Sunday, December 25, 2005

Older Women, Younger Men?

Seems like the growing trend is that many women are interested in younger men. However, the majority of men we speak with are only interested in younger women. Why is that?

50 comments:

Anonymous said...

I am a 38 year old man and still want to find a woman to settle down with and have children. I think some guys in my bracket prefer to date younger women, simply because we do not want to feel like we are on a time clock with to respect to how long the woman can still have children.

Anonymous said...

I am a 40 year old professional woman and I find that men my age are intimidated by my brains and independence. While younger men seem more intrigued they are usually not ready to get into a serious relationship. Yet men in their 40's are having too much fun with the younger women.It's a no win situation.

Anonymous said...

lust and control..younger women invoke more lust in most normal men (except those with mama issues)and older women seeking younger men look for someone they can control(note the increase in female teachers having sex with much younger students).

FRANKisms

Anonymous said...

From my perspective, I don't necessarily have to date "younger" man (I just turned--gulp--50, and I am a realist). However, I do want a guy who's at least in my neighborhood, age-wise, as opposed to someone who lives a lot "north" of me, so to speak. For me this means at best no more than 5 years older than I am, and 5 years younger would be even better.

Why? Much like the woman who said older guys can't keep up with her, I find in general a significant difference in energy level between me and a guy who's, say, pushing 60 or better. Also, overall I'm more comfortable with someone who's in his 40s than in his 60s, to be sure. Accordingly, like the
guy who said that being with a younger woman makes him feel younger, well we women feel the same way! Finally, when thinking in terms of a potential long-term relationship, women in my group don't want to be saddled with an elderly man that we may have to visit in the nursing home in 10 years. Yet most of the men who seem attracted to me and friends in my age group are the ones you want to address as "Grandpa."

I can understand a man in his late-30's/early-40's wanting someone in their group or somewhat younger due to the children thing...but it is incredibly frustrating that men in my age range care so much about a younger woman,since they more than likely already have had their kids. And yet they still look for someone who's less accomplished, less challenging and more eye candy...even though they themselves are average at best. (As I recall from the last event I attended, as an overall group the women looked a lot better than the guys, if you ask me!)

Pardon my rant and trust me, I could go on for days about this subject. I just wanted to encourage you to solicit more feedback from your members

Anonymous said...

I consider a younger man to be in his 30's, since I'm 42. Why would a younger man want me? Because I'm not an immature, self-absorbed mall shopping 20 something, I'm financially stable, have a great career and am finished having children. I still look great (size 8, 34DD) but am very selective of who gets my time.

A person who is dating for fun is who I'm looking for - NOT someone who wants to get married. Many men in this 30+ age group are post-poning marriage. And why not? Today's woman gives away bedroom time as casually as they walk their dog around the block.

Women lose in today's world because they have inherited the feminist world of careers and easy sex, told not to marry until later (if at all) and then they get left standing alone without a partner because they are older and not as attractive as a younger women.

Women have fought to be treated as equals and then demanded to be their man's princess. What man wouldn't be confused with the women of today?? Older women are past all of that and less complicated.

Anonymous said...

I also Like Younger women because I feel that there maturaty levil is at about the same as mine. I also feel that I seem to always make a good conection with them.

Anonymous said...

OK. Here is my situation. I am over 50; look 38 (some say 32 to 35! without cosmetic surgery!), dress in style, phyically more fit than 99% of those 25 & over (workout & play sports). Active, fun, attractive, secure and sane. That's me. NO BULL. I went to my HS reunion. All the men who graduated with me LOOKED "old" save for one! I have dated men in my age group (within a couple of years) & the gents have have no SPARK! The problem, I attract younger men (35 - 39). But, what do I have in common with a 35 year old? Physically it's great - mentally, emothionally, it's not so great! What to do? My wish, is to meet an attractive, active, fit, fun & sane guy over 45 who is like me. That's difficult. So I am "blessed" and NOT so "blessed". Any suggestions out there? I would love the input!!!

Anonymous said...

