From Tesh.com
Romance-Killing Habits You Should Stop
Ladies, does your romance feel like it’s gotten OFF track? Even if you THINK you’ve been giving it your all, some behaviors you may not be aware of can trip up even the strongest relationships. Here are a few romance-killing habits you need to stop, from the researchers at Rodale Publishing.
Incessant teasing. You’re always ribbing your guy about his grubby Red Sox jersey - but is he really taking it all in good fun? Not always. Psychologist Noelle Nelson, the author of The Power of Appreciation in Every Day Life, says when teasing or criticism comes from the woman he loves, a man often interprets it as rejection. It’s like saying, “I want to change THIS about you.” Nelson says this is when a man tends to withdraw, and can become more attracted to people who he feels accept him as is. Not necessarily other women, although that can happen, but he might start spending more time with his buddies. So, lay off the harsh teasing.
Showing up fashionably late – ALL THE TIME. Nelson says flexible arrival times may be cool with your girlfriends, but not with your guy. Tardiness is disrespectful – period. You’re sending the message that he’s not as important as your work, or your yoga class – and it’s another form of rejection. Nelson says when you have a date, assume that it’ll take you 50% MORE time to get to wherever you’re going. That’ll give you enough of a buffer so you won’t be late.
Thinking, “What’s yours is ours.” Grabbing a drink out of his fridge is fine, but when you assume that being in a relationship gives you the right to borrow his stuff without asking, or go poking through his mail - you’ve crossed the line. Dr. Jackie Black, a relationship coach and author of Meet Your Match, says there are NO assumptions in an emotionally healthy relationship. If your man hasn’t clearly stated that it’s OK for you to open his credit card bill or use his laptop, DON’T. Every couple should have a discussion about the things each of you prefer to keep private. It’s not about being secretive, it’s about maintaining a sense of independence in a committed relationship - which is essential to long-term love.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Emailing Dates- Tips
From tesh.com
Tips for Emailing a Potential Online Date
Let’s set the scene: You’ve filled out your online dating profile, picked out a potential date or two, and you’re ready to introduce yourself via email. Stop right there! If you say the wrong thing, you may wreck your chances of making a real connection. So, here are the dos and don’ts to remember before you press “send.” This comes from CNN, and relationship expert, Wendy Atterberry:
The first online dating email tip: Keep it short. Think of dating emails as appetizers. You want to keep your date hungry for more, not ruin their appetite by providing entrée-size portions.
Then: Don’t double-email. In other words, send only one email for each email you receive. Atterberry says writing several emails before you’ve gotten a reply to the first one makes you look obsessed and desperate.
Ask at least one question in each email. Some people have a hard time figuring out what to write to someone they don’t know. So make it easy by giving them at least one question to respond to.
Also, don’t rant. It’s okay to make a quick joke about the neighbor who waits for the elevator instead of walking up one flight of stairs. However, Atterberry says it’s obnoxious to write a five-paragraph essay about how lazy and self-absorbed everybody is.
Wait at least 12 hours to reply. If you respond immediately, you look like you’ve got nothing better to do, and replying too soon can make them feel pressed to try to keep up with you.
Don’t confess your secrets, insecurities, or job frustrations. If you have to confess something, admit that you skipped your weekend workout to hit a jazz festival in your neighborhood. It’s not a deep, dark secret, and it’ll give them an idea about your hobbies and interests.
Finally: Be cautious about sharing personal information. Remember: This person is a stranger. So, don’t share your last name, home address, work location, or personal email address. You don’t want a stranger to know where you live and work before you know a lot more about them.
Tips for Emailing a Potential Online Date
Let’s set the scene: You’ve filled out your online dating profile, picked out a potential date or two, and you’re ready to introduce yourself via email. Stop right there! If you say the wrong thing, you may wreck your chances of making a real connection. So, here are the dos and don’ts to remember before you press “send.” This comes from CNN, and relationship expert, Wendy Atterberry:
The first online dating email tip: Keep it short. Think of dating emails as appetizers. You want to keep your date hungry for more, not ruin their appetite by providing entrée-size portions.
