Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Money and Dating

Jay: 
    Hey Melissa, how are you




Melissa: 

'not bad



Melissa: 

single and loving it



Melissa: 

just dating



Melissa: 

met a guy last night at the nautical mile



Melissa: 

so who knows



Melissa: 

thinking about moving to manhattan in sept



Jay: 

cool.  yeah, im not even dating, just working on
improving myself.  going to a tony robbins seminar in a few weeks



Jay: 

when its meant to happen, dating, it will happen



Melissa: 

i know dating sucks but fun for the girl



Jay: 

fun for the girl b/c the guy has to do the
approach work



Melissa: 

no cause the girl doesnt pay i meant lol



Jay: 

well, in many cases the girl doesnt pay, but not
always



Melissa: 

oh i never pay



Melissa: 

im so bad



Melissa: 

most times i don't even bring money with me



Jay: 

thats terrible.  I dont mind paying for a woman
at the beginning, but if she expects it, its f'd up



Jay: 

nice if a woman at least offers to pay, even
though I wouldn’t take the money



Melissa: 

really im so old fashioned i guess



Melissa: 

i like tro be wined and dined




Melissa: 

Men make more money then women, so they should pay

53 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think there are women out there who think this way, but more men these days who specifically use the womens movement and their attitude about these type of women to keep their hands in their pocket and resent treating a woman, even one who isn't greedy. I have been way too giving and too generous, and, at times, received not even a nice personality in return. As men get older, they get grouchier, less pleasant or amiable, and have less to offer, emotionally, physically, or financially. Talk about f---d up. You're absolutely right. A lose-lose situation.

Anonymous said...

I think there are women out there who think this way, but more men these days who specifically use the womens movement and their attitude about these type of women to keep their hands in their pocket and resent treating a woman, even one who isn't greedy. I have been way too giving and too generous, and, at times, received not even a nice personality in return. As men get older, they get grouchier, less pleasant or amiable, and have less to offer, emotionally, physically, or financially. Talk about f---d up. You're absolutely right. A lose-lose situation.

Anonymous said...

I always offer to AT LEAST pay my half - but I have to say, I have not found an easy way to do it, it always seems awkward, and makes you NOT want to offer even though you know its the right thing to do.

Melissa needs to get over herself. LOL - She is the reason men are bitter! ROTFL

Yankee

Anonymous said...

Im new to this site and haven't quite gotten to go yet to a speed dating event but my opinion is one that all too many times I think woman think wining and dining means "paying or loser". I dont ever leave my house without money. I always offer and not just to be nice. I offer because it is the right thing to do. We aren't living in the 20's Jay. Men are struggle with money as much as a woman does. I also think that a woman like your friend unfortunately would be high maintenance and that in my limited experience in the new dating world is exactly what a man DOESN'T WANT.

Just my opinion.

TLC

Anonymous said...

I have to say that when it comes to dating I am definitely old fashioned as well. However, I have gone on plenty of dates and offer to pay for myself...and believe me some dudes take me up on it (even a $1.00 coffee and piece of cake mine you - CAN YOU BELIEVE IT) It can be kind of a test in a way to see if the guy will pay your half of the date and be a gentleman, which in my eyes I believe he should. Unless you both have been dating for a specific amount of time, you should reciprocate the favor and treat him at times, or pay for youself. It depends on the dating situation.

This girl Melissa seems to be just a gold digger and wants EVERYTHING paid for....a bit high maintenance as one put it.

She'll learn it's not alway one sided when dating.

Anonymous said...

I always offer because I don't want to be labeled as a goldigger. However, I appreciate the chivalry and good manners of a man asking a women out on a date, paying for it, and wooing her in the beginning. If they want to split things later, or she wants to chip in fine, but there is something very unromantic about going dutch on the first couple of dates.

Anonymous said...

I don't know this Melissa person, but in this particular conversation, she comes across as a very narrow-minded woman. Not ALL men make more money than women in this day and age and for her to just ASSUME that she should NEVER pay - well, YOU know what they say when you ASS-UME!

She claims she's "old-fashioned" but what she really is, is a woman who thinks she's more than what she really is and thinks she's "entitled" to not have to pay. She probably thinks her shit doesn't stink, either! Boy, and women wonder why men think of us the way they do - it's because of women like HER! She really puts a bad name on the entire gender!!! Now, I'm REALLY pissed off!!!

Lonny said...