As a woman of 43, which places me right at the end of the baby boom generation, I find that older men, who grew up during the baby boom, mostly had mothers who stayed at home, cooked and cleaned, etc, while younger men are more likely to have had working mothers. Since I do have a full time career, it is off-putting in a relationship when older men expect me to also take care of a household with them doing nothing whatsoever in the home. Younger men, on the other hand, grew up doing household chores as a matter of course because their mothers worked. They therefore make much better partners. And since I look much younger than I am (for instance, at 40 I was asked out by a 23 year old), younger men are a better choice.

Anonymous said...

I am a 40 year old attractive female and I am currenlty having a relationship with a 24 year old strapping young jock. We initially hit it off as friends while playing on a co-ed softball team together. Then went out with a group and ours eyes met and have been physically attracted to each other ever since. I told him we can only be friends because of the age difference, but last week he admits he is now in love with me and doesn’t care who knows that we are involved. Should I end this relationship that makes me feel good, we have a lot of fun and the sex is great just because society doesn’t think its appropriate? For now I am living! Men do it all the time, its time for women to have young lovers as well.

Anonymous said...

I am an attractive 40 year old woman currently in a relationship with a 24 year old strapping young jock. We initially hit it off as friends while playing on a co-ed softball team together. Then went out with a group and ours eyes met and have been physically attracted to each other ever since. I told him we can only be friends because of the age difference, but last week he admits he is now in love with me and doesn’t care who knows that we are involved. Should I end this relationship that makes me feel good, we have a lot of fun and the sex is great just because society doesn’t think its appropriate? For now I am living! Men do it all the time, its time for women to have young lovers as well.

Anonymous said...

OMG, this is terribly depressing..... I am 35, divorced and have no probkem meeting and having men attracted to me (I take care of myself)

I have had a problem meeting men that I am equally attracted to... Thus my problem... I am single. I date and date and date... but have yet to meet a man whom I want and want and want...

I dont care if he is 5 yrs younger or 5 yrs older... I just want attraction on my side to him... WHERE ARE THESE MEN!?!?!?

Anonymous said...

And I thought I was alone in this. I recently turned 42, divorced, no children and want a family. I'm in great shape, look about 30, some say younger, some say 32. I have trouble meeting stable guys my age. They either aren't yet married (and have MAJOR issues) or divorced, and both camps seem to want women in their late 20s, early 30s. Yet I look 10+ years younger and am financially secure and emotionally mature. So, the dilemma continues as others have mentioned here. Older men always want younger women and those of us who measure up in every respect are left alone because of a number. Such a tragedy. . .

Anonymous said...

Do not knock older woman if you haven't tried them. Those who take care of themselves can be fun, sexy and exciting. It took many of us to get here to feel this way. We were too busy taking cre of husbannds and children.it can be better than ever!!!!!!!!!1

Anonymous said...

For me life began at 48. It was more fun, exciting and sexy than eve. Thank God a man my age realized that. These young guys ahve no idea what they are missing. I do not want a fat,boring, old man set in his ways. Mrs. Robinson was not so far off base.

Anonymous said...

life for me has just begun. having come out of a bad marriage,i was looking to date.
i met a man younger then me(by 13 yrs.)
there are men younger with brains, though few and far between.
we are taking it a day at a time , enjoying what we have.
who knows where it will go,but hes got it all,intelligence, spunk and brains to boot.
i say age is just a number and the quality of the person is so much more important.

Anonymous said...

I am 40 and am seeing a man who is 21 years old. I do not think in terms of marriage [been there got the T-shirt] I already have two beautiful children with no desire to have any more. I take it one day at a time and enjoy the time with him. He is funny, makes me laugh, makes me feel like a princess, he is attentive and surprsingly romantic. I know the day will come where he will think about settling down and start his own family. I am just having fun till it ends.

Anonymous said...

i am a 49 year old male and i love women older than me. i have no problem with women in their 60s'. i have seen some very beautiful women in their late 50s' and 60s'. they are also much more sexy than young girls and don't beat around the bush whenit comes to intimacy, they know what they want.

Anonymous said...

