The Secret Cause Of “Distance” In Relationships
I'm about to share a secret with you about men that most women will go their entire love lives never seeing or understanding.
Here's why it's critical that you find out about this secret RIGHT NOW...
This one simple but powerful insight could mean the difference between you becoming truly close, connected and committed with a man, in the kind of way where you TRULY know him.
Experiencing the disconnection and withdrawal that often comes from a man's fear of “losing his freedom” or being overwhelmed by intimacy in a relationship with a woman, who DOESN'T know about this secret.
The truth is, it doesn't have to be so difficult when it comes to a lasting relationship with a man.
Keep reading to learn a powerful insight most women will never come across to turn the common “resistance” in relationships with men from an obstacle to a point of growth and connection.
Oh, and here's something else you're going to get from this insight that will DRAMATICALLY change things in your love life for the better...
What you're about to learn will not only help you understand what's REALLY going on in a man's mind... since, as you know, men can often not share much or make it feel very easy to share...
But... it can also have the rare and desirable quality of actually helping a man to understand YOU more.
Wouldn't that be a breath of fresh air?
If you haven't read between the lines yet, I'm talking about a RELATIONSHIP SKILL that's CRITICAL for you to learn if you want a lasting relationship with a man.
Stop repeating the same old patterns, that you know from experience, have only lead to heartbreak, disappointment or wasted energy.
It's time for change.
It's time to do things differently.
It's time to have what you want in love.
It's time to find and use WHAT ACTUALLY WORKS in relationships with men.
THE POWER OF YOUR BELIEFS
ABOUT MEN AND RELATIONSHIPS
There's something FASCINATING that I've realized is a common source of pain and frustration for lots of women in relationships with men... and I want to share it with you.
Something that can create a subtle but powerful and lasting DISTANCE between a woman and a man.
Something that even happens for women who would consider themselves “good communicators.”
Something that brings about the very situations that most women are looking to avoid in a relationship - such as disconnection, withdrawal and a lack of intimacy.
What I'm talking about here are our BELIEFS.
But how are BELIEFS important when it comes to dating and relationships with men?
Well, beliefs have a VERY POWERFUL EFFECT on everything we think and do.
You're not always conscious of it, but your beliefs color your entire perception of what's happening around you.
You just don't see it happening because your mind does it so quick and perfectly.
Everything you see and experience is run through your own set of beliefs, and these help shape a set of meanings, feelings and emotions.
So, in a sense, what you think and feel is largely driven by your beliefs.
Here's where all this gets FASCINATING...
What if you have an overly “negative” belief?
And what if you have a belief based on fear or loss?
And what if you have a belief that's just plain WRONG?
The PAINFUL TRUTH is that, if you're like lots of women who've been hurt in relationships, then you probably have your own set of beliefs about men, relationships and about yourself in relationships.
And, like it or not, some of these beliefs are most likely shaping negative, limiting or even SELF-DESTRUCTIVE experiences in your life.
Of course, men have these kind of beliefs too, and these beliefs subtly drive parts of their thinking and behavior.
Here's a great example...
Tell me... would a healthy, loving, committed relationship with a woman really take away a man's “freedom”?
Of course not.
Believe it or not, men are smart enough to know this when they have a great woman in their life.
But then, why do so many men still believe this to be true anyway, and act it out in their relationships through non-committal or withdrawing behavior?
Here's the strange part about WHY...
It's not a man's “logical” or “rational” mind that's completely in control here.
It's the man's SUBCONSCIOUS BELIEF that a woman and a relationship will take away his freedom.
Note that I said “SUBCONSCIOUS” BELIEF here...
Which means that even if you “called a man out” about this belief in his mind, it doesn't mean that he'd be able to see what you're talking about, let alone understand it for himself.
Follow me here?
In fact, a man would probably say you were making up “psycho-babble” and not hear you at all.
But here's the point...
Men and women both have important and powerful beliefs about the other sex and relationships, rooted deep in their minds.
Do you know YOUR beliefs?
And do you know how to find out what a man's beliefs are?
