By Christian Carter Dating Advice For Women
Using The “Magic” of Intuition With Men
Have you ever felt “magic” with a man?
Like when the connection you and a guy share is so strong that something inside you just tells you've got something real and special.
That connection and chemistry is almost impossible to describe to someone who doesn't have it, but it's even more impossible to ignore when you've got it.
Even if you know the guy isn't the right kind of guy to be wanting to settle down with.
You can't stop thinking about the man and the connection - it's like a spell over the both of you.
Infatuation, crushes, connections, chemistry or even the “L” word.
That's right, LOVE.
At one time or another, one of these have had almost magical powers over you that make you see, feel and act in ways you never would have before.
Well, believe it or not, there's other magic waiting for you beyond connections or chemistry when it comes to men, dating and relationships.
The best part is that you've got your very own kind of “magic” up your sleeve that you can tap into whenever you want and use it for your own immediate benefit.
What kind of magic and what kind of benefits you ask?
Using this magic could mean the difference between finding out any major issues a guy has before they become a real problem OR getting your heart broken and never have seen it coming.
Let me ask you...
Have you ever been with a guy and he seemed to have it all together?
He was caring, loving, generous, present and aware and you had such an amazing time together.
But then some of his issues popped up out of NOWHERE.
Maybe his issues were some of the dreaded and common ones we predictable and difficult men go through like these:
- He started getting restless and he talked about how he wasn't really ready to settle down.
- He didn't see things getting as serious as you did.
- The connection started fading. He didn't try to connect to you much anymore and share his intimate feelings.
- You weren't a priority. He wanted to spend his time with his friends or other people and didn't value the time you spent together like you did.
- He started flirting, talking to or even getting together with other women even if he wasn't technically “cheating”.
Recognize any of these?
What's going on here?
Here's where your “magic” comes in.
(When I say “magic” in this case, I mean something that will give you perception and insights into situations before and while they're happening)
OK, you might already be thinking,
“Has he lost it?”
“What in the world is he talking about MAGIC for?”
“Who believes in that stuff anyways?”
I'm with you there...
The magic I'm talking about here isn't that far out stuff about conjuring up spells or changing into an animal.
Let's leave that kind of magic to Harry Potter and your imagination.
The magic I'm talking about is different and exists in the real world, but it's just as amazing.
And it centers around an important idea-
*You instinctively know more about what's going on in the world around you than you or your conscious mind fully recognizes.
Wow, getting pretty heavy here.
Don't worry... I'll bring this back down to earth and land the plane quickly. And that's where this will get fascinating...
Here's the kicker-
You ALREADY HAVE this magical ability.
All you have to do is tune into it.
Easier said than done, right. So how does that work?
This “magic” is something that comes “pre-wired” in your brain because of the way your consciousness and your subconscious mind is hooked up to the rest of your complex body systems and senses.
So the good news is that this ability is there for you anytime you want to use it.
But the bad news is that you have to take time to fully tune into it and recognize your ability. Kind of like a practice.
Music is a good analogy for this - You can't just pick up an instrument and start playing, right?
But once you start to become more aware of the instrument, the music and how to play, things start to naturally fall into place.
Sounds, melodies and rhythms just start to flow out of you while you're in the moment.
It's like they appear out of thin air and nothing could feel more natural. And your mind is able to process all the information coming at it and use it to anticipate what's next.
Well, this is EXACTLY what this magical ability of yours is like.
Your mind is constantly picking up on information from your environment, even when you're not really conscious of it.
And all that information is being “processed” over and over to try and calculate the risk, danger, and expectations from your environment to try to find a way towards the outcome you want.
So let's get to it. What is this “magical” ability?
And why am I talking about it?
Well, I'll start with what the ability is...
You're probably already familiar with the word.
But stop right there...
When you hear the term “intuition”, it's easy to attach all of your previous feelings and beliefs about it and dismiss it as some kind of new age “flaky” stuff.
I hear you, but indulge me here by keeping an open mind for a few minutes- I'll make it worth your while.
Well, to put it simply, you'd be cheating yourself by not spending the couple of minutes or so that it takes to open your mind to the natural power of your intuition and how to tune into it.
And that couple of minutes could help you solve some of the age-old challenges women have about knowing and understanding what's really inside a man's heart and mind.
I mean, it's not like men make it very easy for women, right?
I don't have to tell you, but MEN ARE BAD COMMUNICATORS when it comes to their feelings, emotions and intentions around love and relationships.
So knowing that men are often this way, you have a choice here:
You can either do nothing about it and continue to be shocked, frustrated, surprised and hurt by the things you find out about men after the fact.
You can start to create a more perceptive and insightful way of being in your own life and relationships by using more the natural intuitive abilities you already have.
Which one will it be?
Cool... so you're ready to tune into your own intuitive ability.
Good call - let's get rolling.