I'm a 37 yr old divorced mother of 2 boys: age 14 and 8. I do NOT want to date someone more than 5 years younger than me - I already have sons, thank you. It's too bad that so many men my age only want to date women with no kids... oh well, their loss!

Anonymous said...

I am a 29 year old woman, who is currently dating a 20 year old. He is very attentive to my needs and is always looking out for my best interest. He looks up to me with respect and responds to me with honestly. He is very mature for his age and has nothing to hide, his past, well he has no past! Which is more than you can say for an older man!

Anonymous said...

I am a 56 year old woman (boy! that does sound old, does it?) anyway, I have found that it is true that men my age really do only want to date women who are younger than 40. Also, even though most men have not aged gracefully, they do beilieve they are a REALL catch to any woman .. I have a surprise for them. If we have 'some extra pounds' on us that is one thing, and we probably can lose it .. but if you are bald or balding, are over-weight and have not aged greatly .. what are you going to do about that. I do not understand how you can think that a younger woman (unless she is 'gold-digging' can have and retain an tnterest in you . woith someone my age, you might have a slight chance! think about it! just how long are you going to keep her happy, till your money runs out? consider someone in your age group, I think you (and I) would be happier.

Anonymous said...

I am a 38 year old woman and have been dating "young" for a while. There is a happiness, and an energy to younger men. And there is not a crushing pressure to avoid mentioning the future, if children are wanted, where you see your life going. Plus, and a big plus, is that younger men (between 25 and 33) are so open to what life is going to bring. And not for nothing, the chemistry and hormones just line up spectacularly!

Anonymous said...

Think about the celebrity trends. Billy Joel is nearly 60, married to a 24 year old woman. Demi and Ashton have more than 15 years between them. For every man with a younger wife there is a woman with a younger husband. Both have different benefits and detriments, but what it says in the end is that age is just a number, isn't it?

Anonymous said...

I was married to a younger man (11 years) for 20 years. I too, look younger than I am and am fit and can keep up so to speak with a younger man. However, now that I am divorced from this younger man, I am looking for a man more my own age. A man, who grew up sharing similar events as I did. I would not like to date anyone younger than five years now. I believe we can relate better.

Anonymous said...

I am kind of an old fashion girl at 40. A man 9 to 14 years older than myself would be nice. I happen to enjoy men in thier 50's. I think they have been threw alot in life and have learned wisdom. Of cause this does not apply for all over 50 year old men nor does it apply to all under 50. I'm just saying that the ones that Ive met and have dated more than 6 months, Ive found this to be true.

Anonymous said...

I am a 40-yr old guy, and like both yougner women and older women. Depends on the woman. when I was 29, i dated a 49 yr old. And when I was 35, I dated a 23 yr old.
I'd love to meet the 42-yr old, size 8, 34DD. sounds physically fit, and emotionally fit too. Perfect combination

Anonymous said...

I think older woman, younger man is an absolutely great idea!!!! Most women, as they get older (if they stay single) tend to become smarter, sharper, wiser, funnier and more confident. They are vibrant and alive and have get up and go,,,a renewed sense of vitality. Men, although they look better with age, don't come close to a woman's energy level after a certain age. SHE NEEDS THAT YOUNG MAN FOR MANY REASONS!!! Unfortunately, when the age difference is too drastic, I honestly don't think it can last, but while you have it....GO FOR IT!!!

Anonymous said...

comforting to see that there are other "older" women who share my situation, single after years of marriage and children grown... i am 55, look younger, am fit, have a busy career, living in manhattan. i find that most men my age, even those a bit younger, are "older" mentally than i am, lack energy, have let themselves go physically, and have basically settled into "retirement" mode.... that's NOT what i am looking for. unfortunately, most Singles events cut out women in their 50's. also, why do these events have different age ranges for men (older) and women (younger). these events are reinforcing the prevailing stereotypes. jay, do something about this!

Anonymous said...

I am 39 and dating a 23 year old. I am so glad I am not alone here. I am having fun with him. I enjoy spending time with him, so that is all that should matter. I don't have a preference for any one type of man. I am looking for a good guy and whatever package he comes in should not make a difference. Some here have said that maybe it won't work in the end, but I am going to find out.

