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Speed Dating New York

Do women want a nice guy?

I just came back from having a drink with two very attractive female friends, Jessica and Susan. While watching football, the conversation revolved around what women want in a man, the "nice guy" or the "bad boy." Susan said "all women will say that they want a nice guy, but the truth is that they really want the bad boy. We are just wired for that."

Shortly after a "bad boy type" walked by and Jessica perked up in her seat as if she saw some candy. She then showed me some pictures of her ex and a guy she is kind of dating. Once again they had that "bad boy look." So the crux of the conversation was that women will say they want a nice guy, and they do, but not always. They want a challenge, and want a man to put them in their place at times. They do not want a doormat. This made me think of another personal experience that may explain why a woman went from cursing at me to wanting to kiss me.

About 8 months ago I did a mingle at the Cats Meow (now closed). Two women came in and said they were just dropping something off to the bartender and would not be staying, therefore did not want to pay the cover charge. About 40 minutes later I noticed they were mingling with the participants from the event. I approached them and told them that they were welcome to stay, but would have to pay the cover charge like everyone else. This resulted in a shouting match that turned ugly when one woman told me to stick the cover charge up my a**.

I am usually very polite at my events, but this was going to be an exception to that rule. Curses were flying and the shouting got heated. Rather than make any more of a scene, I backed off and went to find the manager. She told me the ladies were personal friends of hers and that the bar would take care of the cover, so I let it go. About 40 minutes later I approached the woman from the shouting match to clear the air, so everyone could enjoy the rest of the night. The next thing I know, this woman tries to kiss me. An hour earlier we were cursing at each other and now she wants to kiss me?

One last Example also took place at the Cats Meow at a single mingle on a different night. There was a gorgeous woman in attendance and I was running around like a nut making sure people were mingling. Whereas every guy was trying to talk to her, I basically ignored her because I was just so busy. Eventually things calmed down and we made eye contact, so I went over to see if she was having a good time. The next thing I knew we were sitting on the couch talking and she leaned over and said "you are a heartbreaker, aren't you"? A minute later she attacked me on the couch.

Hmm, I said to myself, this makes no friggin sense. I essentially ignored her most of the night and did not show any interest. How is this a turn on? But it was!! So what happened?? We talked on the phone a few days later and she came to see me at an event the following week.

Unfortunately I had caught a very bad cold and was under the weather, but she came to see me none the less. I knew I was not going to be able to kiss her because I was sick, so I went and bought a bag full of hershey kisses. She hung out with me for a few hours and the chemistry was amazing. Towards the end of the night I said "I knew I would want to kiss you, but I am sick, so here are your kisses anyway", and I gave her the choclate kisses. I could almost see a tear in her eye and she said, "that was so sweet."

So what happened??? I never saw her again and she totally blew me off. She lost her attraction for me because I was too much of a nice guy way too soon. Counter intuitive?? You bet ya.

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