Dear Jay,

Unfortunately, you've run into the exception, and hopefully not the rule. I am making about half the money I used to make, so I can hardly afford wine and dine evenings anymore. I treat women as well as I can on every level, including opening and closing doors for them, running for the car when it rains so they can stay dry and wait for me, walking nearest the doorways, so no one can snatch their purse, etc.
My reaction to your conversation with her was similar to yours, meaning I wouldn't take their money ( If they insisted, I would let them leave a tip ).

I think that women offer money for three reasons :
A) They are truly nice people.
B) By paying half, they won't feel obligated physically.
C) They enjoy participating in the date on every level, regardless of how small the contribution is.

Most importantly, nice guys like you and me appreciate the mere gesture by them, and would see them again for that reason alone.

Sincerely,
Lonny from Bayside

Anonymous said...

Ok,I agree with not having the women pay on a first date.I think it shows good intentions and respect by her date. Now the flip side is some men may feel they are entitled to get something for there investment. I think if I were the women I will always offer and from that response see if there will be a second date.
Ben

Anonymous said...

Ok,I agree with not having the women pay on a first date.I think it shows good intentions and respect by her date. Now the flip side is some men may feel they are entitled to get something for there investment. I think if I were the women I will always offer and from that response see if there will be a second date.
Ben

Anonymous said...

Ok,I agree with not having the women pay on a first date.I think it shows good intentions and respect by her date. Now the flip side is some men may feel they are entitled to get something for there investment. I think if I were the women I will always offer and from that response see if there will be a second date.
Ben

Anonymous said...

Melissa is what I called a WUW! A wuw is a Washed Up Woman! She takes advantage of, probably, less attractive men by making them pay. It makes her insecurities about herself feel so much better. But the fact is that if she were a happy person (which nice people usually are) she wouldn't say bitchy things as she did to Jay. Thank G-d, my girlfriend is a sweetheart who offers to pay all the time, comes to my softball games, and treats me like gold. Believe me guys, there are still girls out there not like Melissa. I found one of them, and you will also.

Anonymous said...

I know quite a few women who take advantage of men's generosity and laugh about it. It's appalling and one of the reasons why we are having such a difficult time finding decent, caring men. When we go out to a club or bar, unescorted, we should not expect a complete stranger to pay for us. When we pay for ourselves, it makes a positive statement about us. We are not freeloaders or users, and are not giving men the false idea that we will be going home with them that evening!

Anonymous said...

Melissa sounds very high maintence and seems dependent on men to pay for dates. True a man should pay if he asks her out but always depending on it well shame on you Melissa. Women like her probably will never find the right man and she might even have some insecurities. She should do some serious soul searching and change that horrible attitude she has.

V-man

Anonymous said...

Melissa's narcissism is one reason I almost never date women from the United States. The sense of entitlement and juvenile materialism among American women is a major turn-off. These sentiments are not shared by women from other parts of the globe. Even when foreign women are dirt broke they always at least offer to go dutch, which I appreciate even when I decide to treat.
I think it's time American men outsource marriage. Date only females from other countries who are respectful, progressive, and forward-thinking. Leave the grabby, grouchy American women behind.

Anonymous said...

Women like Melissa are the reason I always have my guard up. For the record, I will just about always turn down a woman's offer to pay. I often go out for drinks when I first meet someone. If after a few dates the thought of buying a round has not even crossed her mind, she will be left to wonder why she never heard from me again.

Anonymous said...

whoever asks for the date-should pay for it

Anonymous said...

whoever asks for the date should pay

Anonymous said...

As a woman, i always bring money with me, and try to offer to pay, especially in more casual situations, like first time meetings in a coffee shop or drinks. And i always offer to split the check when dining out first few times. For the most part, i think that if the guy wants to spend time getting to know me and asks me out, he should pay, but obviously i like him enough to go out with him, so it wouldn't be totally unheard of for me to contribute to some part of the date. The thing is, it's pretty awkward, because the guys typically are already ready to pay, with money in hand, and it almost seems like a lame socially-acceptable attempt for me to try to offer to pay. Still, i think the decent thing to do is to at least make an attempt to offer to pay. We're not there to freeload off the guys, we're there with the same intent of getting to know them.

Anonymous said...

I THINK IT'S FARE TO SAY WE ALL FEEL THE SAME WAY ABOUT MELISSA.
READ THIS HONEY:
YOUR NOT FUNNY
" " COOL
" " IMPORTANT
YOUR JUST A FOOL
HOPE YOU STAY SINGLE FOREVER

YOURS TRULY, THE GUY YOU SHOULD HOPE TO NEVER MEET
B.R.

