Monday, May 08, 2006

Mistakes made by men

“The Ten Most Dangerous Mistakes YOU ProbablyMake With Women—And What To Do About It...”
Here Are The Top Ten Reasons Why Men Fail With Women—And How To Make Sure YOU Avoid Every One Of These Deadly Common Mistakes...
-By David DeAngelo, Author Of “Double Your Dating”

MISTAKE #1: BeingToo Much Of A “Nice Guy”
Have you ever noticed that the really attractive women never seem to be attracted "nice" guys?
Of course you have.
Just like me, I'm sure you've had attractive female friends that always seemed to date "jerks"... but for some reason they were never romantically interested in YOU.
What's going on here?
It's actually very simple...
Women don't base their choices of men on how "nice" a guy is. They choose the men they do because they feel a powerful GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION for them.
And guess what?
Being nice doesn't make a woman FEEL that powerful ATTRACTION.
And being NICE doesn't make a woman CHOOSE you.
I realize that this doesn't make a lot of logical sense, and it's hard to ACCEPT... but GET OVER IT.
Until you accept this FACT and begin to act on it, you'll NEVER have the success with women that you want.

MISTAKE #2: Trying To“Convince Her To Like You"
What do most guys do when they meet a woman that they REALLY like... but she's just not interested?
Right! They try to "convince" the woman to feel differently.
Well, I have news for you... YOU WILL NEVER CHANGE HOW A WOMAN "FEELS" WHEN IT COMES TO ATTRACTION!
Never, ever, EVER.
You cannot CONVINCE a woman to feel differently about you with "logic and reasoning".
Think about it.
If a woman doesn't "feel it" for you, how in the world do you expect to change that FEELING by being "reasonable" with her?
But we all do it.
When a woman just isn't interested, we beg, plead, chase, and do our best to change her mind.
Bad idea. One that will never work.

MISTAKE #3: Looking To HerFor Approval Or Permission
In our desire to please women (which we mistakenly think will make them like us), us guys are always doing things to get a woman's "approval" or "permission".
Another HORRIBLE idea.
Women are NEVER attracted to the types of men who kiss up to them... EVER.
Don't get me wrong here.
You don't have to treat women BADLY for them to like you.
But if you think that treating a woman well means "always getting her approval and permission for things", think again.
You will never succeed by looking for approval. Women actually get ANNOYED at men who seek their approval.
Doubt me? Just ask any attractive woman if Wussy guys who chase her around and want her approval annoy her...

MISTAKE #4: Trying To “Buy” Her Affection With Food And Gifts
How many times have you taken a woman out to a nice dinner, bought her gifts and flowers, and had her REJECT you for someone who didn't treat her even HALF as well as you did?
If you're like me, then you've had it happen a LOT.
Well guess what?
It's only NATURAL when this happens...
That's right, I said NATURAL.
When you do these things, you send a clear message:
"I don't think you'll like me for who I am, so I'm going to try to buy your attention and affection". Your good intentions usually come across to women as over-compensation for insecurity, and weak attempts at manipulation. That's right, I said that women see this as MANIPULATION.

MISTAKE #5: Sharing“How You Feel” Too Early InThe Relationship With Her
Another huge and unfortunate mistake that most men make with women is sharing how they "feel" too early on.
Attractive women are rare.
And they get a LOT of attention from men.
Most men don't realize this, but attractive women are being approached in one way or another ALL THE
An attractive woman is often approached several times a DAY by men who are interested. This translate into dozens of times per week, and often HUNDREDS of times per month.
And guess what?
Attractive women have usually dated a LOT of men.
That's right. They have EXPERIENCE.
They know what to expect.
And one thing that turns an attractive women off and sends her running away faster than just about anything is a guy who starts saying "You know, I really, REALLY like you" after one or two dates.
This signals to the woman that you're just like all the other guys who fall for her too fast... and can't control themselves.
Don't do it. Lean back. Relax.
There's a much better way...