Then: Don’t double-email. In other words, send only one email for each email you receive. Atterberry says writing several emails before you’ve gotten a reply to the first one makes you look obsessed and desperate.
Ask at least one question in each email. Some people have a hard time figuring out what to write to someone they don’t know. So make it easy by giving them at least one question to respond to.
Also, don’t rant. It’s okay to make a quick joke about the neighbor who waits for the elevator instead of walking up one flight of stairs. However, Atterberry says it’s obnoxious to write a five-paragraph essay about how lazy and self-absorbed everybody is.
Wait at least 12 hours to reply. If you respond immediately, you look like you’ve got nothing better to do, and replying too soon can make them feel pressed to try to keep up with you.
Don’t confess your secrets, insecurities, or job frustrations. If you have to confess something, admit that you skipped your weekend workout to hit a jazz festival in your neighborhood. It’s not a deep, dark secret, and it’ll give them an idea about your hobbies and interests.
Finally: Be cautious about sharing personal information. Remember: This person is a stranger. So, don’t share your last name, home address, work location, or personal email address. You don’t want a stranger to know where you live and work before you know a lot more about them.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Settle for Mr. Ok?
From Tesh.com
Should You Settle for "Mr. OK" Instead of Waiting for "Mr. Right"?
Are too many women looking for fairy tale romances? According to Lori Gottleib, the answer is yes. She’s the author of the new book “Marry Him: The Case for Mr. Good Enough.” In the book, she says women get their ideas of what “Mr. Right” is supposed to be like from movies and television. They spend their twenties and early thirties dissing men who might be pretty good, and holding out for a fantasy guy who doesn’t exist. According to Gottleib, these women end up over 40 and alone while their friends are getting married and having kids. She says women need to get over the “Mr. Right” fantasy and realize that men can have faults and still be marriage material. The sooner they do that, the sooner they can find a guy they can spend the rest of their lives with.
Gottleib says passion and romance should come second to finding a guy who’s just a plain ‘ol good guy. However, a lot of women aren’t too pleased with Gottleib’s assessment that they should “settle” for a man. Take Newsweek Columnist, Julia Baird. She says there’s no reason for women to settle for a humdrum marriage to a boring guy, just so they can buy a white dress or have kids. She says, sure, some women are too picky and they think Mr. Right has to ride in on a white horse and sweep them off their feet, but the majority of women who stay single into their forties didn’t do it because they couldn’t find a man. They stayed single because they were concentrating on their education or their careers. There’s nothing wrong with waiting for what you want, as long as you’re prepared to never find it.
Should You Settle for "Mr. OK" Instead of Waiting for "Mr. Right"?
Are too many women looking for fairy tale romances? According to Lori Gottleib, the answer is yes. She’s the author of the new book “Marry Him: The Case for Mr. Good Enough.” In the book, she says women get their ideas of what “Mr. Right” is supposed to be like from movies and television. They spend their twenties and early thirties dissing men who might be pretty good, and holding out for a fantasy guy who doesn’t exist. According to Gottleib, these women end up over 40 and alone while their friends are getting married and having kids. She says women need to get over the “Mr. Right” fantasy and realize that men can have faults and still be marriage material. The sooner they do that, the sooner they can find a guy they can spend the rest of their lives with.
Gottleib says passion and romance should come second to finding a guy who’s just a plain ‘ol good guy. However, a lot of women aren’t too pleased with Gottleib’s assessment that they should “settle” for a man. Take Newsweek Columnist, Julia Baird. She says there’s no reason for women to settle for a humdrum marriage to a boring guy, just so they can buy a white dress or have kids. She says, sure, some women are too picky and they think Mr. Right has to ride in on a white horse and sweep them off their feet, but the majority of women who stay single into their forties didn’t do it because they couldn’t find a man. They stayed single because they were concentrating on their education or their careers. There’s nothing wrong with waiting for what you want, as long as you’re prepared to never find it.
Settle for Mr. Ok?
Should You Settle for "Mr. OK" Instead of Waiting for "Mr. Right"?
