from Tesh.com
The Top Three Dating Deal Breakers
Ladies, if you’re in the dating scene, it isn’t just about knowing what to look for in a mate. It’s also about knowing what to stay away from. So we turned to CNN dating columnist, Audrey Irvine, to find out the top three guys that are total dating deal-breakers.
First deal-breaker is the one-upper. This is the guy who always has to top everything you’ve done or every story you tell. If you ran a half marathon, he just finished his third triathlon. If you’re working on your master’s, he’s got a PhD. Irvine says a man like this can get exhausting. His experiences will always be bigger and better than yours. So before you consider seriously dating a one-upper, think about how you’ll feel when you’re celebrating a big work promotion, and he’s already figuring out how to top you!
Next dating deal-breaker is the back-in-the-day Guy. He’s the guy who’s always talking about the touchdown pass he threw in high-school, or reliving moments from his frat-house days. Irvine says there’s nostalgia, and then there’s “get over it already.” So if those memories are ten years old or older, he’s a dealbreaker!
The final dating deal-breaker: The perfect-in-public Guy. The PIP is great when you’re out to dinner with friends, or at the company Christmas party, but he never turns it off. He always has to be the funniest, loudest person in the room, even when it’s just the two of you watching TV. The PIP is masking some deep insecurities, which is why he spends so much time hiding behind his larger-than-life personality. Unless you’re a therapist with some time on your hands leave the PIP for the next girl!
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2 comments:
My assesment of guys like this is very simple.. insecurities, insecurities, insecurities.
The first guy (the one upper) has to be better than ever one else in order to feed his bottomless pit of low self-esteem (ego). He has never developed the self-confidence to just sit back and let others shine, and have the their moment of glory. If he doesn't "one up" a person, he feels small, or not important enough.
The second guy(past glories) is caught up in a comfort zone and is afraid to try new things, and push for greater success beyond his 9 to 5 job. Men like him tend to feel that they are to old now, and the best days were High School or college. I've met men as young as 25 that feels this way. Fellas life is just begining at 25!
Remember you become what you think about all day long... feel young.. then you are young... feel old.. then you behave old.
The third guy(Mr center of attention) needs to be the center of attention at all times. I should know, I suffered with this for most of my life. It's a bottomless pit, always needing others attention, validation, always wanting every eye and ear in the room to be on you, and being put on a superficial pedistal is their glory. Most people like this tend to suffer from incredible amounts of insecurity and sometimes narcissism and will take attention from just about anyone who will give it to them. They are literally starving for attention, and if they can't get it in a positive form, will even take it in negative, as I did.
The best cure for this is usually therapy. I'm a huge believer in cognitive behavioral therapy as a way to develop overall confidence and learn how to identify and change irrational thoughts and behavioral patterns which are useless, and keep you from having the social success you deserve It's that glass wall that keeps you out of the popular and well liked club.
As imperfect human beings we all have blinders on our own thoughts and behaviors to a certain extent, and can't see ourselves and how we
"really" behave fully. We all have "cognitive filters" these fiters allow us to see reality in our own way(we live in our own reality). Sad but true, and they are not always accurate or our friend, in allowing us to properly evaluate and objectively(not subjectively) see our short comings. Your short comings can be right under your nose and you'll never even know it.
I'm sure you've had a situation where a friend has pointed out an inappropriate behavoir in a social situation, that you were totally oblivious to, and when they told you, you were shocked. After given a little time to think about it, you realized they were right..this is my point.
It can be tricky and you wouldn't think that you would lie to yourself, but you do from time to time. You do(we all do) and if you suffer from a lot of irrational thoughts, and don't know it, you will believe that your behavior and actions are fine, when in reality your subtly turning people off.
Again, I want you to remember although some people are better at seeing their irrational behavior and thought patters than others, we all tend to lie to ourselves here and there. It's extremely important for you to know. JUST BECAUSE YOU BELIEVE SOMETHING DOESN'T MAKE OR MEAN IT'S TRUE
Amazing book to pick up and help you is called "Feeling Good" by David D. Burns,Md "The New Mood Therapy"
Jeff Magic
therapy my help but you could also be blessed with a friend that just tells you the way it is and explains that you may be acting inappropriate
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