MISTAKE #6: Not “Getting” How Attraction Works For Women
Women are VERY different from men when it comes to ATTRACTION.
You need to accept this fact, and deal with it.
When a man sees a beautiful, young, sexy woman, he INSTANTLY feels a sexual attraction.
But does the same apply for women?
Do women feel sexual attraction to men based mostly on looks? Or is something else going on?
Well, after studying this topic for over five full years now, I can tell you that women usually have their "attraction mechanisms" triggered by things OTHER than looks.
Have you ever noticed that you see a lot more average and unattractive men with beautiful women than the other way around?
Think about it.
Women are more attracted to certain qualities in men... and they're attracted to the way a man makes them FEEL than they are to looks alone.
If you know how to use your body language and communication correctly, you can make women feel the same kind of powerful sexual attraction to you that YOU feel when you see a hot, sexy young woman.
But it's not an accident. You have to LEARN how to do this.
And ANY guy can learn how...

MISTAKE #7: Thinking That ItTakes Money And Looks
One of the most common mistakes that guys make is giving up before they've even gotten started... because they think that attractive women are only interested in men who have looks and money... or guys who are a certain height... or guys who are a certain age.
And sure, there are some women who are only interested in these things.
But MOST women are far more interested in a man's personality than his wallet or his looks.
There are personality traits that attract women like a magnet...
And if you learn what they are and how to use them, YOU can be one of these guys.
YOU DO NOT have to "settle" for a woman just because you aren't rich, tall, or handsome.
Let me say this again: If you know how to use your body language and communication correctly, you can make women feel the same kind of powerful sexual attraction to you that YOU feel when you see a hot, sexy young woman.

MISTAKE #8: Giving AwayAll Of Your Power To Women
Earlier I mentioned that it's a mistake to look to a woman for approval or permission.
Well, another similar tactic that a lot of guys use is GIVING AWAY THEIR POWER to women.
Said differently, guys try to get women to like them by doing whatever the woman wants.
Another bad idea...
Women are NEVER attracted to men that they can walk all over... Women aren't attracted to Wussies!

MISTAKE #9: Not KnowingEXACTLY What To Do In EachType Of Situation With Women
Now I'm going to blow your mind...
A woman ALWAYS knows what you're thinking.
Women are approximately TEN TIMES better than men at reading body language. That's ten TIMES.
I know, it might be hard to believe. But for example, if you're out on a date with a woman, and you want to kiss her, she knows it.
And if you don't know exactly what to do and exactly HOW to kiss her, and you just sit there looking at her and getting nervous, she won't help!
And this goes for ALL aspects of women and dating...
Approaching a woman, getting her number, asking her out, kissing her, getting physical... everything.
If you don't know what to do in each situation, you will probably screw it up... and LOSE EVERYTHING.
And you KNOW it.
It is VITALLY important that you know EXACTLY how to go from one step to the next with a woman... from the first meeting, all the way to the bedroom.

MISTAKE #10: Not Getting HELP
This is the biggest mistake of all.
This is the mistake that keeps most men from EVER having the kind of success with women that they truly want.
I know, guys don't like to make themselves look weak or helpless. We don't like to ask for help.
Hey, I've been there myself.
Let me tell you a little about me and how I figured out how to be successful with women...
About five years ago I became fed up with the fact that I didn't know how to approach, meet, and get dates with women that I was attracted to.
It frustrated the hell out of me.
One night I was out with a friend, and I saw a woman I wanted to ask out, but I just couldn't get up the nerve to do it. I can still remember that night... right on the spot I made the decision to do whatever it took to learn how to be successful with women and dating.
Well, after a lot of hard work and trying all kinds of crazy things, I finally figured it all out.
I can now approach just about any woman and get her number almost instantly. I've dated models, I've dated actresses, and I've dated nice, normal, regular girls as well.
It has been a very rewarding experience. I no longer feel that sick, insecure feeling... like I don't know how to meet women... and I might wind up alone.
I know that anytime, anywhere, I can go out and meet attractive women.
I've written a book on the topic, and I've done seminars on both coasts of the United States... and taught tens of thousands of men all around the world.

