Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Rejection 101

Rejection 101
Has this ever happened to you? You see someone attractive. You make eye contact, smile, and they look away! If it has, you probably thought, “I’ll never do that again.” Relationship expert David Wygant says that’s a mistake. In fact, he believes the more you get rejected - the better!

Why? Because you’re still trying to connect with people. So, get your pencils out - it’s time for a course Wygant calls ‘Rejection 101’:

The other person’s reaction probably has nothing to do with you. More than likely, they’re preoccupied with something else – like a project at work, or just a bad day in general.

When you try to connect. Don’t expect to bat a thousand. Sitting at home alone because one person turned you down is like quitting your job search when your first interview doesn't pan out. Remember, a baseball player who gets a hit just three out of 10 times ends up in the Hall of Fame.

Improve your odds. Wygant says when you feel like you’re getting more than your fair share of “No thank you” responses - ask yourself if there's a reason why. The solution could be as simple as improving your appearance. That means going out in something other then your baggy sweats and favorite Spiderman T-shirt.

Be nice to everyone, not just the lookers. Wygant believes that we’re less likely to be rejected if we practice our social skills on everyone, even people we aren’t attracted to. In other words, every time you thank your waitress or smile at a passerby, you get better at dealing with people.

That means you’ll be more comfortable when the right person crosses your path.


Jay said...

This article reminds me of my friend Joshua. He called me the other day and said:

"Jay, I went up to these two girls last night and said..I had to come over and say hi or I would be kicking myself all night. The two girls looked and me, didn't say a word and walked away."

You might be thinking that Joshua was upset or felt stupid about getting blown off. Heck, I know I would feel awkward if that happened.

Well, that was the furthest thing from the truth. As he was telling me the story he was laughing about it.

So what happened?

Joshua had gone to a dating coach a while back and part of his homework was to approach and talk to EVERYONE he could. Men, Women, Old Ladies, Pretty, Ugly, thin, heavy, it made no difference.

He became so desensitized to talking to people that when he got blown off from women, he was able to let it roll off his back and laugh about it.

So for those of you who don't like to approach strangers... here is your homework....

Talk to 5 new people you see tomorrow and try to make small talk.. The first few will feel very awkward, but by the 4th and 5th, you will notice it is no big deal.

Anonymous said...

I guess the first reaction would be to be embarrassed I know I would be but your right I am out putting myself out there