Knowing this you won't fall into common deadly relationship traps other women come up against again and again with men and can NEVER get the clarity that they're after.
IDENTIFYING YOUR “LIMITING BELIEFS”
AND THE COMMON SITUATIONS WITH
MEN THAT CREATE THEM
After years of research, study and observation, I've found several of the common false or “limiting beliefs” that keep women from loving and having lasting relationships with men.
Of course, I've also found common “limiting beliefs” that men have - ones that seem to, in situation after situation, make it difficult for them to be in committed relationships.
But let's start by talking about the most important person here...
Let me ask you an important question...
Have you ever wondered if there's something you're just plain missing about men in general?
That when it comes to how men think, feel and behave in relationships, they're really all messed up and strange?
Here's something I've learned from women about what's really puzzling about a man...
How can a man be so open, generous, loving and caring early on and at various times in a relationship, but then act like you aren't the same two people who share so much when things go wrong?
I've seen this myself, and I've heard it from TONS of women who've I've met, spoken to, worked with and received emails from online.
In fact, to be honest, I've even been that guy myself in the past.
The reality is that a man can go from caring, protective, complimentary, and emotionally engaged with a woman, and then suddenly become distant, cold or uninterested.
All as though he was never even emotionally involved in the first place.
Know what I'm talking about here?
Give me a silent nod if you've experienced this kind of thing with a man before.
When it happened, you probably felt, on some level, like you'd NEVER understand what in the world is going on with men.
You probably felt like you'd NEVER MEET A MAN who was different and who would UNDERSTAND YOU.
Let alone get how love and relationships work in YOUR WORLD.
Sound or feel familiar?
Ok, now guess what these thoughts and feelings are?
That's right.. these are the BELIEFS that you've picked up from your past experiences with men.
And guess what else?
They're not very helpful to you.
In fact, they're actually COUNTERPRODUCTIVE when you're wanting to have an open, connected, loving relationship with a man.
They also create distance between you and a man - distance that most women never know they're creating themselves.
But don't worry... you're not strange, messed up or weird.
We've all been there.
You most likely took on these self-defeating beliefs to try and deal with the pain you felt, and to help make sense of it all.
There's a direct link between pain and awareness.
And when you experience pain, it's a natural reaction of the mind and body to lessen your awareness, in an effort to help numb the pain.
But here's what you need to know RIGHT NOW...
If you don't start to look for and become aware of your own Limiting Beliefs, then they'll just keep holding you back from ever finding what you want. The strange thing is, for some reason, lots of people like to hold on to their false and Limiting Beliefs - regardless of how damaging they are.
I like to think of these kind of beliefs as a “SECRET EXCUSE”.
We each have one, or more, Secret Excuses that we make up to comfort and protect ourselves from the things that hurt or disappoint us about our lives or ourselves.
But here's the reality...
Your Secret Excuse is getting in your way.
Your Secret Excuse is keeping you at a distance from men, or that one special man, in your life.
Your Secret Excuse is actually taking the new things that are coming into your life and painting them over with a dark negative “tint”.
Let me give you a few of my favorite “Secret Excuses” that I hear from women all the time when it comes to men...
“Men can't have real relationships.”
“There are no good guys out there.”
“All men cheat.”
Or, how about some of the hopeless ones...
“Even if I find a great guy, he won't end up truly loving me... and it won't last.”
“I never get back what I put in when it comes to relationships. I give up.”
Or, there are the martyr beliefs...
“I'm just not meant to have true love in my life - and all these past heartbreaks and failed situations are PROOF.”
“There's something wrong with me as a woman, and I won't be able to fix it, so I'll give up on finding real love in my life.”
And then there's the single most popular and common limiting and self-defeating belief out there...
It's so subtle and pervasive that some women pass it around to each other daily, without even noticing how negatively it effects them -
“Men are jerks.”
If you don't understand how destructive this can be, imagine this...
What do you think would be going on for a man if he had repeatedly said that he thought women were all “hysterical?”
Or how about, “Women are all bitchy?”
Not a very healthy outlook on women and relationships here, right?
Not the kind of guy you want to make a “go of it” with... right?
