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Is he into you?

2009-11-26T17:20:00.001-08:00

From http://www.tesh.com/

Is He Into You or Not?

Ladies, here are the signs according to science and relationship expert Dr. Kevin Hogan, author of Irresistible Attraction.

If he’s into you, he’ll fuss over you. Let’s say you’re in mid-conversation and he reaches over to brush a piece of fuzz off your sweater – he isn’t focusing on your imperfections, he’s showing interest. Dr. Hogan calls it “lint picking.” Animals do it – they’ll swat bugs away from their mate, or groom each other. It’s an excuse to enter into your personal space.

Another sign of attraction? He’ll look slightly shocked. If you pay close attention, you’ll see a man slightly lift his eyebrows and look surprised while talking to you. It’s a subconscious reaction when a man sees something he likes.

Another clue that he’s into you? He’ll turn his chest toward you. According to anthropologist and relationship expert Helen Fisher, author of Why Him? Why Her? - when a man points his chest in your direction, you’re on his radar. She says it’s the same as when a gorilla pounds his chest and roars – it’s a way to command attention. For a man, it means “Look at me! I’m important!”

One last sign that he’s into you: He’ll slouch his shoulders. Once you’re engaged in conversation, he’ll ditch the gorilla act and slump forward, rounding his shoulders to appear smaller. Dr. Hogan says slouching is a way for a man to seem more approachable and less threatening to a woman. His posture is sending the signal, “I’m on your level, let’s connect.” Anthropologist Dr. Fisher says his relaxed posture means he’s comfortable in your presence.

So let’s review: If he picks lint off your sweater, raises his eyebrows, turns his gorilla chest toward you, and then slouches once you’re talking – he’s into you.

What your guy is saying

2009-11-23T15:18:00.000-08:00

From http://www.tesh.com/

What Is Your Guy Really Saying?

Ladies, it’s time to translate a few “man-phrases” for you. Like, what a man means when he says, “I’ll call you.” The translations come from Steve Santagati, a relationship expert from “The Today Show”:

Okay, so when a guy says, “I’ll call you” – what he means is “I may call you.” Santagati says a man will definitely ask for your phone number if he likes you, but he could also just be looking for quick way to end the conversation. So, don’t count on getting a call.

If a man says, “I’ve been busy lately,” it could mean two things. Santagati says, if you’ve been dating less than six months, it means, “I’ve lost interest in you.” If you’ve been dating longer, it means, “I like you, but I also need to focus on other things.” Bottom line: You may be a big part of his life – but he’s also got a job, friends and family, too.

When a guy says, “I need some space,” what does he mean? “This relationship is moving too fast.” It could also mean: “It’s over.” Santagati recommends asking if he still wants to date you. If he says “yes,” turn back the clock to early courtship behavior where he calls to ask you out on dates. Also, spend time with your friends, take classes, and pursue your own interests. That way, you’re not so dependent on him.

When a man says, “I love spending time with you.” He actually means, “I love you – I think.” Santagati says that just saying the word “love” may be his ways of dipping his toe in the “I love you” waters to see how it feels. So, don’t make a big deal out of it.

Finally, when a guy says, “I want this to last forever” he means, “I’m really happy right now.” Santagati says that if you’re wondering if your relationship has a future, a man’s behavior is more important than his words. For example, is he physically affectionate? Does he remember the things that are important to you? Is he supportive when you need it? If you can answer “yes” to all those questions, your relationship is doing just fine.

Long Island Speed Dating

Love at First Sight?

2009-11-16T16:26:00.000-08:00

From www.Tesh.com

Love at First Sight Really Does Exist

Is there really such a thing as love at first sight? A lot of scientists say, “Yes.” That it’s definitely possible to realize you’ve met “The One” within three minutes of laying eyes on them. Dr. Helen Fisher is the author of Why Him? Why Her? She says that from the beginning of time, humans have been designed to instantly sort out friends from enemies. In ancient times, it helped keep people safe. Today, we use those same skills to size up a potential partner. Here are the facts on attraction:
First, it takes less than one second to decide whether you find someone physically attractive, which means, your brain immediately eliminates anyone who’s too short or too tall for you, too old or too young, or too scruffy or too well-scrubbed for your taste.