10 comments:

Diane said...

Wow what a fascinating article! Since I'm a woman, I can say I've been guilty of some of those mistakes as well toward men. I guess that's what makes the opposite sex so interesting. Neither side has the other figured out! lol

Diane said...

Wow! What a fascinating article! As a woman, I must confess that I am guilty of some of those very mistakes. I guess that's what makes the opposite sex so interesting; that neither side has the other one figured out! lol

Anonymous said...

How sad that the entire article deals with less-than-attractive men (looks-wise) attempting to meet very attractive women (looks-wise). The most interesting part of the article had to do with explaining that looks aren't everything to women. Perhaps if men were more willing to pay attention to women that aren't picture-perfect, they might have better luck meeting the Ms Right!

Anonymous said...

You have this all wrong. I'm a 'very attractive' female and there's nothing more that turns me on than a man that treats me well. All of those tall, dark, handsome players can go jump in the river as far as I'm concerned. You're right in that good looking women have a lot of dating experience. One of the things they've learned is that it sucks to be disrespected and treated like crap. Kindness and great manners works every time.

Anonymous said...

Response to "I'm a 'very attractive' female". The fact that you actually know what it like to be disrespected & treated like crap, shows that you CHOSE to date such guys in the past. If you are that pretty, you've obviosly had a plethora of "nice guys" surrounding you, who you CHOSE to not to date over these bad boys in the past. I'm sure you have been surrounded. After being hurt repeatedly, only then, do women say they only want a nice guy. At least they...say it...not necessairly practice what they preach.

Anonymous said...

You make a few good points. But at the end, you are just generalizing here. You also have to realize that every woman is very different, love completely different men, like to be loved and touched in different ways, etc. Now that I'm in my 30s I can say that women will always respond and be attracted to a guy with backbone, confident, funny, kind, and always ... funny! Never be afraid to speak to any woman if you have these qualities. Ian

Anonymous said...

U KNOW HOW THE SAYING GOES "THE WORSE U TREAT A WOMEN, THE BETTER SHE TREATS U"!! TO ALL THE PRETTY WOMEN OUT THIER!!! U KNOW FOR YOURE SELF NICE GUYS FINISH LAST AND ITS THE TRUTH!! DONT KID YOURE SELF OR EVERY ONE ELSE!!

Anonymous said...

Unfortunately i do fall for the bad guys mostly becuase they are so good at what they do. They know how to fool you, they are funny, outgoing and interesting. Then once you fall for them and you are in too deep they reveal their true colours.

Anonymous said...

I'm a woman and I don't agree with most of this article. As many types of woman and men as there are, you certainly can't generalize like this. If two people are going to click, they will. Just keep trying until you meet a good match. And men, sometimes trying over and over again with the same woman does work. I've heard stories and seen it happen many times.

Paul said...

Yeah, but isn't that a sad pathetic guy to have in your power as a woman? The guy keeps trying and chasing until the woman, totally turned on by the power trip, has mercy on him and lets him take her out. Think about it: that's no better than when a guy treats a woman like a pet.

I'd love to believe in an ideal world where guys and women meet on equal footing, but they are simply not on equal grounds. Women have the power, and, like King Lear, they get played. You can't have it both ways completely. A really smooth, funny guy is going to be good at playing women. A not so smooth guy is increasingly boring and irritating. A mature woman might say they can tolerate this, but they cheat themselves out of a fuller sense of attraction to a truly smooth guy.

Maybe the best thing would be to train guys to be smoother in the school system?!? Schools really fail badly in social education and social awareness training for men.

The author of this article is completely correct! I am successful, athletic and attractive, but I can tell you it does not help me at all because none of that is fun. If you disagree, look at all the brilliant, beautiful women who end up with guys like Kevin Federline!