Using Your Intuition With Men And Dating
Using your intuition might be the best, and in some situations the ONLY, way that you'll be able to see through all the external “behavior stuff” going on with a man and get to the truth of what's really happening inside his mind and what his behavior is when you're not around.
Like when a man plays hard to get, or he doesn't call you much or initiate, or when a man gets close and then withdraws from you right after.
Why do men do this?
For each one of these I've got some interesting insights and theories that can help.
From my perspective, there are some extremely important concepts that you need to understand before you can really “get” where a man is coming from or understand what his behaviors and issues are all about.
First, you need to build your foundation of understanding and make sure your own personal belief systems aren't all mixed up. If they are, there's no way for you to see the real “cause and effect” around you.
You'll just see what your mind is fearful and afraid of, and it will only pick out and see what it knows from the past.
Which is usually is a result of a few things you've experienced before.
Including good relationships, bad relationships, pain, broken trust, destructive behaviors, etc...
Humans learn in all kind of fascinating ways, but not all of them produce decisions and conclusions that reflect the reality of what's actually going on.
That's why I find belief systems so fascinating. Our minds basically act as giant pattern recognition machines - which can either lead us to right or wrong conclusions and ways of perceiving our environment.
But let's bring this back down to earth...
Do you know anyone women close to you who've had difficult relationships in the past?
And now they often have unfounded and negative fears about any man around them?
Their past experiences have had a huge impact on their personal beliefs and how they see themselves and the world.
Anyways, before I get even more off on a tangent-
I've got to get on with it, so I'll need to give you abridged version. In other words, the very shortest route to get away from counterproductive thoughts and beliefs you might already have and onto positive results.
Here are some of the most important concepts you'll need to keep in your mind as you move towards listening to and using your intuition with men:
1. Men Don't Make Sense
All those frustrating things that men do that don't make any sense to you as a woman will NEVER MAKE SENSE. Stop trying to make sense of them for yourself. Trying to make sense of a man in your own terms is entirely counterproductive and gets little or no results other than you becoming increasingly frustrated.
There's a better way.
2. You Can't Figure Everything Out
Have you ever REALLY hit it off with a guy but after a few weeks or months, even though things seemed great, the man pulled away and starting acting distant and cold?
Most men, at one time or another, do things like this that are ridiculous and impossible to figure out. So EXPECT to NOT UNDERSTAND everything a man does. If you can become more comfortable with the idea of not knowing everything about WHY a man does what he does, then you'll feel a strange sense of calm relaxation - along with an increase in your own self-confidence.
I'm not saying that it's OK for a man to do whatever and that you should accept any negative and withdrawing behaviors without bringing it up and confronting it.
You absolutely should take notice and make mention of these things when you see them.
But the more relaxed and positive you can think and feel around these things, no matter what the man is doing, the sooner you'll stop fighting everything in your mind and start creating better situations for yourself.
It's frustrating and counterintuitive, but accepting what's going on and moving forward from that reality in a positive way changes the whole frame of the situation.
But some women get stuck in the “I need to understand why he does this and THEN I'll figure out what to do, think and feel” mindset.
This almost never leads to clear thinking and positive action. Remember, men don't make any sense. So don't depend on their actions making sense for you to develop your own opinions, judgments and next steps.
Pay attention to your gut, what you want in your life and what you know is right instead of rationalizing and finding a way for it to all fit together and be OK.
3. Ask Yourself Questions, Be Patient And Your Intuition Will Talk
Your intuition talks to you through feelings, images, and bodily sensations such as “gut feelings”. Learn to pay attention to what these are trying to tell you and what's going on when they pop up in your mind.
Maybe you're being more open and relaxed when those intuitive gut feelings come to you - so try to get back to that place more often. This way you'll end up being able to tap into your intuition more often when you need it.
If you don't think you have a strong intuitive sense, simply try asking yourself more questions and keep them mulling around in your mind.
When you've got something in the back of your mind, something amazing happens without you even trying.
Your brain takes notice and uses all your senses to find any sign or trace of information that relates to your questions as you go about your day.
It's kind of like a search running in the background on your computer - even though you're doing something else it doesn't stop looking.
After you've asked your questions, your mind will start sending you ideas, feelings and images without you even thinking about it. But sometimes this takes more time than you'd like.
Finally, your intuitive voice will eventually just pop up and start to give you hints and information without you even asking for it. And then it's up to you to pay attention, acknowledge it and make good use of it.
4. Think Positive - Don't Fill Your Mind With Fear And Doubt
Some women end up worrying almost obsessively that something is wrong or going badly with a guy they're interested in or dating once they see some negative sign or pattern.
And once this happens, they want to know what's going on so intently that they start letting their negative and obsessive thoughts take over.
If you want to be able to use your intuition, you need to start interrupting that voice in your head that's the “fear-monger”.
You know the one - that voice that's always worrying just to try and keep you safe and protected.
The thing is, you can't find the truth in a situation if you if your mind is buried in your fears and doubts.