Are too many women looking for fairy tale romances? According to Lori Gottleib, the answer is yes. She’s the author of the new book “Marry Him: The Case for Mr. Good Enough.” In the book, she says women get their ideas of what “Mr. Right” is supposed to be like from movies and television. They spend their twenties and early thirties dissing men who might be pretty good, and holding out for a fantasy guy who doesn’t exist. According to Gottleib, these women end up over 40 and alone while their friends are getting married and having kids. She says women need to get over the “Mr. Right” fantasy and realize that men can have faults and still be marriage material. The sooner they do that, the sooner they can find a guy they can spend the rest of their lives with.
Gottleib says passion and romance should come second to finding a guy who’s just a plain ‘ol good guy. However, a lot of women aren’t too pleased with Gottleib’s assessment that they should “settle” for a man. Take Newsweek Columnist, Julia Baird. She says there’s no reason for women to settle for a humdrum marriage to a boring guy, just so they can buy a white dress or have kids. She says, sure, some women are too picky and they think Mr. Right has to ride in on a white horse and sweep them off their feet, but the majority of women who stay single into their forties didn’t do it because they couldn’t find a man. They stayed single because they were concentrating on their education or their careers. There’s nothing wrong with waiting for what you want, as long as you’re prepared to never find it.
Are too many women looking for fairy tale romances? According to Lori Gottleib, the answer is yes. She’s the author of the new book “Marry Him: The Case for Mr. Good Enough.” In the book, she says women get their ideas of what “Mr. Right” is supposed to be like from movies and television. They spend their twenties and early thirties dissing men who might be pretty good, and holding out for a fantasy guy who doesn’t exist. According to Gottleib, these women end up over 40 and alone while their friends are getting married and having kids. She says women need to get over the “Mr. Right” fantasy and realize that men can have faults and still be marriage material. The sooner they do that, the sooner they can find a guy they can spend the rest of their lives with.
Gottleib says passion and romance should come second to finding a guy who’s just a plain ‘ol good guy. However, a lot of women aren’t too pleased with Gottleib’s assessment that they should “settle” for a man. Take Newsweek Columnist, Julia Baird. She says there’s no reason for women to settle for a humdrum marriage to a boring guy, just so they can buy a white dress or have kids. She says, sure, some women are too picky and they think Mr. Right has to ride in on a white horse and sweep them off their feet, but the majority of women who stay single into their forties didn’t do it because they couldn’t find a man. They stayed single because they were concentrating on their education or their careers. There’s nothing wrong with waiting for what you want, as long as you’re prepared to never find it.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
First Date Conversation Topics
From Tesh.com
What Should You Talk About on a First Date?
You’d think the hardest part of a first date is getting up the courage to ask someone out, but experts say it’s actually figuring out what to talk about on your date! So, here’s how to have a first date conversation that could lead to that all-important date #2, courtesy of the researchers at News Corp.
When asking personal questions, tread carefully around past romances. Their last relationship could have ended badly, and you don’t want to start your potential relationship out on the wrong foot. Also, avoid asking about their parents. They could have unresolved issues that are too serious for a first-date conversation. Instead, ask about their siblings. Brothers and sisters usually trigger good feelings, and your questions show that you’re interested in their family life.
Ask about their likes and dislikes on things like food, sports, hobbies, and travel. Finding common ground can lead to other topics, like where your date would like to go on their next vacation or what movie they’d like to see tomorrow night.
Another good topic of conversation: Work. For the most part, people like to talk up their job, no matter how mundane it is. Listening to their spiel will also give you an idea whether they’re a workaholic, a slacker, or a dreamer.
You should also ask about their friends. Hearing what someone’s friends are like, how they met, and what they do for fun can give you great insight into your date’s personality, and how they interact with other people.
Finally – if your date is leaning in and fully engaged in the conversation, go ahead and broach the subject of future plans. If they’re looking around the room, giving you one-word answers, or picking up their cellphone to check for text messages – date number one may be the first and last.
What Should You Talk About on a First Date?
You’d think the hardest part of a first date is getting up the courage to ask someone out, but experts say it’s actually figuring out what to talk about on your date! So, here’s how to have a first date conversation that could lead to that all-important date #2, courtesy of the researchers at News Corp.