Anonymous said...

Oh Jay, Thank goodness she met SOMEONE ELSE!!!

Anonymous said...

I always offer to pay half when on the first few dates. Only twice had I actually had a guy accept the money. Once I start dating someone I like to take him out and pay for the evening. It makes me feel good to do that. Melissa sounds immature.
Sandy

Anonymous said...

THIS IS MELISSA'S COMMENTS REGARDING EVERYONE ELSE'S TO MY CONVERSATION WITH JAY

Actually I think the first date should ALWAYS be paid by the Man, that's who asked me out he should pay.
Plus to one of the readers comments I don't ever date less good looking men to get a free meal, NEVER- that's just not right- I've heard women who do that, that's not cool, I have my own money and if it came to that which it never would I go out to eat often with friends and pay all the time.
I'm a former model and I date up to my par in my looks. I normally am attracted to very successful men who have told me in the past when I have offered to pay the tip- that they were insulted when I offered to pay, and never to offer on a first date. I mean if your going to offer -you pay the whole thing not just the tip, which in a relationship I have no problem doing. I'm very generous if were dating exclusively but if were just dating its am impressive time so I never pay during that time.
Of course everyone has insecurities, but that's nothing to do with why I think men should always pay in the dating stages.

Kristin said...

I always, always offer to pay my half on a set up, first date, whatever. As a woman with a career and resources there seems to me to be no reason not to offer especially if it is a first date. If things progress, then the offer still stands because now you are hopefully building a relationship with someone and it shouldn't ultimately matter who pays. "Paying" should be a shared part of dating. Unfortunately women like Melissa are everywhere. One time, on a set up having drinks at a bar, when my date went to the men's room, a woman seated not far from us "chastised" me for buying a round! It was a beer for pete's sake!

Kristin said...

I always, always offer to pay my half on a set up, first date, whatever. As a woman with a career and resources there seems to me to be no reason not to offer especially if it is a first date. If things progress, then the offer still stands because now you are hopefully building a relationship with someone and it shouldn't ultimately matter who pays. "Paying" should be a shared part of dating. Unfortunately women like Melissa are everywhere. One time, on a set up having drinks at a bar, when my date went to the men's room, a woman seated not far from us "chastised" me for buying a round! It was a beer for pete's sake!

The Dating Guru said...

I did a post on this in my blog last month (see http://www.bestdatesnow.com/2008/06/who-should-pay-on-date.html). As a woman, I always offer to pay my half. If the guy is a social worker, teacher, etc., I have no problem paying, because I know he probably doesn't make much more than I do (I work for a nonprofit).
But if the guy works for a hedge fund or has some other type of job where he's making twice as much as I do, AND he takes my money, there won't be a second date. I figure if he can't share early on when he's trying to impress me, he won't share later!

Anonymous said...

wow...this woman has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. none. she will be single a very very long time. she needs to get over herself. fast.

Anonymous said...

Enjoy the lobster and filet mignon while you can missie. When you're a little older and your looks begin to fade, you'll be down to McDonalds & White Castle!

Anonymous said...

It's women (for lack of a better adjective)--like Melissa - who give great women, who have social etiquette and are considerate enough to at the very least offer to pay. "Because" (not "cause")--it's the right gesture and approach -- and not out of a sense of obligation at all. In reading Melissa's response, it's also clear that she lacks any type of education...or is in dire need of a remedial English/spelling class. Spelling 101--you need to enroll, Melissa. She comes across with a sense of entitlement...why? Because she is a former model? Nobody is impressed. NY is full of beautiful faces and bodies...but a conceited and nasty woman is unappealing under the surface--and ugly to the core. You can't change someone's personality--and as one other person pointed out--looks fade, and what remains is a person's outlook, and character.

Too many cliches in her response, and it's a shame men have to read this and in some cases, believe this applies to most, if not all women.

I firmly believe, that yes, the person who initially makes plans should ultimately treat--however, if there is mutual interest it is in good taste if the woman at least offer to contribute her share--it doesn't need to be calculated--whatever she can offer, even if it's her offer to treat him to coffee, or for the tip. It's a sign of generosity--and again, it should be out of sheer generosity and kindness--not because she feels he may now feel "he has invested something--and is expecting some type of reward by way of physical gratification". Again, that is such a lame cliche...and any man that things along these lines is not worth a second of a woman's time. Why keep a score card, on who's giving and taking? Just give of yourself, and you will be rewarded two-fold down the line.

As they say, it's sometime better to give than to receive.