Just like how overly arrogant people can be misled by their false sense of belief in themselves.
Keep a balanced and objective mindset.
5. Start With Smaller, Less Important Questions For Your Intuition To Answer
If your new to using your intuition or you're concerned with if or how to act on it, start with smaller things that might be less important - like whether or not you should go away for the weekend or if your friend will like the gift you've been thinking about for them.
That way, you can be practicing and learn to use your intuition without doing it in high-risk or high-pressure situations. This will help you develop your abilities and become more comfortable to trust what you find with your intuition.
6. Act On Your Intuition With The “Long-Term” In Mind
Years ago I had a huge learning experience when it came to using and listening to my intuition in the right way.
The situation came up when I was worried that a few people I worked with, who were my managers at the time, we're talking about me and scrutinizing my work more closely than they had before.
Feeling and sensing the scrutiny, I immediately felt worried about my job and wondered if they were thinking about letting me go.
The company had laid off several employees a few months before, so I began to think that their extra attention to my work must have something to do with another round of cost-cutting.
Anyways, aside from my own professional insecurities at the time, my gut told me that something bad was coming.
So what should I do?
I was really worried.
I decided to push myself even harder at work to try and show them how valuable I was in hopes that I would keep my job. But that uncomfortable and nervous feeling in my stomach that came with my intuition about their scrutiny of my work stayed with me for the next several weeks.
Well, it turns out that my managers were watching me and judging my performance. But it wasn't for the reasons I feared.
A few weeks later I was called into a meeting with the managers who had been watching me closely.
Walking down the hall to the meeting, I had a lump in my throat and a turning stomach.
My intuition was leading me to the conclusion that this was it - I was getting fired for the first time in my life.
I couldn't believe it.
So I walked into the meeting feelings anxious, defensive and tense.
As I sat down, one of my managers could immediately sense my discomfort and asked me what was wrong.
Without provocation, I immediately started defending my job and showing my insecurities.
My emotions got the best of me and I even said a few negative things about the managers themselves, as I wanted to place what I saw as equal blame on the managers for the companies problems.
They quickly stopped me once I started into these issues.
Then they let me know that they had been watching my performance because they wanted to put me in charge of a new division. They wanted to be confident in their decision so they paid extra attention to my work to be sure - and now they were.
I breathed a huge sigh of relief and my mood completely changed.
End of story.
Thinking back, my intuition had alerted me so that I'd be aware of what was going on.
But the mistake I made was taking that information and using it to justify my own fears and insecurities.
If I would have taken the information, been patient with it and applied it towards my goals in a positive context, then the entire experience knowing that the managers were watching my work would have been fun and enjoyable.
But I didn't use my intuition to see my way to something better, I simply used it as a means to worry and stress myself out.
So all this talk about intuition.
How does it really apply to the men in your life, dating and relationships?
Well, take a man with some of those common negative behaviors we were talking about earlier-
- fear of intimacy
- inability to commit
- flirting, cheating
Intuition can help you see past these things and understand them in the larger context of the deeper real “psychological and emotional stuff” that's hiding beneath the surface.
Your intuition could even help you cut through a man's ego and persona to get to the real person that's hard to find.
I bet you've known a man who other women think would never settle down or have a sensitive side. But you've seen that this actually does have more long term intimate feelings and emotional attachments buried underneath.
Intuition is probably the best tool for being able to identify good and bad qualities in a man - and knowing them for what they are.
A man's external or surface behavior and attitude can be very different than his deeper desires and intentions - as you probably already know.
Some men are, unfortunately, just good at playing the part of an emotionally stable, available and loving guy for a while, even if they aren't.
So it's really up to YOU to learn to get to the “deeper emotional truth” of any man you're interested in or dating.
And yeah, I know men can be sooo frustrating for women.
In a better world, men would be able to tell you honestly and sincerely where they were at.
But as you know, MEN SUCK sometimes.
They can be HORRIBLY out of touch when it comes to feelings and emotions.
So if you're constantly surprised, blind-sided or confused by what people around you do, (most of all men) then it's time to get in touch with the amazing intuitive ability you have waiting for you.
To take your intuition to the next level - the more you already know the better.
For some of the best knowledge out there on what's inside a man's mind, how to identify good men (or the wrong guys), and to read more about the common behaviors most men have when they're either smitten with a woman or desperately unable to get it together, then check out my ebook “Catch Him And Keep Him”.
You can check out all the details here:
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Thanks for reading and best of luck in life and love.
©Copyright 2008, Catch Him Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Copyright materials used by permission.
“Catch Him And Keep Him” and “Christian Carter”
are trademarks of Catch Him Inc.
First, I already knew this and I believe its called common sense. Second, who wants to "catch a man"? To me it sounds like manipulation. If a relationship is going to be working out for the two of us shouldn't we simply explore and learn about each other and see if we "fit" together in a peaceful harmoneous relationship.
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