Lots of “baggage” to overcome.
Or maybe worse...
Lots of deeply rooted personal BELIEFS to break down before a man would ever actually SEE YOU for who YOU are and be “present” with you.
Translation - lots of emotional distance and a severe lack of understanding and intimacy.
PUTTING YOUR NEW AWARENESS OF
“LIMITING BELIEFS” TO WORK IN YOUR LOVE LIFE
So, now that you've got this new “education” about BELIEFS, how they work, and their power, what can you do to improve your situation RIGHT NOW?
What can actually create positive change and growth in the real-world you live in?
In other words...
Ideas are good.
But RESULTS are better.
The very first step is to take the time to pay attention to your own “voice.”
You know... that one that's in your head that goes off and screams loudly inside when bad things happen with a man.
And yeah, I bet this voice isn't the thing you want to try and get close to in your life right now.
But the sooner you figure out why it's there and what's behind it, the sooner you can make a positive change for the better.
Here's something simple but profound.
(My favorite kind of concept!)
The more aware you become about something, the more power you have to change it.
But you can't work with something that you haven't put your finger on and identified for yourself.
So start by working to pay more attention to the things you DON'T LIKE, or that BOTHER YOU about men or relationships.
Maybe it's that thing that has somehow happened to you again and again with men, even though you promised yourself you'd never let that kind of thing into your life again.
Yeah, I know... Yikes!
I'm asking you to look at that “crap?“
You're probably thinking that you finally got away from it.
Well, I'm not asking you to go there because I'm sick and twisted. (not much anyway...lol)
I don't want things to be tougher than they have to be for you to find and create the love and fulfillment you deserve.
No... it's because I want you to be able to move past the things that are holding you back by pushing them out from the place where they subtly undermine you.
I call this “lighting the dark spots”.
These “dark spots” are where we don't often like to look and are the places that we hide things from ourselves that we don't like when we see them.
But these places, as scary as they might seem, are the source of our Limiting Beliefs.
So, when we can bring these things into our consciousness and awareness, we gain positive power over them.
Of course, it also really helps to have experience and guidance when you start off in new areas.
Finding the right information can save you literally years or decades of time and wasted energy.
And that's where you're really in luck...
I've literally spent years helping women avoid the pain and frustration of destructive and limiting beliefs.
In fact, I've been able to save thousands of women from the wasted time and energy of trying HARDER and HARDER in their relationships and getting LESS and LESS back.
Partly by just clearing up some of the critical misunderstandings and frustrations that come from limiting beliefs.
But also, by explaining the importance of knowing EXACTLY what to do in each of the critical situations that come up with men while dating and in relationships.
There are crucial “resistance points” with men and dating... and if a woman doesn't know about these, it's HIGHLY likely that she'll trip over them and end up with the common and dreaded emotionally distant and non-committal man.
Don't end up there, with no idea of how to change things - without the drama and resistance - on how "talks" can go for lots of women with men.
Here's the good news...
A few years ago, I finally decided to take all my very best ideas, concepts and strategies that I'd used to help women in the REAL WORLD, and put it all together in one single COMPLETE REFERENCE GUIDE.
What came together was an in-depth guide to what's really going on inside the mind of a man.
A guide that any woman could quickly and easily use to transform her love life - as a single woman OR inside her existing relationship.
My ebook, “Catch Him And Keep Him” is quite possibly the world's best single “guide book” for women when it comes to the male mind, dating, attraction and LASTING RELATIONSHIPS.
But don't take my word for it...
I've included a few recent emails I got in my inbox from women who have read my book.
See what they have to say for yourself.
You can find their emails a little further below.
Or, if you want, you can download my ebook right now and be reading it in literally a minute or two.
I'm SO ABSOLUTELY CONFIDENT that you're going to get TONS and TONS of real and lasting change, growth, and benefits in your love life from my book that I'm going to make you a special promise.
I'll let you try my ebook FREE to see if you like it.
I'm 110% sure it will bring amazing change into your life with men, dating and relationships.
Although, I won't lie - it's not going to download itself and jump into your brain all on it's own...