Once a long-term relationship is established, I myself, enjoy treating a guy I care about to unique experiences (sporting events), or clue in on his interests and favorite cafes, movies, etc. But I do so, because it bring enjoyment my way to see him smile.

Women like Melissa will probably grow old and alone, and with due cause. You are no prize to any man! Wake up--and learn the meaning of the word "integrity".

Anonymous said...

who, this woman sounds full of herself....lol....might explain why she is SINGLE! "i am a former model", "i get wined and dined", "i am attracted to sucessful rich guys", "i am used to this kind of 'lifestyle'"....lol....give me a break.....lol.....this woman is a joke

Anonymous said...

I think Melissa is stating how most single, attractive, successful women feel but don't want to post because it makes you a target to be roasted. Women still only make 70 cents for every dollar a man earns, so even when guys pull that let's be equal partners stuff (which really is just him letting you know he's a cheap bastard), it's not really a level playing field anyway. Regardless, even if the woman makes more money, in the beginning the man should be chivalrous in his attempt to court the lady. I always offer to pick up the tip on the first date, but if he accepts he's not getting a second date or a return phone call.

Anonymous said...

Hi Jay-
My take is: regardless of one's lifestyle, or how they expect to be "wined and dined"...a woman should offer out of her own sense of kindness and generosity. Also, it shouldn't matter if the man is a social worker, a teacher, or a hedge fund manager...one never really knows what the other person's financial obligations and restraints are. That other person can be taking care of their elderly parents or be very much in the red...but that's nobody else's responsibility but their own--and if a person is not able to do much or go out--due to financial problems--they should probably make it their priority to handle those issues first--prior to trying to establish a relationship. At least be able to go out, and not worry about who is going to pay, or "are we going dutch"--"do I have enough"?, etc.

There are plenty of places to do go and various activities to enjoy without spending more than one can afford. Daytime activities, like the beach, bike riding, running, etc. It should be more about spending "time" with someone--rather than "money"...and then coming across like some Biotch like Melissa--who has stated she has a certain lifestyle she needs a man to address.

To Melissa--who cares what your lifestyle is? If you have those needs--address them yourself.

It's also such a shame that there are some women that feel they have to pay--just so the man doesn't feel he is entitled to some physical connection at the end of the evening. That pretty much is a form of prostitution if you ask me. And a man that expects something for a night out--is a nothing but cow turd!

Sorry--just being direct.

Melissa and women like her--give other women who have so much to offer and who are genuine and able to give of themselves a bad name!

Anonymous said...

wow! Can't believe what I read:
Melissa: i know dating sucks but fun for the girl
Jay: fun for the girl b/c the guy has to do the approach work
Melissa: no cause the girl doesnt pay i meant lol
Jay: well, in many cases the girl doesnt pay, but not always
Melissa: oh i never pay
Melissa: im so bad
Melissa: most times i don't even bring money with me

Melissa doesn't even bring a dime with her...OK--that's a form of prostitution (in my view).

It's fun--only due to the fact that she doesn't have to fork over any $$. Very pathetic...and I hope there are less women of this caliber. Much luck to the poor unasuming bloke she met on the Nautical Mile...he may sail away quick once he gets a view of the big picture--and what this woman is really all about. (the "me, me, me" syndrome).

I have read all the other comments about this conversation, and if I were Melissa--I would reflect a little. 10+ people cannot be wrong.

Ben--P.S. those men who feel they are entitled to ANYTHING-just because they picked up the tab for the night are losers and will undoubtedly remain alone for quite some time. Just an FYI.

With people like Melissa and ideas embedded into men (like Ben)...it's no wonder dating has become as enjoyable as getting a root canal! LOL

Anonymous said...

former model= Could not make it as a model.If she was making it she would be a model.
Only dates up to her par( are you kidding me) Your not up to Quasimodos par.And i never have seen you, but in my eyes you are ugly.
saying that you are dating because you can get a free meal.Damn girl talk about selling yourself off cheap.

Anonymous said...

Wow. This is quite the education on how women think. First off I don't have a problem paying when I take a women on a date. But some of the comments here are bizzare.

"Actually I think the first date should ALWAYS be paid by the Man, that's who asked me out he should pay."
What a statement. If the man doesn't do the asking there is no going out.

The "Model" just needs to get over herself. Sounds like she is just looking for a sugar daddy.

The one who like Lobster and Filet mignon, another one looking for a sugar daddy.