When asking personal questions, tread carefully around past romances. Their last relationship could have ended badly, and you don’t want to start your potential relationship out on the wrong foot. Also, avoid asking about their parents. They could have unresolved issues that are too serious for a first-date conversation. Instead, ask about their siblings. Brothers and sisters usually trigger good feelings, and your questions show that you’re interested in their family life.
Ask about their likes and dislikes on things like food, sports, hobbies, and travel. Finding common ground can lead to other topics, like where your date would like to go on their next vacation or what movie they’d like to see tomorrow night.
Another good topic of conversation: Work. For the most part, people like to talk up their job, no matter how mundane it is. Listening to their spiel will also give you an idea whether they’re a workaholic, a slacker, or a dreamer.
You should also ask about their friends. Hearing what someone’s friends are like, how they met, and what they do for fun can give you great insight into your date’s personality, and how they interact with other people.
Finally – if your date is leaning in and fully engaged in the conversation, go ahead and broach the subject of future plans. If they’re looking around the room, giving you one-word answers, or picking up their cellphone to check for text messages – date number one may be the first and last.
Tuesday, February 09, 2010
She will fall in love with you
By Chris Tyler
So, you've met or know a woman that you just cannot seem to get out of your mind. Everywhere you go and everything that you do, you find yourself drifting back to thoughts of her. You want to be able to make her fall in love. You want her to say that she feels the same way about you. Feeling like this and NOT knowing what to do to make her feel the same is not a fun spot to be in.
You have to be able to make her feel the same way for you.
How should you go about it?
1. Never start off with a woman trying to be everything to her. You are only going to set yourself up for failure and a big letdown if you try to be everything to a woman. Trying to be everything for a woman does nothing but too much pressure on you also make her see you as a friend or a buddy and nothing more. To get to the point where she feels real attraction for you, you want it to be for something more than just doing favors for a woman.
2. You've got to get her dancing. What I mean by this, is that you have to lead, but she has to follow you. If you flirt with her, if you do anything at all to build attraction with her, then you have to make sure that she responds. If she doesn't, then you either have to try something else or move on. Most guys will keep pushing forward even when they are not getting anything back from a woman and then they wonder why they never get to be more to her.
3. Create sexual tension with a woman. This is a necessary part of making a woman fall in love with you. The difference between a platonic love that a woman feels for her friend and one that she's in love with in a romantic way is the sexual attraction. If you don't do a thing to make her feel sexual attraction when she is with you, then you are going to have to get used to just a platonic love with her.
It might seem to be a challenge or almost improbable to make a woman fall in love, but you can learn how. Your focus has to be more on making her feel a certain way than it is on doing things for her.
So, you've met or know a woman that you just cannot seem to get out of your mind. Everywhere you go and everything that you do, you find yourself drifting back to thoughts of her. You want to be able to make her fall in love. You want her to say that she feels the same way about you. Feeling like this and NOT knowing what to do to make her feel the same is not a fun spot to be in.
You have to be able to make her feel the same way for you.
How should you go about it?
1. Never start off with a woman trying to be everything to her. You are only going to set yourself up for failure and a big letdown if you try to be everything to a woman. Trying to be everything for a woman does nothing but too much pressure on you also make her see you as a friend or a buddy and nothing more. To get to the point where she feels real attraction for you, you want it to be for something more than just doing favors for a woman.
2. You've got to get her dancing. What I mean by this, is that you have to lead, but she has to follow you. If you flirt with her, if you do anything at all to build attraction with her, then you have to make sure that she responds. If she doesn't, then you either have to try something else or move on. Most guys will keep pushing forward even when they are not getting anything back from a woman and then they wonder why they never get to be more to her.
3. Create sexual tension with a woman. This is a necessary part of making a woman fall in love with you. The difference between a platonic love that a woman feels for her friend and one that she's in love with in a romantic way is the sexual attraction. If you don't do a thing to make her feel sexual attraction when she is with you, then you are going to have to get used to just a platonic love with her.
It might seem to be a challenge or almost improbable to make a woman fall in love, but you can learn how. Your focus has to be more on making her feel a certain way than it is on doing things for her.
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