The following was posted on Yahoo this week. Let me know what you think.
Do you find yourself wondering why most of your buddies have steady dates, yet you can barely secure a first date, let alone a second (and, playing a regular game of Mahjong and Canasta with your grandparents and their friends doesn't count)? Guys, if so, it's time to ask yourself a few Foxy questions...
Do you... have a problem with eye contact? Even if you love everything about this other person, it won't matter, if you can't take your eyes off their body parts. They'll likely think you're out for one thing, or that you're just kind of creepy. Sure, they might be wearing something revealing, but that's no excuse to stare all night long. Get a grip and get comfortable with eye contact, which creates a much better bond.
Do you... eat like a caveman? Utensils are there for a reason -- so you can eat like a gentleman. Shoveling food into your mouth is not something you should subject your date to. Same goes for talking while chewing. Not only is it unpleasant to watch at a time when your job is to be easy on the eyes, it's a red flag that says you're a little short on self-awareness -- an important characteristic in a mate.
Do you... trim your toenails? Not that your date will necessarily see your toenails right away, but when they do end up eyeballing them, unkept toenails are a guaranteed huge turnoff. It means you don't take care of yourself, and valuing yourself is an important part of a healthy relationship. Plus, let's not forget the damage they can do to the other person's leg when you're snuggling up on the sofa watching movies.
Do you... order "everything on the side" at a restaurant? In other words, do you order like a girl? Please don't. Because if your date has to be tortured by, "I'll have the Cobb salad, but no cheese, avocado, or bacon, and dressing on the side, and the pasta, but no oil please, and extra light on the pinenuts," they may be forced to hide under the table or at least wonder what kind of demanding partner you could be. If you have dietary restrictions, do your best, just don't get into what will happen to your belly if you don't follow them.
Do you... assume you're going to strike out? The Secret said it once but we'll say it again: In a lot of ways, you manifest your own destiny. So, if you have lots of thoughts about being unlucky in love, you may be pushing people away in ways you may not even know. If you assume the worst of the world and yourself, spend a few minutes before your date making a mental list of why you're looking for a relationship and why you are an incredible a catch.
8 comments:
I agree that eye contact is very important.Don't stare but look at her while she talks.
I especially appreciate the comment about proper foot care. Unkempt toenails are a HUGE turn-off and is absolutely percieved as an indicator of other hygiene problems (and therefore possible self-esteem issues too). Thank you for alerting the male population to this neglected area because I've seen it too many times to count. Thanks.
OH, Jay We are so sick of this. Analyzing every aspect of this dating this has grown old. Let it be spontaneous and fun. Good let these guys stay single. We are sick of this nonsense.
Who cares?
Well thanks for your comment, but I care. A lot of guys may not know these things and if they can gain a little insight about turn ons turn offs, then I see nothing wrong with trying to help people.
WeekendDating.com is a site about dating and a lot of people enjoy reading the articles. If you do not, thats fine, my advice is to just not read them. If you have some other ideas on topics for discussion, I am all ears.
Thanks
Jay
Now we need a book for what should be natura
There is a lot of feedback women don't give men because they feel that if the man does this he is so clueless why bother. Some men don't want the feedback, they are under the impression that they have game or that what they are providing is what women want and they couldn't be further from the truth. For instance, a woman wants someone stable and established, but she does not want a braggart. A woman does not want someone who is extremely picky at a restaurant that she wants to hide under the table because he's made 1000 complaints. I could go on and on about the horrors. Please don't stop.
The bottom line is - basically what men seek in a woman (that is, a woman that takes pride in her appearance) health, inside and out - and who is also established, responsible and going somewhere with their life...well...women seek the very same qualities.
In short, do not request something that you cannot provide.
So, if these men continue to fly solo--so be it. Most men are not open to constructive criticism...especially from women. They view it as nagging, or bothersome. They feel they can look like rags, yet demand to be in the presence and have a relationship with a beautiful, put together woman.
No...that's not happening.
I totally and completely agree with Elizabeth! Woman want the same things relatively as guys do, a nice clean appearance, thoughtfulness and consideration...
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