You actually do have to read it and work with the material - and I can't do that for you.
But what better “investment” could you make that promises to bring you more connection, love and fulfillment in your relationship?
What would that be worth?
Do yourself a “free favor” right now and download my ebook for a free trial.
There's NOTHING to lose, and everything to gain.
If you don't like the book for ANY reason, all you have to do is email me to let me know and you'll pay nothing.
No questions asked. Period.
You don't even have to try and come up with a good excuse.
Don't waste any more time waiting for the love life you want to “find you” or for him to be the one to make it happen for you.
It's time to take the love that you know is possible in your life... into your own hands...
Go here now:
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Best of luck in life and love and I'll talk to you again soon.
—REAL EMAILS FROM ACTUAL READERS OF MY EBOOK—
I first want to start off by thanking you. I read your book front to cover in three days and it may just be the most powerful and inspirational tool i have ever encountered! You truly opened up my eyes to a completely new way of dealing with men and helped me see what it was that I was doing wrong.
I also read, "He's Just Not That Into You" before i read "Catch Him and Keep Him." I must say, although it was a good book, i strongly believe that yours was much more informative on an objective level. You explain it in a way that doesn't criticize or put women down. Instead you literally show us how we can make some changes in the way we perceive situations with men. Your book was a much more constructive learning tool for me.
I hope this e-mail will get to you. I bought and paid for your book this week. I also read the entire book because it is a fast read.
I just wanted to tell you that you are utterly amazing - you have your head on straight, and I totally agree with your viewpoint on the male/female dynamics. I am recently divorced after being previously widowed, so I know what a good marriage and relationship consists of based on the first marriage. At this juncture, I needed some reassurance, and your book really reconfirmed the viewpoint that I already had-- that being an independent, self-assured woman is a win for the woman, and a win for a relationship.
I've recently gone on 3 dates with someone I like. On the last date, I was kind of disappointed that he didn't make sexual advances. Based on reading your book, I am honored. Thanks for that enlightenment.
I have to tell you, this book, along with several other key events, has changed my life!!! In the past week, I've been contacting old boyfriends and forgiving them, apologizing, sending love to them and really meaning it! I am able to stop being a victim of circumstance and start taking responsibility for creating everything I want and deserve. It's all about loving and forgiving myself. I was seeking approval and a whole slew of other disgusting behaviors. I just didn't get it. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!! I'm going to tell all of my single friends about this web site and book~!
Subject: Success story
This email is about a success story, but not mine - yours! :)
Your story (ebook) is a true success! I am glad I had the guts to write my Visa-card no and order your book, I hope U won't sell it to criminals in the future.... I had some money left on the account today so I might just trust U after all. :)
I have just started to study at University (after working 17 years): Social psychology and communication, I have also gone to a course in Nonviolent Communication (Marshall Rosenberg) and what can I say: YOUR BOOK HAS IT ALL! You have great skills in several areas and combine them in a very intelligent way. I read somewhere that you said that you're not an author. You are! I can tell. It was the perfect language for this subject. You even put in data about scientific research in a very interesting and humorous way.
Actually, you have inspired me to become a "non- author" in topics about personal development and understanding people...my vision is to become a personal coach and I think this writing thing can be something for me too. I have never had that idea before but I will continue nurturing it!
Finally: THANK YOU for explaining why I have failed in earlier relationships! And also why I succeeded in some! It all seems clear now. I can't wait to test my new skills and see where it takes me :) I have come so far that I know that the only person that can make me happy is me, myself and I, that is the first step right? That means I will no longer be needy and clingy, halleluja. I have a good life without a man.
I hope you have come so far that you are able to feel how grateful I truly am for the opportunity to read your "instruction book", and that I really think that you have made a great job. Put this knowledge in your heart and keep it. I don't want to waist your time in vain, see. :)
Annki from Sweden
ps: Sorry for the "false" subject line....I couldn't resist it :)
ps2: I don't know how many grey hairs the studies have given you, but trust me, it was worth it :) You will save loads of women from unnecessary pain. Hopefully loads of men as well. That gives a lot of plus points in heaven! :)
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