Anonymous said...

I am experiencing the most difficult time in my life. Totally taken by a guy younger than my two sons. We are soulmates and an ideal match on every possible level. I know this cannot last... but appreciate every moment of joy and laughter as it comes. He is so much more mature and focussed than any man I have ever met.Why why why did this happen to me? I can pick from the crop and did not want to be in this situation. To all in this situation I have tremendous empathy with you.

Anonymous said...

The problem is this....This country is too caught up with age. Yes, I get the maturity thing etc, but doesn't it stink that you can be a 42 year old hot woman with a better body than a 25 year old and look 28. What pops up? The age! It's rediculous! Man are obsessed with age! It's ok for a 42 year old guy to have gray hair, a gut down to his knees and have the nerve to want a 20 year old chick. Women on the other hand are considered useless by some when she's over 30. The other night I was with friends who are all 26 and 27. I am 30. This guy, who was clearly interested in me asked my age. When I told him 30, he couldn't even hide his disappointment. He was 28.
My mother who is gorgeous and young looking always tells me and my single friend that we should go to Europe to find our men, because they are not so caught up with age there (she's European, so she knows.) If they find you interesting, hot, fun, love your personality, a good match and so on, they could care less about age.

karen white said...

I am a 47 year old woman who has been in a relationship with a guy 16 years younger than myself for 14 years. We have been through amazing times and we have been through awful times but he is now embarrassed by me and excludes me from everything. This is a very painful time for me and I feel when he finds someone younger looking showing an interest it will give him the courage to go, We brought my 4 children up together and we both miss those times desperately. What can I say ? A relastionship this long is not a failure but I am the one still totally in love and he is the one not bothered anymore and that includes sex, We do have a sex life and it is sometimes okay but I do not want to let go of what has been the love of my life, think we are both trapped. He says it will go one way or the other but I am impatient and rock the boat because I am lonely and frustrated

Leon Augustino said...

I am 33 yo now and started to date with older women since I was 25. The biggest age difference was up to 18 years. I don't see any problem on communication wise. I love the attention from others when I hold her hand and walking down the street. Even when we broke up. It's a peaceful one, no yelling or begging...

For those ladies who called themselves "old fashioned" or "conservative" who never consider date with a few younger guys (you can't say they are all brainless, if unfortunately you met one). You might lost half of the fun in you life... as well as those men judged on older women solely by appearence.

guccigirl said...

I am a 40 yr old female inlove with a 24yr old guy. He is everything I never thought a 24yrs old could be for me at my age. A lot of people say I look good for my age, like late 20's early 30's. My mom said 40 is the new 20 and that 40 is just a number. I certainly don't feel 40, but always thought that the man was suppose to be old that the woman. I will say out of the 3 relationships I have had, this 15month one has been by far the best one. He's sincere, loving, respectful, hard working and loves me more than anything. I guess I'm lucky.

Anonymous said...

I am 43 and man of almost 3 years is 33. It's a perfect age difference, I'm old enough to be his big sister and that's all. We have plenty in common obviously. He grew up in the 80's & 90's me in the 70's and 80's, so we share events in common, musical tastes, etc. Essentially we are the same generation. My feeling is once you are past a decade in age you might not have as much in common so my rule has always been no more than 10 years either way. Incidently, my last guy was a decade older. No problems there either. Yes, it's unfortunately that society harps too much on age, especially when it comes to women. I've dated on line and I would never put my actual age. No comers at all. I happen to look a decade younger so I dress it too, therefore I feel justified in saying I'm 33 - 37 on-line. I attract a lot of older, not so well preserved men who think they're entitled to hotties and younger cuties too. Still, I've found just as many men don't care much about age if the woman is hot enough in their estimation.

Anonymous said...