Next, if they fit your general concept of “The One,” you focus on their voice. Once again, you decide whether you like it in a matter of seconds. So, what are we looking for in a voice? Women think men with full, deep voices are better looking than they really are. Men are more attracted to women with higher-pitched voices, or who sound breathy, like Marilyn Monroe. Studies show that men and women think people who speak faster are smarter.

What else happens in the first three minutes of meeting someone? You judge their words. Studies show that we tend to like people who use the same kinds of words we do, whether they’re short words or long words, descriptive words, or scientific words, formal words or slang. Dr. Fisher says you’re more likely to fall in love at first sight if your first conversation turns to something you think is important - like music, kids, or work – and you’re both totally in agreement.

Of course, love at first sight doesn’t happen to everyone. Researchers at Ben-Gurion University in Israel found that only 11% of people say their long-term relationships started at “hello.” However, if you like someone even slightly, the more similar you are – as far as your values, education, background and morals - the more the attraction will grow over time. Whether it’s love at first sight – or love in hindsight – those first three minutes can make or break your romance.

Guys with Grey Hair

2009-11-12T12:17:00.000-08:00

Video Testimonial #1

2009-11-09T17:27:00.000-08:00

Our first couples reunion brought back 18 people (9 couples) who have either gotten married or are in long term committed relationships as a result of our weekenddating.com events.
It was held on November 1st at Alletos Restaurant in Lindenhurst (218 Montauk HwyLindenhurst, NY 11757, 631- 226-9205) Great food, great service. Ask for the owner Joe if you go on a date there and mention WeekendDating so he can try to seat you where our reunion couples were.

Call her?

2009-11-03T13:05:00.000-08:00

Dear Jay,

Can you please post this situation for your readers.

I recently met a woman at an event and she was absolutely gorgeous. This is the type of woman that gets hit on constantly and has many choices. We were a match, and I emailed her the next day. Four days later, she got back to me and said that she did not check her email much, however really enjoyed hearing from me. I replied back and again, another 3 or 4 days later, she got back to me.

In the next email, I asked for her phone number and she replied almost immediately with a nice note and the phone number. I called a few days later, and no return call. I said to myself, what the heck and called her again the following week. While I was leaving her a voice message, my call waiting kicked in and it was her.

She said that she wanted to get back to me, but couldn't really talk because she was doing something with her daughter and asked if she could call me back later that night. I said it was not a problem, and that I looked forward to speaking with her later that night.

More than a week has gone by and no response. I say to myself, why the hell did she return my call in the first place (and yes, she swears she knew it was me who called), if she had no interest?

I asked my friend Monica about this and mentioned that I was going to send one last email. Monica scolded me and said that under no circumstances should I contact her again. "If she is interested, she will call you"......

and.....

"If she does call you and leaves a voice message, DO NOT CALL HER BACK. If she gets you on the phone, say "it was nice hearing from you, but I am in the middle of something and have to go." Monica said DO NOT tell her that you will call her back. Monica said that when you don't call her back, it will drive her crazy and say why isnt this guy up my behind like the rest and that she will call you back.

This counter intuitive game playing stuff is driving me nuts. Does it ever end?

Can he really grow on you??

2009-10-28T13:51:00.000-07:00

Ever heard the saying "Men love with their eyes, Women love with their ears."

A few recent conversations seems to reinforce this, but what do you think?

Coversation with Laurie

I went out to lunch with my friend Laurie who told me about a recent dating experience. She was set up on a blind date and had absolutely no attraction to the guy. By the end of the date, he said or did a few things that grew on her, and she agreed to go out with him again. By the end of the second or third date, she started to genuinely like the guy. So he went from having no shot, to having this great gal start to like him as more than a friend.

Guys, does this hold true for you? If you are not initally attracted to a woman, but start to like her personality, could it go past a friend stage? Ladies, has the above type of scenario happened to you?

Coversation #2- See video below from Toni.

