Dear Jay:
I had attended one of your single mingle events a few months back and have a dilemma. I was chatting with Sarah at the event and she took my number. She was nice and all, but I was really much more interested in her girlfriend Margaret, who also had attended the event.
Margaret let me know that she was also interested, but could not pursue anything with me because I had already given my number to Sarah. What should I do? I had just met them that night, so it is not like I was dating either of them, but I really would like to get to know Margaret better. Perhaps one of your readers has some advice.
Thanks
Bill
Hmm, this sounds like the episode from Seinfeld called "the switch." Any real life George Costanza's out there who can give some advice here? Please post your comments in the blog
8 comments:
There is an interesting and wonderful connection between women friends, one that I treasure...and what this means is that the ball is actually in Margaret's court. It is up to her to discuss the situation with Sarah because (at least to me) her loyalty lies there first. She will then likely base her next move on her friend's true feelings. I would never want to lose the trust and love of one of my friends by hurting her, even unintentionally. Just a female's perspective on this one...
Thats why as much as i hate walking in alone(i am a girl) i dont bring a friend- I am afraid the exact same thing would happen- we'd both like the same guy!as much as its easier if you are shy to go w a friend, it might actually be better to go different nights.
Why don't you just be honest with Margaret's friend, and tell her she's a nice person, but things got mixed up and you are really interested in her friend. That you wanted to let her know right away, from the beginning so noone's feelings get hurt. She will then talk w/ Margaret, and then it's up to her to give you a call if she's interested.
Depends on what size cahuna's you have. I would take them both out, and be up front with them when they are both in your presence. Maybe a menage a trois will be the result?!
I am a female and have been in this situation with a friend of mine. And it might be possible that I have some really cool friends but we have an understanding that whoever clicks with him will keep him. Trust me on the first few dates nothing serious should happen and you would know who you like best. We are all adults here.
i agree with the last comment. go out with both and see which one is better suited. either way you take a chance. if you don't, you might lose out on a great relationship. if you do, you could upset someone. ohhh. so what. do you really want to be involved with someone(s) that are so immature anyway? is it a contest? or is the goal to meet someone you connect with? the answer is always NO until you ask. remember that for everything. and when you are confident in asking the question, it automaticly changes to maybe until you get your answer. : )
I agree with one of the comments. I am always tempted to bring along one of my other female friends but have learned its always easier to go in alone as you don't have to deal with the liking the same guy. Less is more, as they say.
Do you think the door is still open after a few months of no contact?
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