I am a 33 year old woman, was married, but have been happily single for 6 years now. My ex-husband was 2 years older than I. Since our divorce, I decided I would date older or younger men. I didn't date many... only two seriously. One was older and one was younger. Both were complete gentlemen and treated me well, however, I found that the younger guy acted more energetic and playful than the older, but the older guy was more fatherly. I preferred the energy. I already have a father. I haven't dated anyone in about three years now, but I just met a guy that is 9 years younger than I. I really like him a lot. We have so much in common, it surprised me a bit. Right now we are friends and I'm open to see where it will go. Time will tell.

Anonymous said...

I am a 34 year old female and 3 months ago my 3year relationship with a 42 year old man ended. Since i have been single, i have been trying to meet and date men in their 30's and up. I have been on many dates and feel like pulling my hair out with these older men. For some reason I have a 23 and 25 year old calling all the time and trying to take me out. I dont get it??? I love the attention and find them fun and attractive but i admit the age thing does bother me. I dont want to give all men a bad rep, but I think men in their 30's and up could learn a few things from the younger male population these days starting with call us, ask us out, HAVE A PLAN and dont be so lazy put some effort into it. Thanks for letting me vent.

Anonymous said...

I am in my late 40s and married to a man 10 years my senior. He is a great guy, but slowing way, way, WAY down. I, on the other hand, am speeding WAY up. We have children in their late 20s. For years I've referred to anyone under 30 as a "kid". Not anymore. I met a young man who is my equal on every level, and he's 20 years my junior. We have been together once, and he was the one who had the crisis of conscious because I'm married and he knows my family. But the one time we were together he couldn't get his clothes off fast enough. I would love to run away to be with him, but of course he wants children and a family of his own someday - I've already had that so the situation is impossible. I just want to spend time with him because we click on every level and get his clothes off on a regular basis. I would also like to stop hearing about his "hot dates" with 20 something airheads. We are very close friends so he feels perfectly comfortable confiding these things in me. That's what makes me feel old. But now that I've had a taste of the younger, sharper man, I am going to have to modify my marriage vows to allow for new recreational activities - that's for sure. If you are a younger man, you are truly missing out on the older woman. When I was done with him he could hardly move. I've never seen such passion openly displayed by one person - and all he wanted to do was please me...

Anonymous said...

Sixty four year old who everyone says looks no older than 50-52. I am fortunate in that way. It does cause problems. If I go out with someone older than I am, I am chided for dating a reallly older man. I am also afraid of becoming a nurse which most older men want and need. I do like a guy who is in his late 40s. First time this has happened and I really like him. Difficult to read him but he does not avoid me. I would rather be a babysitter than a nurse. Comments ,please

Anonymous said...

I an 46 year old man who's dating a 66 year old woman. It's a testy relationship because she definitely likes to be in control. But we do have a nice rule. As long as she gets what she wants - I get what I want. Oh, the sex is unbelieveable.

Anonymous said...

I am a 19 year old male. I am looking for an older woman. As women have said in earlier posts, that women 18-29 are self centered, mall shopping girls with no power, or wit about. It is almost impossible to have a logical conversation. But women older see men my age as immature,and carless. I want to find a woman in her 30s that wants a man my age. Is this possible?

Anonymous said...

Im 48 and am living with my boyfriend who is 25. We are Asians and in this region its the same taboo, in fact much more since his parents are traditional Indians so we are keeping our relationship quiet from them for now. As we live in another country, its just a little easier for us be together.

He always thought i was in my mid 30s and we never ever discussed age.. he has a tremendous sense of humour, is sensitive and kind, is communicative and we get along very well. I am not a control freak nor do try to be his mother. I like caring for him but i am also firm about him picking up his underwear from the floor and helping with chores, etc.

I can see myself spending the rest of my life with him and would love to have children with him but i know if ever the subject of marriage came up, his family and mine will have a fit. More so his I think.

I have never had a boyfriend who treated me with love and affection as much as he does. Most of the men in my life were unfaithful and showed very little concern. This one is a good human being and i love him. He now knows my real age and it doesnt seem to concern hi.

Age should never be a concern in relationships. If you get on well, can communicate with each other openly and honestly, care for each other and respect each other, then be together then certainly stay together and dont worry about what other people say or think.

Anonymous said...