Actually I think this is putting too much enphisis on $. If that is the most important thing a women is looking for I want nothing to do with her. I make a very good living and I have no problem taking a women out to dinner or what have you but I don't like women who expect you to buy them the world on the first date.
Let me put this in terms women might understand. If you go to a clothing store with a No-return No-exchange policy do you try the clothes on first or buy them and then try them on?
It sounds to me like these women are looking for you to impress them with your wallet. I would rather impress with charm, whit and personality.

Anonymous said...

Someone like Melissa gives ALL women a bad name. She puts women's lib back 50 years!!
I would expect the man to pay the first date if it is for coffee or just a drink (which I believe is what every first date should be)
After that I(as a woman) would offer to pay half, or leave the tip, etc. Or if we were to keep dating and I didn't pay, I would offer to cook him dinner.
And I can't get over her "I'm a former model and I date up to my par in my looks" line. How could you be friends with such a self-centered, egotistical woman?? She's probably not even half as good looking as she thinks she is.
Well, even if she is, her personality drags that factor down I'm sure. I know, when I meet a man who I don't consider THAT nicelooking, when I get to know him and he has a great personality, he becomes better looking in my eyes because of it. And I'm sure men feel the same way. Or do they?
What do you think, would you put up with a high maintenance bi...just because she's pretty? Men, I would love to hear your answers.

Anonymous said...

I think whoever whomever asked for the date should pay. It doesn't matter if it is the man or the woman. Of course I am to shy to ask a guy out. A woman should definitely pay her half. This is the 21st century. It doesn't matter if the guy makes more money. This is not always the case nowadays. I think a girl who doesn't offer to pay is a prima donna. It also frustrates me when guys don't let me pay my half. It's like a race to see who can get there money out first. If a guy doesn't let me pay my half when I explicitlly ask then he is disrespecting me. It's no longer about the money. I can't date or be friends with someone that disrespects me.

Anonymous said...

To all the men out there:
Not all "former models" think like Melissa. I know first hand having been a model myself. I believe in sharing the costs.

To Melissa:
Go back to the planet you spun off from, it's 2008!

I want to gag from her comments, ugh.

Anonymous said...

I think Melissa time warped here from 1950- men make more money than women? Well, she will see if her philosophy works (or doesn't) with the opposite sex. I would think that whomever she dates would get upset down the line, and feel like things are not balanced. She'll have to find a guy who time warps here from the 50's too, only she may not like to deal with being barefoot and pregnant, which may go with the territory.

Anonymous said...

After reading Melissa's response, not only to I feel she's a WUW, (washed up woman), if I had a son, no matter how beautiful she claims to be, I would say to him that I would be embarrassed for him to date her. If she were to say to my son, I think I'll have the lobster", I would instruct my son to say, "Think again." Beauty will only get you so far in this world, and as far as I can see from all of the blog comments, not too many people like her type. Melissa is a stuck up, materialistic, bitch who deserves to be be with a rich snobby guy who will cheat on her constantly. But, of course, he can buy her off with expensive jewelry to keep her from leaving him. Ms. Kobe Bryant, I mean Melissa, good luck to you, and stay away from the good men. We don't need you!

Anonymous said...

Besides being totally worthless to any man who has the smallest measure of self esteem, this woman should take some writing lessons...
Her writing style leads me to believe that she, at one point, was beautiful enough to never need to develop a personality or to pay attention in school. The argument has nothing to do with whether you pay for the stupid meal, it has to do with your self absorbed attitude about it!

Anonymous said...

Melissa represents the beauty with the personality of a fish. She swims all day showing her beauty, but offers no personality, no warmth or sincerity, just a feeding frenzy from others. For initial dates, coffee or a drink is fine. Want Dinner? Split it. I do very well and date often at 53years of age, but resent a woman from telling me afterward that I am not physically appealing. Honestly, she could tell me over a drink. Dare she order a $200 bottle of wine; I will request separate checks. If she has no money, I will leave $10 for cab. She is a manipulator and user, not old-fashioned. Using prior customs as a ploy for lust and abuse is imaginary. Old-fashioned women do not use the men, they prepare picnic lunches or strolls and no pre-marital sex. No equality either.

So Women, do you want equality in all venues or revert to the past, no selectivity and definitely honesty prevails

Anonymous said...

Her comments add absolutely nothing new or insightful, shed no light on anything. It's actually very interesting that this shallow woman, who cannot use proper English, is meeting mostly shallow men. They are clearly interested only in her appearance, since it's obvious she has little else to offer. One day she is going to wake up, and her 20s will be gone, and maybe her 30s too. She'll be left with the memory of a bunch of lobster & filet mignon dinners and a parade of gullible men who were "up to her par" in looks.

