours around Midtown.
"People do tell me regularly that I should be a model, but I think its an idiotic pursuit," says the fit, 6-foot-1 Rodriguez. Hes half Mexican and half Norwegian, so hes got that tall and dark thing going on. And his work in catering and hospitality gives him plenty of practice.
For setting his cougar traps last week, Rodriguez revealed the strategy: "You dont approach women, you just make yourself conspicuous. Go near them and look out the window, or sit at the bar alone with a book." Any book in particular? "Doesnt matter."
Urban Cougars No. 1 and No. 2 - Meet the Fawners:
"Oh, my God. Youre gorgeous!"
"Are you a model? What do you do? You must be a model."
"No, youve got to be on a soap opera!"
This affection downpour began after Ben merely slid into an open space at the bar at Del Friscos on West 49th Street and reached across for a stirring straw. Thats when the fawning Mel and Nanette, two successful and buttoned-down 40ish women who work in media, suddenly turned into the Coors Light twins.
They begin rubbing his arm and tossing back their hair flirtatiously.
"I think hes Latin American," coos Mel.
"No, I think hes maybe Italian," says Nanette, batting her eyes.
Later, after saying goodbye, Ben quipped, "I told them models are shallow, and they just laughed. They didnt care
about my answers. They just wanted me to be stupid."
Urban Cougar No. 3 - Kicking It Old School:
Del Friscos is a perfect cougar trap - loaded with successful older women on the prowl.
Ben hangs out at the bar and fiddles around with his iPod.
"Hi," says another cougar, this one a Chardonnay-clutching human-resources exec at a cable TV network named
Judy. Shes early 40s. "What are you listening to?"
"I like lots of things," answers Ben. "Rock, jazz, rap."
"Oh, I love rap," says Judy, overselling it with too-youthful enthusiasm. "I was at this cool new club, Bed, awhile back as part of this rap summit. Everyone was there . . . P. Diddy . . . and, um . . . another guy."
She strains to think of another hip-hopper.
Who was it, "Q-Z" or "Jay-Tip" perhaps?
"I think so. I think it might have been," she says, even though those rappers dont exist. "Are they the ones who did that video with Aerosmith?"
Urban Cougars Nos. 4, 5 & 6 - Time Out Room
A few hours later, Ben swings into his favorite downtown dive, Doc Hollidays on Avenue A, for a quick break from the hunt. The two foxy older women behind the bar - Sabina and Joanna - serve up cans of Pabst plus a little wisdom on the cougar phenomenon.
"Hey, its great dating young guys," says Sabina, whos in her mid-30s and likes her men a decade younger. "They dont have any hang-ups, theyre just looking for fun, theyve got great bodies. "Plus they all hang out together in groups. So if you meet one, suddenly youre at a table with about five good-looking guys." The other bartender, 35-year-old Joanna, says: "Youve got to take them back to your place, though, because theyve all got roommates. You dont want to swing into frat-boy central. "Also, you dont want them too immature - like, any guy who orders a Long Island iced tea or some stupid new shot like liquid heroin. " A cougar at the next bar stool named Diana chimes in. A jazz singer who goes by the name Perez, its common for Diana to be approached by younger guys after her gigs.
"Theyre all about T&A and MTV," she says. "They dont know anything about jazz. One actually asked me to sing him to sleep sometime. Like a lullaby. That was a little weird.
"But the real problem is he was into video games. Thats a deal-breaker."
Ben finishes his Pabst, and its back to the hunt.
Urban Cougar No. 7 - You Look Like a Million
Ben saunters up to order a drink at the swanky Pen-Top lounge on the roof of the Peninsula Hotel. "How many floors do you think there are in this building?" asks the flirtatious Ronda, a nearly 50-year-old wife of a Texas millionaire, breaking the ice with a question nobody really cares the answer to. Apparently, Rondas husband is either at their mansion in Dallas, at the ski house in Colorado, or possibly at their fairwayside spread in Northern California.
In any case, hes not here at the Pen-Top lounge - but his credit card is.
A few rounds of Lemon Drops later, and Ben is giving her a foot rub.
"Oh, arent you a darling," she says, "But you know what, I like Southern boys. I want to mess up your hair a little bit. Make it not so slick." She tousles Bens hair, thankfully managing not to snag either her wedding ring or diamond-encrusted Rolex in his gelled black locks.