Toni recently attended a speed dating event. She told me that she came in, looked at the guys and wanted to walk out the back door because she did not see anyone she was attracted to. Another nice lady, stopped her from leaving, and explained that it would really mess Jay up because the gender balance would be off. Thus Tami stayed.

Good thing she did, because she is completely gaga for a guy she met at the event. She went from having no attraction to anyone, to having a guy that she is crazy about.

Guys, same question? If you are not initially attracted, but start to really like her personality, could it go past the friend stage? Ladies, has this happened to you?

Couples get together

2009-10-22T10:45:00.000-07:00

2009-10-22T10:19:00.000-07:00

From www.Tesh.com

The "Dos" and "Don'ts" of Text-Flirting

Let’s face it: Dating was complicated enough before cell phones. Now, many new couples express their affection for each other in text messages more than in person! Unless you know what you’re doing, so-called “text flirting” can either improve your relationship or send your date packing! So, let’s break down some “dos” and “don’ts” of text flirting, with relationship intel we found on CNN:

DON’T plan your first date with a text message. Most women agree that guys should make an effort to actually dial a phone and call them at the start of a relationship. Otherwise, a text invitation to spend time together will feel too informal, and your date won’t feel like you respect her. One woman interviewed by CNN put it this way: If a guy she barely knew started sending her flirty text messages, it’d feel like a total stranger using pick-up lines! Creepy.
However, after your first date:

DO let the text flirting begin. The women interviewed by CNN agreed that text-flirting can be fun after you’ve established chemistry with someone. The texts don’t have to be long and poetic. Something as simple as “thinking of you” is enough. The key is to send your flirty texts at random, unexpected times. They’ll feel more genuine that way.

DON’T use emoticons in your flirty texts! Again, this was something the women interviewed by CNN were unanimous about. They said sideways smiley faces, and lovey-dovey heart symbols, are annoying enough when they come from other women. So just don’t do it.
If the relationship doesn’t work out, DON’T break up with a text. Most women agree that’s tacky! Even if you can’t muster the willpower to break up in person, you should at least extend the courtesy of a phone call.

By the way: It should go without saying that “sexting” your new date is a definite DON’T, because the women interviewed by CNN said they’d do one of two things if they received half-naked photos from a guy on their phone: They’d either show all their friends for a good laugh or they’d call the police.

2009-10-19T14:29:00.000-07:00

Hi, please let me know what you think of this proposed free event.

Safe alternatives to CD's for singles

With CD's paying 1-2%, I went on a hunt to find a safe alternative and was introduced to the world of Triple Tax Free Municipal Bonds.

Bonds? What?? You Crazy?? I am not tying my money up for 30 years!!.

After I was educated a little more about bonds, I found they seem to be a pretty safe investment and DO NOT require you to keep them to maturity.

So...........

Are you interested in a free 30-45 minute event where you can learn about understanding bonds and how they may be a great alternative to cd's? This event would be held by a licensed financial advisor and WOULD NOT...I repeat WOULD NOT be a sales pitch. It would be educational in nature.

If enough people are interested (leave me a comment below or email me at Info@WeekendDating.com) I will set it up.

PS- The event would come with some free food :)

Thanks

Jay

PSS- Full Disclosure- I recently bought Triple Tax Free municipal bonds myself, however would not receive any value from this

Bad Break up Reasons

2009-10-19T14:02:00.001-07:00

From www.Tesh.com

Bad Reasons to Break Up

Sometimes it’s clear when a relationship has run its course, but some couples throw in the towel before they’ve really tried to make it work. They think some problems are impossible to work through. So, here are a few BAD reasons to break up. These are from Dr. Neil Clark Warren, author of Falling in Love for All the Right Reasons:

The first bad break-up reason: You've had a big fight. Disagreeing is inevitable – you know that. What you may not know is that having a conflict with your partner will strengthen your bond in the long run. Psychologists agree that the way you resolve your differences can help your relationship climb to new levels. It helps you understand your partner better - what sets them off, what makes them tick. So don’t head for the door when you don’t see eye-to-eye. Stay put and talk it out.