Is she out of my league? I hope so. I would have little to say to her if we met, and after a few minutes in the restaurant I'd probably get up to use the bathroom and never come back.

I think shallow people deserve each other.

Anonymous said...

I always bring money and offer to pay my half but one guy was so insulted I never heard from him again! Oh well....his loss

Anonymous said...

As a general rule, I don't think women should ask for a date, pay or offer to pay for any part of a date.

Jay said...

To the person who just posted the following, can you please elaborate on why you feel this way? Why is this your general rule? Thanks
-----------------------------
As a general rule, I don't think women should ask for a date, pay or offer to pay for any part of a date.

Anonymous said...

This confirms what many men already know, but are too limp-wristed and cowardly to openly discuss: That women are superficial, and out for one thing: the man's wallet.

Equally tragic is that so many men are brainwashed into accepting this disgusting injustice. When did men voluntarily surrender their self esteem and get reduced to an open spigot to fule womens greed?

Anonymous said...

I guess what hurts the most is that a posting like Melissa's words give all of us genuine, kind, loving women a bad rap. A date is not a scientific experiment to be analyzed. It's a series of moments where you get to break bread with someone of the opposite sex and receive a chance to know them a little better. Do you have things in common? Does he or she make you laugh? Do those moments let you relax from the day to day stress that fills our lives? There seem to be enough rules that we must be guided by as we live in the world outside of dating. I bring no rules to the date, with no who what must do what restrictions. I simply take each moment as it comes on the date and hope that my smile is met with another's smile and with laughter as the best gift of the evening. When the bill comes, you just handle it in whatever manner the moment calls for...he pays, I pay, we split it...all of that maintains a low priority to simply being with someone special.

Karla said...

she sounds like a fucking idiot!

Anonymous said...

Re: As a general rule, I don't think women should ask for a date, pay or offer to pay for any part of a date.
Jay said...
To the person who just posted the following, can you please elaborate on why you feel this way? Why is this your general rule? Thanks

Women Are Disadvantaged at Work.
Women make less money than men. It's unpleasant, but a fact of life. There is also a glass ceiling; women often don't get as many promotions as men.
Whether women are paid less than men due to poor salary negotiating, career choices or institutional biases, the end result is that they have less money than men. On top of everything else, most women have children during vital career-development years.
Younger women should have it easier than the baby boomers though; more women are in the work force now than ever before. So Jay...your age groups encompass both baby boomers and younger women...maybe the correct answer on who pays for dates is somewhat age dependent as well.

Anonymous said...

As a general rule, I don't think women should ask for a date, pay or offer to pay for any part of a date.

Jay said...
To the person who just posted the following, can you please elaborate on why you feel this way? Why is this your general rule? Thanks


Women Are Disadvantaged at Work.
Women make less money than men. It's unpleasant, but a fact of life. There is also a glass ceiling; women often don't get as many promotions as men.
Whether women are paid less than men due to poor salary negotiating, career choices or institutional biases, the end result is that they have less money than men. On top of everything else, most women have children during vital career-development years.
Younger women should have it easier than the baby boomers; more women are in the work force now than ever before. Jay...your groups encompass both baby boomers and younger women.

Anonymous said...

The the poster that argues that men should automatically pay because women earn less than men...sorry but I'm not buying. Women make 80 cent...85 cents to the dollar so how come women don't volunteer to pay a portion? Seems fair.
Of course, it will never happened, because somewhere along the way, men got brainwashed into desperately needing a woman's acceptance, at the cost of his dignity. So, the REAL reason this injustice keeps going is that weak men are too scared of not having female companionship.

Paul said...

I have to disagree with the idea that the man should always pay. You might say to yourself "Hey, the statement is consistent that whoever asked for the date should pay."

But probably 99 times out of 100 it is the guy who asks out the woman, not the other way around! I would be very interested in any valid survey that contradicts this!

Yes, women are truly at a disadvantage compared to men in the workplace. However, expecting to have the date paid for equates to a payment by the man for the woman's company. The implication here is not good and really does set women's rights back at least 50 years. Is the man paying for sex? Is the man paying for the right to look at her like a possession or like a nude stripper? If not, why is he paying? Is a woman so different from a man that she should be set on a pedestal for paid observation? The only explanation would be that the man is paying for the woman's time - which equates dating to work and negates any sincere value in the relationship. That whole point of view is wrong and cheap.