"And untuck your shirt, too," she says, pulling out his Oxford and sneaking a peek at his abs. "Feel my abs," she says, pulling his hands to her taut midsection. "Pilates and fly-fishing."
A young hottie from Long Island named Jordy slyly sneaks in next to the ladies man and starts making conversation. "Dont I know you . . . you look familiar?" she asks, stealing Bens attention from irritated older woman Ronda. Uh-oh. Its about to get catty in here.
"I just love your bracelet," Ronda quips to the flirty 21-year-old whos obviously trying to steal her young trophy beau. "Oh, thank you," answers Jordy. "I got it for my Sweet 16."
"Really," says Ronda, facetiously arching an eyebrow. "Are you 16, dear?"
Rrrrrrowr! Catfight! The young girl turns and walks away, licking her wounds.
Its a law of the jungle: Dont ever get between a cougar and her prey.
---
Know your cougar breeds
Top cats -These cougars are the top of the food chain - classy, rich, pampered and ultra-hot. Find them at hotel bars in the Peninsula or Essex House. Think: Ivana Trump, Jerry Hall (right), Sarah Ferguson Slut cat -These cleavage-bearing, twicedivorced alley cats can be found shooting pool and chain-smoking Parliamants at dive bars on Monday nights. Think: Janice Dickenson, Kim Cattrall (inset left) Euro cat -These sultry and sophisticated foreign felines have the olive skin and sexy Spanish and Italian accents to match. Cage these cougars with a few salsa-dancing moves. Think: Isabella Rossellini, Catherine Deneuve (left)
Buff cat -These gravity-defying fitness fanatics have the bods of women half their age. Keeping up with them is a workout, and were not talking about the gym. Think: Madonna, Demi Moore (right), Jane Fonda Rock cat -Spot these downtown rock n rollers by the badass tattoos and leather jackets. Theyre ferocious in the sack, plus have stories about partying with The Stones. Think: Chrissie Hynde, Debbie Harry, Joan Jett -COUGAR: Diana Perez, 43; HUNTER: Ben Rodriguez, 24 [Christian Johnston] -Ben Rodriguez chats up cougar Judy at Del Friscos restaurant. [Christian Johnston] -Jerry Hall; Kim Cattrall; Catherine Deneuve; Demi Moore. [EPA; WireImage (2)]
Sunday, April 02, 2006
Singles co-ed softball?
Singles co-ed Softball? Would you be interested in this proposed event? Your feedback will determine if it is worth pursuing. We would have 2 teams with 5 men and 5 women on a team. Teams would be put together based on similar age brackets. So for instance team one (5 men and 5 women between 30 and 40) would play against team two (5 men and 5 women between 41-50). Different weeks would have different age brackets playing each other.
I am in the process of pricing out insurance for this type of event and looking for permits in Nassau County that may still have availability. Would you attend this event? What day would you like it to take place? What time? Please share your comments here.
Sunday, March 26, 2006
Sunday, March 12, 2006
Guys Night Out?
Guys Night Out? After the great feedback from the Girls Night Out event, several people (all women) have approached me with the suggestion of doing a Guys Night Out. My initial reaction was NO WAY! ARE YOU CRAZY! It would never work. After I thought about it again, my view was, "well it probably wouldn't work, but who knows".
In the past, some of the guys have commented to me that all of their friends are married, have girlfriends, etc, and they do not have a lot of people to go out with. Actually that was the reason I started this business over three years ago. So although the concept could make sense, I am not sure this idea "would fly". What do you think?
Men: Would you go for a Guys Night Out to watch a ballgame, have some drinks at a bar, or something guyish, followed by an after party to meet single women? Please share your comments in the blog.
In the past, some of the guys have commented to me that all of their friends are married, have girlfriends, etc, and they do not have a lot of people to go out with. Actually that was the reason I started this business over three years ago. So although the concept could make sense, I am not sure this idea "would fly". What do you think?
Men: Would you go for a Guys Night Out to watch a ballgame, have some drinks at a bar, or something guyish, followed by an after party to meet single women? Please share your comments in the blog.
Sunday, February 05, 2006
I will call you soon...
What does the phrase "I will call you soon" mean when it comes to dating.
This was the topic of a story that came up at our defensive driving singles class. I mentioned a few weeks ago that when a man hears "You are a really nice guy", we know the end is near.
From listening to the story at the driving class, apparently the phrase "I will call you soon" signals that the end is near for a woman. So the bottom line question raised was "Why does a man say he will call you when he has absolutely no intention of calling?"
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