Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Does age matter when it comes to dating?

To follow up on our last article titled “Older Women, Younger Men” we interviewed several men and women who attended our Long Island Singles events. The goal was to better understand why the majority of men want to date younger women, while the growing trend is that older women would prefer to date younger men. We had taken a poll a few months back and found that 68% of women surveyed said they would be interested in dating a younger man, however 65% of the men said they would not be interested in dating an older woman. The question is why???

What the guys said
The number one answer given by Men between the ages of 34-47 was that they still wanted to have children and would be concerned that an older woman may have less child bearing years left. This is despite the fact, that many women have children in their 40’s and 50’s.

The second most common response from the guys is that dating a younger woman made them feel younger themselves.

Younger men between 25 and 33 were more open to dating an older woman and did not raise the children issue.

What the women said
The ladies between 40 and 55 had a different take on the subject. They were more interested in dating a younger man because they “take care of themselves and are in better shape than guys my own age”, said Claire, a 47 year old woman from Long Island. “Older guys don’t have enough energy to keep up with me. I like to be on the go, and seem to have more in common with a younger man.”

The ladies between the ages of 25 and 40 were more divided on the topic. Most said that age shouldn’t matter at all and that it all depends on the connection and the maturity level. Most of the women in this bracket did say they were used to dating older men because women mature much faster then men.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

My problem is that most woman don't take care of them selves they are over weight and out of shape. The woman that do take care of them selves can easilly date a much younger man. I am looking for an older woman that is in as good shape as I am and is interested in dating a man her age.

Anonymous said...

I agree. I am a 54 yr old man who is into fitness. I stay fit by exercising 5 times a week. I prefer to date women my age because I feel we have a lot in common, but it's hard to find many women who are willing to make the sacrifices necessary to stay fit. Diets don't work. Eating healthy and vigorous exercise 5 times a week does wonders. It's so out of hand in this country that women who are overweight will often post themselves as "about average".

Anonymous said...

The age thing is a BIG problem on your site there is never anything for over 60 but in great shape, I;ve looked at the senior stuff UGH! Why don't you do an over 60 regardless of ratio and let the chips fall where they may,some of us are holding up really well and enjoy competition!

Jay said...

Thanks for the woman who left the last comment. I have tried in the past for men and women up to age 65. The results were 30 women and 1 man.

Anonymous said...

Hi Jay...This is from a 39-yr old woman who works outs 5-6 times a week, enjoys running, and cycling too (outdoors). It's actually difficult finding a man 40+ who is in shape (sans the beer belly!). Guys: if you like your beers (understandable)--but do your crunches! As for Albert, who is 47 yrs old...and looking for a 20 something year old? Men like that will be alone for a VERY long time...sorry to be so direct--but it's reality. A 20+ year old woman who is hopefully mature enough to have a relationship with a 40+ year old man (one that is based on emotional and intellectual interest and not purely physical)--may not want to have children until she is in her early 30's. Also, if you want to date a 20 year old and you are 47--you better have the energy to KEEP UP! I find there are very few men who are active over the age of 40--all they want to do is go out and eat. No interest in running, tennis, golfing, (participating in these sports)--not sitting on a bench and being a spectator--while guzzling beer and a hotdog! And by the way, I know plenty of women who are in their early 30's--who have had problems conceiving children, or who were unable to do so. A woman in her mid-to late 30's can still have children...it's all based on one's biological makeup. There are woman in their late 30's and 40's who are in better shape(inside/and out) in comparison to some women in their early 30's or even late 20's.

Anonymous said...

Here I am again that over 60 woman. So we can't have anymore babies but I don't think many guys over 50 do either. {I'm referring to the comment you posted} I don't want a mature male baby either, plenty of those around. I'm looking for intelligent,funny, goodlooking,well dressed,still working part time. Not as difficult as you think. Part of the problem of turn out is these men are not going on line to find events but plenty of women do hence the lopsided turn out. Your problem--SOLVE IT--
There's really a big unrippled pool out there!!!

WeekendDating.com (Jay) said...

It is a problem and if I could fix it, I would. If our mailing list grows with gentlemen in the over 60 category, we will certainly revisit the age groups again.

Anonymous said...

Maybe the answer is to have events not only age oriented but fitness conscious oriented and child desirability oriented as well - this way it puts more people on the same track during the event. I remember that you had one in the past for singles w/o children.

Anonymous said...

Age should not always matter, but it does cause I'm 51 and met a man who is 41, but when he first met me he said I looked as young as he did, but I felt bad and told him I was much older, and everytime he got mad at me, he called me old, so I had to break up with him cause that was disrespectful.

Liz said...

Jay--I have a great idea...what about an event for men who are widowers?! It's so tough to meet a normal, sane man in his 40's - who is FIT. Most have beer bellies or are limping around like a war veteran. ;(
They "used to play football, or use to run"...but are now sedentary, lack energy, and motivation and interest in doing anything but going out to eat or drink alcohol. Give me a guy that is energetic, into playing sports, going horseback riding or even meeting up at the gym...and I'm sold!!! And I'm 41....but I do work out 6-7 times a week, take dance, yoga and cycling classes.
Just enjoy being active.

Anonymous said...

What is wrong with you people???? All this emphasis on age and weight! No wonder all of you are single!! It's hard enough to find a GOOD person--one who you can be yourself around, compatible, has a good sense of humor, has similar interests or at least will be open to exploring new things. No one is perfect, we all have faults...it is this kind of thinking that keeps dating services in business and people from committing because they think if they hold out long enough they will find the "perfect mate". Unreal!

Anonymous said...

There is NOTHING wrong with these people! We all have preferences...and some of us are very active, enjoy the outdoors, and love running around, and are therefore physically fit. It's difficult to get involved with someone that has zero energy, and lacks the motivation to pursue ANY interests, aside from playing Remote Control Commander! Some of us take pride in our appearances, and address our health concerns...and are not compatible with people who just sit around doing absolutely nothing, but eating and drinking their lives away. Is finding someone who is sincere and good-natured important? Absolutely...and that doesn't come secondary to what we see on the outside. But to state that one is completely void of external preferences and lifestyle standards is an outright lie. Searching for someone who cares about their appearances does not equate to trying to find "the perfect mate". And YES--age DOES matter. Not always--but usually. Moreso, if one or the other want children...and if one or the other doesn't or can't conceive. Those are valid reasons for discussions and can and have been cause for divorces and break-ups. That's reality!

Anonymous said...

Good idea to have a fitness oriented event, perhaps a bike ride (Cedar Creek to Jones Beach?) or a hike in a park.

Liz said...

Jay--great idea...when the weather gets warmer...coordinate a nice hiking event -- as suggested by another person. Or a bike ride - that would get all the fitness enthusiasts together. It would be a nice way to network with people who share that same interest. In this case, one wouldn't have to hear - "I used to run" or "I used to go hiking"...and then find they are sitting next to the biggest couch potato around. You would actually get to go hiking, while meeting others who are active!! :)