I am 45 look like I'm 29/30. I have a 30 year old sister who has crow's feet really bad around her eyes I have none. I was married to a man who I thought was the love of my live. we were Married over 20
Years. He was 11 years older than me. And after 20 years He still found someone younger than Me. I cried got mad and then I started dating again. I have date men in there lower 30's and Mid to upper 20's. My current boyfriend is 24 years old. He give's me the butterflies and the tingles that my ex used to give me. First time in a long time a man has done that. He is getting his Master's and is financially secure. Very Mature for his age. So what is wrong with! Nothing at all. Its been ok for men for 1000's of years to date and marry way younger women. Don't you think it's time for the WOMAN. And he is very happy and content. He has dated nothing but older women. He is from Europe and I guess it is more commen place over there than the bent up USA. Happiest I have ever been at 45

Anonymous said...

actually im 22 and im dating women in age of 30 for 2 years now,,,its amazing feeling n i broke up with girl in my age coz she prefer men older than me...and we r getting married this summer...for all who date women older than them,go on,,its amazing life and feeling...good luck 2 alll

Anonymous said...

Interesting comment ... "lust and control"

Should one not also state:

younger men invoke more lust in most normal women and older men seeking younger women look for someone they can control.

Not that I really believe any of it. People get into relationships for all sorts of reasons and I think it is very simplistic to generalize like this.

Interesting though that society accepts older men going out with much younger women. But then again ... society calls older single men "bachelors" but women are "old maids". And what about men who sleep around. They are "casanovas" where as women are "sluts"?

Maybe this all more about prejudice than real facts.

Anonymous said...

I am concerned about my 53 year old friend who is smiten with a foreign man who is 25. They met through work, she is in a management position. I'm no prude but this situation has me worried, her boyfriend is younger then her 2 sons. I am also concerned that her job may be in jeaopardy. any advice? am I worrying for noghting?

Anonymous said...

I am 45 female. My bf is 20. We have been in an exclusive relationship for about 8mos.
He says he likes older women because he doesn't have to explain things more than once. We have more experience. He says he finds girls his own age "lame". He's very handsome. He has had some hard times in his life, so that is perhaps why he has a bit more mature view.
I am divorced and am unable to have children. I suppose that lack of responsibility has kept me more youthful in spirit and body.
He is the most appreciative and loving boyfriend I have ever had and we live together now and plan to make it a more permanent living arrangement.
It is a little embarrassing if we go out and some young girl thinks I am his mom. But if that's the only trade off - well worth it!!!

Anonymous said...

Older woman are by far better than younger snotty selfish ones, they are alot sexier and alot more assured,
I met this one at a fair last yr, we hit it off and we talked for the whole time i weas there,
she was a hair dresser and was from the older school and she took care of herself,
ohh man what a babe,
nice sunglasses, nice hair, freindly liked to touch and be close,

Anonymous said...

How do you feel about a woman in her 60's dating a man in his 40's?
I think cmpatibility counts more than age......any comments?

Anonymous said...

So googling mature dating NYC led me to this site and after reading the comments I feel like there are many very attractive women on here into younger guys soooo I'm going to try something...I'm 28, great job, athletic in great shape, 6'6" work out daily enjoy everything from dining out to galleries to movies at home to broadway. Girls say I'm handsome some say hot other say very cute. I have no idea where to find older women but I'd like to date one because I feel they are more mature and know what they want. Anyhoo if any of you lovely ladies read this and feel like doing something completely random by responding to this I'd be more than happy to send you a pic of how I look and answer any questions you may have. Name is Chris and email is nycity3232@gmail.com....can't believe I just put out an ad for myself but oh well. Gotta take a chance once I'm a while. Oh and I'm very confident in how I treat women and know that this will be a great thing if we hit it off.

Anonymous said...

i am a 44 year white woman that is currently 4 months pregnant. The father is 27 and black. I let him get me pregnant. I don't know. something about him, about a mixed baby, and I think that this being my last chance to have a baby. We get along great. I love being pregnant with his baby. He is the first younger guy I have dated and the first black guy I have ever had sex with. And they are right, once black you on't go back. LOL