Bad breakup reason #2: Your partner finds other people attractive. Yes, you’ve captured your partner’s heart - but you haven’t poked out their eyes! Physically attractive people are everywhere - on TV, on billboards, and yes - even in the local supermarket. The experts say it’s naïve to think that these people will go unnoticed. In a good, committed relationship, people aren’t cut off to external influences – including you. It’s acting on those influences that’s a recipe for disaster. So no matter where you are or who you’re with – act as if your partner can hear and see everything you’re doing.

One last bad reason to break-up: The relationship doesn’t always make you happy. Here’s a newsflash: your relationship doesn’t exist JUST to make you happy. You’re still responsible for yourself, for accomplishing your individual goals and for keeping yourself entertained. If you’ve abandoned all your hobbies and ambitions because you’re expecting your relationship to fulfill all your needs - you’ve made a fatally BAD MOVE. That’s too much pressure for your partner, and too high of an expectation from your relationship. So take responsibility for your own happiness.

If you don’t, you’ll just keep jumping from partner to partner, because ultimately, nobody can make you happy but yourself.

A funny joke

2009-10-12T17:36:00.000-07:00

Enjoy!

DUCKS IN HEAVEN !!!
Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven.When they get there, St. Peter says,

'We only have one rule here in heaven:
Don't step on the ducks!'
So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place.
It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.
St. Peter chains them together and says,
'Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to
spend eternity chained to this ugly man!'

The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.

The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained
for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps..
She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on

.... very tall, long eyelashes, muscular. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.

The happy woman says,

'I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?'
The guy says, 'I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck.

Why do men in their 40's think Im old?

2009-10-12T17:17:00.000-07:00

Source: http://www.more.com/2041/6566-why-do-men-in-their

Why Do Men in Their 40s Think I'm Old?
by Rachel Greenwald Guest Writer

Dear Rachel,

I’m single at 44 years old, and men who are near my age seem only to be interested in younger women. I’m active and feel very young, and everyone says I look much younger than my age, but when men in their forties can (and do) date women in their thirties, and when they don’t even respond to my emails through online dating, it makes me feel ancient! How can I overcome this problem?

Signed,
Ancient in Atlanta

Dear Ancient,

This is a real issue, and I see it everywhere. Men in their 40’s often date women in their 30’s (even 20’s!); men in their 50’s often date women in their 40’s (even 30’s!). This leaves a gaping hole in the singles arena of fabulous women looking for men near their age. The U.S. Census (2008) echoes this problem: there are 30 million single women and only 20 million single men over 40. Yikes! It reminds me of the lost-sock-in-the-dryer phenomenon: you put two socks in the clothes dryer, but only one sock comes out. Where did the other sock go? And where did all the single men your age go? The answer is that men date younger, and men die younger too.

Okay, so we know the reality and it’s unfair, but it’s not hopeless. It requires a shift in your thinking to view this problem differently. Instead of asking yourself, “Why do men in their 40’s think I’m too old?”, you should be asking, “Who thinks I’m young? And who thinks I’m hot?” Now, with these questions, there seem to be two answers: much older men and much younger men. Fifty to 60-year old men think a 44-year old is young, and some men in their late 20’s and 30’s think a 44-year old is hot.

Now, before you start screaming that you don’t want to marry an old man or a baby, consider this core principle from the business world: “You have to sell what people want to buy.” If you’re trying to sell the most delicious candy bar in the world, but all your customers want to buy ice cream, you should sell ice cream. Sure, there are not many women whose first choice is to marry someone 10+ years older or younger, but if that’s the reality of whom you attract, and you really want to find a loving partner, it’s better to face it now rather than spend years alone trying to “sell” something few people want to “buy.”

This doesn’t mean you are going to “settle”: of course not! I want you to find someone wonderful, but “wonderful” isn’t defined by a number. And it doesn’t mean you have to give up on the men closer to your age, but it DOES mean that you need to cast a wider net. Change your online profile to search for men ages 29 to 59, and tell your friends you’re open to fix-ups in this wider age range. Be open to the possibility that Mr. Right may come wrapped in a totally different package (much older or much younger) than you’ve always envisioned. Remember that your real goal is to find happiness, which is age-less.

Older Men & Younger Women?

2009-10-01T13:47:00.000-07:00

Last week was our first Mature Women (ages 36-48), younger Man (ages 27-41) speed dating event and I will admit that I was surprised at the turnout and the overall positive feedback. About 95% of the participants received at least one match or one-way match.

I can admit this now, but when I first posted the event, I thought the chance of a successful turnout would have been about 25%. The overwhelming majority of guys I speak with are still looking for a gal that is a bit younger, however times are changing and more guys in their 20's and 30's are open to meeting a woman a little bit older.

I am exploring the possibility of doing another Mature Women, Younger Man event. If you are a man in your 30's or 40's who is interested in meeting women in their late 40's and 50's, please email me at Info@WeekendDating.com

Since I was wrong about the event above being a success, I open up the suggested event proposal below (Older Men, Younger Women) to your comments.

Thanks

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Hi Jay,

I noticed that you have done an older women younger men speed dating event, so why not do younger women older men; possibly females 33-43,males 49-59. Possibly charge the guys more and give the women an incentive to go. Food for thought. Thanks....AT
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Hi AT,

I asked a few ladies about your idea and they were outraged to say the least. The feedback is that almost all of my events have the guys older than the women, and the older women younger men event is not the norm.

Question for you though.

For the speed dating, I do have the event where the women are 37-49 and the guys are 40-53. I don't do it a lot, but it does exist. Is that not close to what you are suggesting?

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Hi Jay

Not exactly. Someone like myself 53, with 54 in Feb is looking for younger women....37-43 or so. I am not interested in the older speed dating. I am surprised at the response you got, some women are receptive to older guys who are fit etc.
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Hi AT

I will put this in the newsletter and see what kind of response I get.

Jay gets a clothes makeover

2009-09-15T09:18:00.000-07:00

As the end of the summer was approaching, I said it was time for me to get a "new look" and asked my friend Laura for some advice.

She agreed to take me out shopping and we spent a few hours going to different stores and trying on everything from jeans to shirts to work clothes to shoes.
Some guys have a great fashion sense, others know the basics but need some help (me) and others are completely clueless.

Laura said "Jay, you have the color matching down pat, but your clothes just don't seem to fit right. You need help with the cut. Your jeans don't fit right in the butt. You also need to mess up your hair a little."

The end result was that I bought 2 pairs of jeans (that fit right), 3 pullover shirts, two button down shirts and a few sports coats. I was comfortable with everything purchased, but did leave a few suggested items out (they were just not me). We ran out of time, so I didn't get to ask her about the hair style suggestion or shoes, so that will come next.

I wore my new outfits over the next few days and felt like a million bucks.
As we were shopping, the light bulb went off. There are a LOT of other guys that could benefit from getting a new look and I am helping Laura start up a business for it.

Bottom Line
Guys, years ago women were burned at the stake for being "witches." It was not that they were witches, it was that they were just so intuitive and things came so naturally to them, that took us guys a lot to learn.

So, if what you are doing now is not working with attracting women, MAKE A CHANGE. An easy way is to ask a trusted female friend to give you her honest advice on your look and take you out shopping.

If you do not have a female friend you trust to do this with, Laura is available to go shopping with you, and give you an honest opinion on your "look."

She is available in Nassau and Suffolk only at this time. She charges $99 for up to two hours.

For a very limited time, any guys who sign up for this package will also get a free regular speed dating ($40 value) event thrown in (but you must wear your new clothes to the event).

Ladies, I am curious to know if you think there is a market to offer these services to ladies as well?

Is your home woman friendly

2009-08-20T15:54:00.000-07:00

Guys, have you been on a few dates with a woman, things seem to be going well, she eventually gets to see where you live, and then BAM, she is never to be heard from again??

Well, it is possible that your home is not women friendly! Little things that as guys, we would think is no big deal, can be a major turnoff for some women, and for others a total deal breaker.

I recently had a very attractive female friend stay with me for a week while she was in town on business. We have been friends for about 6 and a half years and she slept in the same bed with me, so I do trust her judgment.
[PS. Nothing happened. My dad has since disowned me and several friends have asked me if I have gone over to the other side. For the record, I have not gone over to the other side, "not that there is anything wrong with that" -Seinfeld

Ok back to the story. Lets just say that the week was a major learning experience. From the layout of my apartment, to some of my clothes, to the color of my walls, having a regular plastic garbage can instead of a stainless steel that matched the rest of the kitchen., I got some constructive feedback, some of which I agreed with, and some of which I did not.

She also threw out 90% of my undershirts. Well she didn't actually throw them out, she gave the shirts to her dog to use as a bed. Why?? They were worn out. I let her give them to the dog because she did have a point.
Did I do everything she suggested?? Nope, however I do keep it in mind, and will make some changes little by little.

Other female friends have told me that they look at a guys toothbrush, check out the bathtub and much more if going to a guys home. Some things raise some red flags and others can make her never return again.

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What should you do?- Ask a female Friend

Guys, if you have a good female friend that you trust, ask her to come over and give you her honest opinion of any possible things that may scare a woman if they visit. Ask her for an honest opinion on your clothes and see if she will go shopping with you (if your wardrobe needs an overhaul).

Or, I have some female friends who can help you

I have have a few very attractive female friends who will visit your home to help with ideas to make it more appealing, let you know if you need to burn your clothes, and can even take you shopping.
I do not know what they will charge, but if you are interested, please email me at info@WeekendDating.com and I will find out.

Please comment in the blog

Rules for replying to personal ads

2009-08-11T06:48:00.000-07:00

From www.Tesh.com
Despite the tight economy, more and more people are flocking to online dating sites. According to Whitney Casey, who wrote the book The Man Plan, men still don’t know how to talk to women online. So, here are Casey’s tips for the right way to reply to a woman’s profile, courtesy of Match.com:
Follow her lead. If a woman’s profile is long, thoughtful and uses proper English, don’t reply with slang, insults, or text-message shorthand. Make sure you spell-check! For example, if she says she’s a Cubs fan and plays in a dodge-ball league, don’t say: “The Cubs are losers. But that’d be a great way to meet someone – hit ‘em in the face with a dodge-ball!” Bottom line: If you don’t make a good impression in writing, you won’t get the chance to make a good impression in person.

Ask questions, and share information about yourself. It may sound simple, but Casey says most men don’t make conversation – they just make contact. So, ask at least three questions in your first email, and answer the questions yourself. For example: “How long have you lived in New York? I’ve been here for six years, and I love Greenwich Village”.

Personalize your reply. Skip generic comments like, “I’m sure you hear this all the time – but you’ve got a smile that matches your perky personality.” Why? Because you could’ve sent that email to anybody, and she’ll think you didn’t bother to actually read her profile.

Finally, take it slowly. In other words, don’t say, “Hi, I’m single, fun, and ready to be the man in your life.” Women find pushy and overly-enthusiastic guys downright creepy. The smart move: Trade at least three emails and a phone call, and then ask to meet. After all, if you can’t make a good impression via email, you probably won’t click in person, either.

How long do you wait to contact her?

2009-08-06T16:05:00.001-07:00

Hi,

I think this will help alot of women. Ask men this, after they meet a women how long do they wait to contact her and why? Then after the first date how long do they wait. Would it bother them if women call them after a first date to make plans to go out.

Ali

Speedos are a no no

2009-08-03T08:06:00.000-07:00

As I was lying by the lake at Club Getaway this past weekend, I heard a roar and then the scream "SPEEDOS", "SPEEDOS", "SPEEDOS."

He probably had no idea that he was the talk of the town. How could he know? If nobody was nice enough to tell him, he could go on and on, not having a clue. Guys, in case you have any old pairs of speedo's that you are tempted to wear, you may want to throw them out, or use them as a rag. Although there may be a few ladies that like them, the consensus this past weekend, is that the speedos have got to go.

So lets talk about some other no no's, fashion or otherwise that the opposite sex should know about. Even if you think it should be totally obvious, say it anyway. This poor guy who got the nickname "speedos" for the weekend, had no clue, so lets help each other out and spell out even the "obvious."

Please share your thoughts in the blog.

Men and Money

2009-07-26T16:52:00.000-07:00

At a recent event, my friend Jennifer stopped by to say
hello. After the event, we had the following conversation:

Jay- "What do you think
about Zeek?" (a guy who was participating in the event and
who I knew personally.

Jennifer- "No thanks, I am
just not attracted to him. Well actually, what does he do for a
living?"

Jay- "He is in xxxyyyzzz"

Jennifer- "Forget
it. He doesn't make enough. I need a man that makes more
money than I do"

Jay- "So at first you said
not interested, but if he happened to be a doctor or lawyer, then you
might have changed your mind? What does it matter if you make
more money than he does?" What ever happened to getting
involved because you like the person and want to see if something can
develop?

Jennifer- "I am
accustomed to a certain lifestyle. I need a guy who makes at
least six figures, because I do. I have tried dating guys who
don't make as much as me and it just doesn't work. It bothers
the guys as well. They get an inferiority complex. Most
men want to earn more than a woman."

Jennifer- "Women in their
early 20's want someone who is hot and fun, someone they get along
with."

Jennifer- "For women in
their late 20's, early 30's, the priority becomes friendship first,
then attraction."

Jennifer- "For women in
their mid 30's and up, it becomes about lifestyle. (standard of living
to which you have become accustomed)., the kind of life you will have
with this man. Looks and that other stuff is
secondary."

Jay- "So when you
say lifestyle, you are talking about how much money the guy has?"

Jennifer- "I didn't say
that. Lifestyle is about the standard of living to which I have
been accustomed. I look at the type of life I can have with this
man. Looks and that other stuff is secondary."

Jay- It sounds to me like you
are still talking about how much money a guy makes.

Jennifer- "I need someone
who likes to do the same things as I do. Someone who can afford
it." I have supported my share of deadbeats, and I am not
doing it again"

Some very interesting comments. Please share your thoughts in
the blog.

Guys- Would it bother you or give you an inferiority complex if the
woman made more than you do?

Ladies- Is Jennifer right? Once you hit your mid 30's, it is
all about "lifestyle"?

Jay gets a manicure

2009-07-16T12:06:00.000-07:00

Ladies,
Is a guy with manicured nails a turn on, turn off, or makes no difference at all?
I am still a little stuck being traditional in certain areas (eg women wear earrings and get manicures, spend more; time getting ready than guys etc). The Metrosexual phase just never did it for me.

That being said, I have heard some guys talk about getting their nails done, and have had some female friends (some reading this right now), saying how great it feels to get a manicure and that I should get one. Since I have never had one in my life, I was a little curious to try it. Over time, I would pass by the salon, look in and see a bunch of women getting nails done, and could not get myself to go in.

Well a few days ago, I passed by the salon and it was completely empty, so I went in.
The woman was nice and tried to make small talk, although I really couldn't understand her. (She kept saying Korea, my country, mucho money, dating, and get married. I think she either wanted me to go to Korea to start a speed dating company or wanted to get married).

Twenty minutes later she finished my nails and told me to sit in another chair. Next thing I knew, she was doing my feet. Another woman came out of the back room and and then Mr. Kim entered the salon with a bag full of products. I think he was trying to sell me some imported cologne, but can not be 100% sure. The three of them started talking and laughing for the next 10 minutes until I was finished. This made me feel uncomfortable since I did not know what they were saying.

Have you seen the episode from Seinfeld where Elaine gets her nails done and suspects people are talking about her?

After I left the salon, I noticed my nails and toenails were shining in the sun. This just didn't seem right to me. My nails looked good, but guys are not supposed to have shiny nails!! Ok, Ok, I know I am in that traditional mindset, but I didn't like it. I spent the next two days trying to get rid of the shine with nail polish remover after asking female friends for help, but it didn't work. Finally after the advice of my dentist (a guy with daughters), I bought the right stuff (special pads) to kill the shine.

So, my days for now of getting manicures/pedicures are over. I am curious though as to whether women find a guy with shiny manicured nails attractive, and then maybe I would reconsider.

Much thanks

Jay

Talk about protection

2009-06-18T15:16:00.001-07:00

There are two types of protection:

First off, lets talk about your screen name. If you are using your full name as part of your email address (example- Joan.Smith@yahoo.com), please consider making up a separate email address when attending singles events. There is no need to give out more information than is necessary when first meeting someone.

Second area of protection is yep, you guessed it, Sex. I was talking to a male friend (we will call him Bob) a about a woman he met on something called Tagged. She was from Arizona and Bob lives in Brooklyn, and he flew out to stay with her for a week. When I asked Bob how the trip went, he said "It was ok, she thought I was too feminine for her, and it looks like it will just be a friend thing."

So asked Bob where he stayed when he was in Arizona, and he said "I stayed at her house. She had a small apartment so I slept in the same bed with her." Hmm, so of course I needed to ask if anything happened and he said "Yes, we had sex. It wasn't very good because I was nervous."

Bob was a little down because things didn't work out with this gal, so I tried to cheer him up and said, "hey, no biggie. Look at it as a vacation. You got to see a new town, meet some new people, and had some "fun"...As long as you were safe, it's all good." He responded that "nope, I wasn't safe. she is clean. She has two kids and her place was immaculate. I met her mom, when I was there."

I said "Bob, wtf is wrong with you? She is clean because she has two kids and you met her mother and her place is immaculate!! What the heck does that mean. How do you didn't get a disease? And how do you know you did not get her pregnant?" Bob responded "she told me she had her tubes tied."
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Hey, I am no saint (although I am told that I look like one), but guys, just think with the right head before you do something and be safe. For all we know, Bob could not only have a nice new disease, but he could be a daddy soon, and doesn't even know it.

When you are not interested........

2009-06-09T07:02:00.000-07:00

The last time I had spoken with Jennifer, she told me she had been on a few dates with a guy she had recently met. I said "hey Jennifer, how are things going with the guy you told me about"? Her response was:

"I haven't spoken to him since the last date. It is so annoying. If he wasn't interested, I wish he would have just told me, instead of just disappearing and never contacting me again."
Yep, I admit it, I have done the same thing. Gone out on a few dates with someone and when their was no chemistry, just never called again. But what is the right way, or is their a right way (protocol) to handle it. If you have been dating for a while, then yes, I think their needs to be contact to let the other person know that it is not going anywhere.

But what about if you have dated 3 times or less and are not interested? Do you just not contact the person at all, let them know by email or text, or pick up the phone and tell them. Hey, the right thing to do is the phone, but many of us do not like the confrontation approach.

Dating someone with financial problems

2009-05-28T07:56:00.000-07:00

I received the following recently:
Dear Jay,

I am wondering if any of your readers have faced a similar situation. I had gotten involved with a woman and everything was great. About six months into the relationship I found out that this gal had serious financial problems and was going to file for bankruptcy. From that point on, she started asking for me to put a lot of her personal living expense items (e.g. telephone, credit cards) in my name.

This started to cause a significant strain on our relationship and we are no longer together. I am sure I could have avoided this heart ache, had I known towards the beginning about her serious financial situation. It may have deterred me from getting involved.

At what point is it feasible to ask someone about their financial status?

Thank you,
John

So what do you all think about this? Comment in the blog

Body Hair- What do you think?

2009-05-25T14:18:00.000-07:00

I was listening to Howard Stern a while back and heard a commercial for the ManGroomer. I have never had an issue with back hair, but then one day saw a little something where it didn't belong and decided to pick up the ManGroomer.

I had also heard a lot of female friends comment that back hair was a major turnoff, so I tend to make sure things are not growing where they do not belong.

So I recently became friends with another gal and the topic of body hair came up at a singles comedy event at the Brokerage. She said "As long as his private area is shaved, he could have back hair, nose hair, chest hair, or any other hair for that matter." Other female friends have recently said the same thing, (not about the privates), but that back hair is not really a turn off anymore.

So what do YOU think about back hair? or any type of hair for that matter?
Comment in the blog